I've Fallen and I can't get up because I'm drunk!

[The Nephilimiest]

Hello. Wow. Landover Baptist, THE Landover Baptist forum.

I've read a few threads before registering, and I have to admit I'm excited, astounded, and amazed.

I'm eager to read more. Wow.

I don't currently go to a church. I live in Utah, so... yeah. You wouldn't go to any of these churches either, haha.

[The Nephilimiest]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

Favorite verse would probably be Genesis 6:4, but I'm finding sooooo many others so fast that it's hard to pick just one.

Deuteronomy 2:31!

Numbers 21:34!

Hebrews 8:4 or 10:37!

1 Thessalonians 4:14-16! or even 2 Thessalonians 2:11!

Proverbs 1:7!

1 Kings 22:22!

Psalms OH THE PSALMS! 51:5, or 58:3, 1 and definitely 139:16!

Romans 3:10 or 3:23!

OOooooooooh HOW COULD I FORGET Isiah 45:7! ?!?!?!??!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!

(sorry, excited.) Yep.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

Are you a Mormoon? Why are you here? This is a Christian forum.

Can you at least tell us your name, gender and age? What church were you raised in? What sins have you been wallowing in? Tell the truth and don't skip the details.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Didymus Much]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

Favorite verse would probably be Genesis 6:4, but I'm finding sooooo many others so fast that it's hard to pick just one...

You really should just relax, calm down, and read the whole thing. Brother V's Bible in a Year is an excellent source of the Truth™ (as recognized around here ). Take notes, and we'll discuss.

[The Nephilimiest]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

Pastor Ezekiel -

I'm not a Mormon, no. I'm surrounded by Mormons, yes.

Name, gender, age - The Nephilimiest, male, 45. I'm not telling you my real name! I've heard terrible stories about Christian Voodoo and real name and all that.

Church I was raised in? Lazy, lapsed Catholic. Rejected during high school, which was in fact a Catholic high school. Coincidence? Nah.

Sins wallowing in? Hmm. There are so many, you know? Denying the Holy Spirit, rejecting and criticizing the Bible, doubting the existence of God and the historicity of Jesus, a lot of abstract stuff like that; not such much in the way of killing, stealing, etc. I'd go into gory details, but I know you don't want to be exposed to such... low narrative.

I will say I AM impressed by your self-righteousness and intolerance for shenanigans (love the trademark).

Didymus - I won't compound my ever growing list of sins by lying and saying I have read the Bible cover to cover, but I have read most of it. Going to take a look at the post you referenced.

One question: Do True Christians use any kind of Bible Concordance, or show any consideration to the "you gotta know the Hebrew/Greek" perspective, or does KJV English provide all the Truth I'll need to know? Thanks.

[Jedediah]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

Sins wallowing in? ... Denying the Holy Spirit

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you screwed the pooch with this one. Sorry, your sins will not be forgiven. Your ticket to the hell train is as good as bought and paid for. Here's your travel brochure. Enjoy.

Matthew 12:31-32
Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.

One question: Do True Christians use any kind of Bible Concordance, or show any consideration to the "you gotta know the Hebrew/Greek" perspective, or does KJV English provide all the Truth I'll need to know? Thanks.

The King James Authorized Version ©1611 is not only as good as the original Greek and Hebrew, it is better!

There are three "translations" spoken of in the Bible. In all three cases, the translation referred to is better than the original. Since we accept the Bible as our final authority in all matters of faith and practice, the Bible's "practice" will have more authority than any "mere human" opinion.

The first "translation" found in Scripture is found in II Samuel 3:7-10:

And Saul had a concubine, whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah: and Ishbosheth said to Abner, Wherefore hast thou gone in unto my father's concubine? Then was Abner very wroth for the words of Ishbosheth, and said, Am I a dog's head, which against Judah do shew kindness this day unto the house of Saul thy father, to his brethren, and to his friends, and have not delivered thee into the hand of David, that thou chargest me to day with a fault concerning this woman?
So do God to Abner, and more also, except, as the LORD hath sworn to David, even so I do to him;
To translate the kingdom from the house of Saul, and to set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beersheba.

After the death of King Saul in I Samuel 31, Abner, who had been the captain of Saul's army installed Ishbosheth as King instead of David (II Samuel 12:8,9). Later Ishbosheth and Abner had a falling out. Abner, in anger, announces to Ishbosheth that he is going to "translate" the Kingdom of Israel from Ishbosheth to David.

It is obvious by Abner's statement of II Samuel 3:9 that the LORD wanted David to be king over all twelve tribes of Israel. Therefore, the "translation" of the kingdom of Israel to David was BETTER than the "original" state which has a split kingdom with David rightly ruling over one portion and Ishbosheth wrongly ruling over the other section.

The second "translation" found in Scripture is found in Colossians 1:13:

Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son:

Here the "translation" spoken of is the conversion of a lost sinner to a new life in Jesus Christ. No one in their right mind could even pretend that this translation is not a massive improvement over the "original" condition.

The third "translation" found in Scripture is found in Hebrews 11:5:

By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him: for before his translation he had this testimony, that he pleased God.

The word "translate" only appears five times in scripture. Once in II Samuel, once in Colossians and the remaining three times here in Hebrews 11:5.

A Christian with even a shallow knowledge of the Bible is familiar with the story of Enoch from Genesis 5. Enoch walked with God and is known to have pleased God. He was a prophet (Judges 14) and a man of faith. God saw fit to physically take Enoch to Heaven so that he would not have to experience death. This individual action is a miniature version of what Christians call "The Rapture," mentioned in I Corinthians 15, I Thessalonians 4, Titus 2 and various other places in the Bible. Since the word "Rapture" appears nowhere in Scripture, a more proper name for this future occurrence might be "The Blessed Hope" (Titus) or "The Catching Up" (I Thessalonians) of "Our Translation" (Hebrews).

It is obvious that Enoch's translation was an improvement over his original condition.

Thus we see that every "translation" in our final authority on all matters is an improvement over the original.

If you are a simple Bible believer you will have no trouble accepting this. If you worship education or just hate to be wrong, you will reject this Bible Fact as easily as you have rejected every Bible Fact that you couldn't agree with.

Now which will you follow son, the Bible or men?

[Attila's Wife]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

I'm not telling you my real name! I've heard terrible stories about Christian Voodoo and real name and all that.

I never heard such nonsense! If you will not provide us with your name then I shall call you Susan as somehow I doubt that you are what you say you are. Anyone can be a 45-year-old man on the internet (though why they would want to be is a question for psychologists).

So, hello Susan dear, and a cautious welcome. Are you married? How many children have you given your husband? Do you have his permission to post here?

As to the rest, I can only reiterate what Didymus said: 1) calm down, even though time is short for you and 2) read the KJV (1611) from cover to cover, consulting Brother V's very excellent Bible in a Year. Let us hope that you have that long.

And finally, a brief reminder - never forget Psalm 1:1

Blessed is the man
That walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor standeth in the way of sinners,
Nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.



YiC
AW

[Steph Leia]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you screwed the pooch with this one. Sorry, your sins will not be forgiven. Your ticket to the hell train is as good as bought and paid for.

It is still possible that his sons might be forgiven. Matthew 18:21-22 offers some last ray of hope for him, unless of course his sins already have gone over seventy times seven. If s/he decides to there is some last chance, no?

[Jedediah]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

It is still possible that his sons might be forgiven. Matthew 18:21-22 offers some last ray of hope for him, unless of course his sins already have gone over seventy times seven. If s/he decides to there is some last chance, no?

What part of "whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him" is unclear to you?

Robbery, raping children, murder, various perversions - those things are all forgivable. Jesus shed His Precious Blood so that they could be. All you have to do is sincerely ask and turn your life over to Him. But denying the Holy Ghost is the one sin which Jesus will not forgive.

[The Nephilimiest]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

... denying the Holy Ghost is the one sin which Jesus will not forgive.

Damn right.

[The Nephilimiest]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

In an effort to get right, and in now way having been influenced (dare I say COMPELLED?!?!) by a very scary private message from a True Christian, I will submit to the wishes of the governing body of this forum and give my true name as Bartholmew.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: I've Fallen and I can't get up!

In an effort to get right, and in now way having been influenced (dare I say COMPELLED?!?!) by a very scary private message from a True Christian, I will submit to the wishes of the governing body of this forum and give my true name as Bartholmew.

Really? Do you want to reconsider the spelling of that? It is a rare fool who cannot spell her own name on the internets.

Proverbs 6:16-19

These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.