[BrotherLarry]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Dear Santa:
I see your sleigh on the building down the street so I know you haven't got here yet. There is still time to leave me a few more small trinkets to show that you are real and care about me.


1. When I was 7, I asked you for something that you didn't bring. It was long, made noise when you turned it on, and I could play with it for hours. You should know what it is.
2. At the age of 8, you promised to bring me this cylindrical object that would take me to the moon and back. Instead, you brought me a plastic Jeep and the tires fell off after just a few uses.
5. The Etch a Sketch also broke when Sister Irene Peter threw it out the classroom window during Catechism class. I wouldn't mind a replacement; I could use it to take notes in my PhD program.


I left the Jaeger and Red Bull as you requested but please don't drive drunk. I will be sleeping in my bed just down the hallway to the left. Alone, defenseless, and vulnerable.


Merry Merry Christmas, you Jolly Old Elf!
LarBear

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Dear Santa:
I see your sleigh on the building down the street so I know you haven't got here yet. There is still time to leave me a few more small trinkets to show that you are real and care about me.

1. When I was 7, I asked you for something that you didn't bring. It was long, made noise when you turned it on, and I could play with it for hours. You should know what it is.
2. At the age of 8, you promised to bring me this cylindrical object that would take me to the moon and back. Instead, you brought me a plastic Jeep and the tires fell off after just a few uses.
5. The Etch a Sketch also broke when Sister Irene Peter threw it out the classroom window during Catechism class. I wouldn't mind a replacement; I could use it to take notes in my PhD program.

I left the Jaeger and Red Bull as you requested but please don't drive drunk. I will be sleeping in my bed just down the hallway to the left. Alone, defenseless, and vulnerable.

Merry Merry Christmas, you Jolly Old Elf!
LarBear

Pony Boy!

It has come to my attention that - unlike I thought previously - the thing that you are referring to and that everybody seems to want is actually not a small village in Newfoundland but a motorized plastic object. Thus, it would indeed have been within my expertise!

As it turned out, your Pastor Zekie-Diekie, that darling boy requested seven times seventy for his basic biblical anatomy class and I am out of stock. I am sure that if you ask your pastor, he'll deliver.

I'm off to vacation soon! Be nice! Ho ho ho!

[Roland]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

[...]
Ronnie, my boy! You already have the eye patch. Did you receive the wonderful pasta dough necklace that I just delivered? You love it, don't you! I'll be with you always, even unto the end of the world. You don't have to be A-men, I also deliver to B-men! Ho ho ho!



[...]

Hello Santa,

I am glad you also serve the other -men. I must confess though that I am quite a bit down the list, to the point where two letters are needed.

I do like pasta and I like the pretty colours! Then I noticed the eyes and realized these are actually Danger Noodles. I submit that they serve their purpose in this world (and sometimes not) but I´dd rather keep them at some distance.



Kind regards,

Roland

[BrotherLarry]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Pony Boy!

It has come to my attention that - unlike I thought previously - the thing that you are referring to and that everybody seems to want is actually not a small village in Newfoundland but a motorized plastic object. Thus, it would indeed have been within my expertise!

As it turned out, your Pastor Zekie-Diekie, that darling boy requested seven times seventy for his basic biblical anatomy class and I am out of stock. I am sure that if you ask your pastor, he'll deliver.

I'm off to vacation soon! Be nice! Ho ho ho!

I think the Jaeger went to your brain, old man. I wanted an electric train, a space ship, and a replacement etch a sketch. Instead, under my tree, I have some plastic horse teeth, a my little pony, and a 7 pack of Hanes briefs. I am relying on Jesus from this point forward.

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Hello Santa,

I am glad you also serve the other -men. I must confess though that I am quite a bit down the list, to the point where two letters are needed.

I do like pasta and I like the pretty colours! Then I noticed the eyes and realized these are actually Danger Noodles. I submit that they serve their purpose in this world (and sometimes not) but I´dd rather keep them at some distance.

Kind regards,

Roland

I think the Jaeger went to your brain, old man. I wanted an electric train, a space ship, and a replacement etch a sketch. Instead, under my tree, I have some plastic horse teeth, a my little pony, and a 7 pack of Hanes briefs. I am relying on Jesus from this point forward.

This is an automated reply. Santa is on vacation until December 1 2017. Regarding customer complaints and returns, Santa is proud to introduce a 'goodwill' returns policy, especially at Christmas. All properly filled complaint forms can and will be assessed if returned in person to the North Pole Central office by 2 January 2017. Only personally signed petitions in triplicate will be considered.

Santa thanks all participants of this forum for their interest is his policy of good delivery and he's looking forward to meeting you all again next year.