Hello.

[ScotJim]

Hello there, I am a 22 year old musician from the UK who is very excited to be able to interact with other enlightened persons .

Being from a small town my parents were very strict that I be taught the great King James Bible at home as there were no true places of worship in our vicinity. This has lead to me being very outcast in social situations with people my own age growing up, as we seemed to be the only non-heathen scum in our town!

So you can imagine my delight when I found this wonderful gathering of saved souls that I can finally share my love of Jesus with without being ridiculed, harassed or beaten!

I am supposed to put my favourite KJV passage here so here is mine:

John 1:3

All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

I feel this best sums up the truly staggeringly divinity of our creator!

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy worship to read this


YIC

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Hello.

Welcome Jim
How many sons have issued from your loins?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello.

It's a fine verse you have chosen, Jim Bob, filled with deep meaning and significance.


Tell us more. What armaments are you allowed in godless England? Are you in contact with other believers?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello.

Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum. Which Church do you play organ in? Please tell us about how you came to find Jesus in the godless land of Scotland.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Hello.

Welcome! There are several notable, wonderful True Christians on these forums from England and other parts of godless Europe! It would be wonderful that you got to meet them on your planet, or even better move to the USA and become a conservative American, fighting for a Biblical America!

[ScotJim]

Re: Hello.

I have rejoiced at such a wonderful reception of this community. Unfortunately the lack of True Christians in my area has lead me to leading a solitary life as of yet and I have not found a suitable woman to bear my children. I would rather walk barefoot through the flames of hell themselves than give Gods precious seed to one of the wretched whores that frequent my area!

Alas we have no Church nearby so I cannot play the organ which would be an amazing opportunity! But I play the acoustic guitar so I can always herald the heretics and sinners with tales of His love and grace, wherever I may be.

Yes you see I am working a lowly job at the moment to fund my life in moving to the Great USA and walk in the light with other, true Christians; far away from the wretched black stain of my hometown.

YIC

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hello.

Yes you see I am working a lowly job at the moment to fund my life in moving to the Great USA and walk in the light with other, true Christians; far away from the wretched black stain of my hometown.

Do you live in Edinburgh then, Jim? It's not called Auld Reekie for nothing, is it!

Sister Naomi Ruth is always looking for strapping young men to attend to her pie business and may be able to help in getting you a Green Card, if you prove suitable. I'm sure she'd appreciate a Godly young musician. Perhaps you could even write the jingles for her TV advertising campaign. Her pies certainly fall into the category of what Psalm 105:2 calls His wondrous works.

Cordially yours in Faith,
Joanna

[ScotJim]

Re: Hello.

Do you live in Edinburgh then, Jim? It's not called Auld Reekie for nothing is it!

I do indeed, my shame of being native to such a Godless land led me to try and refrain from illuminating this fact but alas I am a proud servant of the Almighty and will break the rotten bonds of this forsaken place and fly to the promised land.

I am fit and able and ready to do God's will at a moments notice. Please tell me more of this pie business, what work would be entailed?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hello.

You might ask on this thread, where Sister Naomi mentions management positions in her first post.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello.

Jim, you ought not feel totally defeated by life due to your unfortunate locality. It is not your fault that you were born far from Godly America. I know that you, as a Scot yourself, will know that all God fearing Scots have long since come to America, which explains the heathenish atmosphere you are forced to endure. That coming condition is what caused my own Scottish ancestors to come to America.

Yes, Jim, I am partly Scot myself, though the title here is an honorable one (note the lack of excessive use of the letter "U"). Here we are known as the bulwark of Christianity and bask in the love of other Christians. We do not tolerate the godless English here, save the refugees who throw themselves on our shores, or more correctly, those who can get past the Mexicans.

I urge you to come to America as soon as possible. There will be no difficulty in getting in. In fact, the easiest place to get in is actually Godly Texas. You must go through Mexico and swim or wade the Rio Grande River to get here. Tell the Border Patrol that you are a Mexican and they will let you go on your promise to show up for your immigration hearing in about eight years. By then, they will have forgotten you and you will know how to speak proper American. Other than your probabal speech impediments, you are likely well disguised as an American already.

That is my advice.

God Bless!