[AndreaAnn]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Dear Santa:

My only wish this coming Christmas is to have a wonderful and happy life. Im hoping to have someone whom I can love for the rest of my life. Is someone available out there, I'm looking forward to meet you.

Thank you Santa, I hope you can find one for me.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Dear Santa:

My only wish this coming Christmas is to have a wonderful and happy life. Im hoping to have someone whom I can love for the rest of my life. Is someone available out there, I'm looking forward to meet you.

Thank you Santa, I hope you can find one for me.

HO! Dear Andrea! I do remember you (I remember everybody) but I have to admit that my memory is not quite as good as it used to be in the 1920's or thereabouts. Were you the one who was actually not born a woman? But you are a sweet, sweet girl now. Let's look at at your wishes! You want me to give you a person...

...Please, you should realize that I don't deliver people. Nor do I deliver wisdom, intelligence or peace of mind. You must ask the Jesus guy for those. I deliver goods...

Keeping that in mind, feel free to ask me anything. Ho Ho Ho.

I do wish that you would have read the actual opening post but as I am more forgiving than the Jesus guy (who's gonna deliver 99% of your lot into his Hell), I'll see what I can do. I have donated in your name a substantial amount of money to Shark Advocates International for the protection of the Greenland shark. They live up to 512 years so the recipient of this donation will survive you by many centuries and you can love it for the rest of your life. A Greenland shark looks like this:



As a special friendly benefit, here's a stuffed toy model for you to cuddle in the decades to come.



Btw, I am pleased that this year I am much more popular than Jesus! Ho ho ho to that!

[Walter Van Slyke]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Keeping that in mind, feel free to ask me anything. Ho Ho Ho.

I would like you to just go away. Christian children should go to bed on Christmas eve thinking about the gifts of Holy Spirit made possible by the blood of Jesus, not disposable junk supposedly made by deformed, enslaved humans that was in reality purchased at Walmart.


Also, I'd like a wife. You know the requirements. I send them every year and you ignore me.


Humbly,


Wally

[handmaiden]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

512 YEARS! Nuh-uh, not possible. Who would be silly enough to believe that something could live that long?

[Santa Claus]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

I would like you to just go away. Christian children should go to bed on Christmas eve thinking about the gifts of Holy Spirit made possible by the blood of Jesus, not disposable junk supposedly made by deformed, enslaved humans that was in reality purchased at Walmart.

Also, I'd like a wife. You know the requirements. I send them every year and you ignore me.

Humbly,

Wally

Aren't you cute when you have a tantrum! Of course, that is a bit naughty and must be taken into consideration when deciding upon your presents! If you had not cherry-picked my opening statement you would have been able to read this.

...Please, you should realize that I don't deliver people. Nor do I deliver wisdom, intelligence or peace of mind. You must ask the Jesus guy for those. I deliver goods...

Keeping that in mind, feel free to ask me anything. Ho Ho Ho.

OK. Your first request. No. I am sorry but I am here to stay as long as people teach their kids to covet riches on Earth. If you, my Wally-Dolly, had even as much faith as a hot dog with mustard and sesame seeds, you'd be able to enjoy the anticipation of uncovering a package to see if the next action figure is among the shiny paper shards and glitter. If you had become a grown-up, you'd be able to immerse in the joy of the children and their anticipation.

I know your list of requirements. Obedient, good cook, hard-working, humble, taciturn, house-trained. You want a wife but what you need is as follows:



Ho.

[Santa Claus]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

512 YEARS! Nuh-uh, not possible. Who would be silly enough to believe that something could live that long?

My Handmädchen! When did you become so rational? You shold remember that both I and my good friend the Greenland shark are much better documented than the boy Yeshua who went a bit amok (because we didn't have any plastic action figures back then to soothe him). To remind you of your happy and irrational past I'm gonna send you one of the bottles below. It's the one that reminds you of unnaturally long lives.



Ho! Can you guess which one it is?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Originally Posted by Santa Claus

Originally Posted by Walter Van Slyke

Previous Specification by Walter Van Slyke
taciturn

Ho

I think you have misunderstood his requirements.
Proverbs 27:15

[Santa Claus]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

I think you have misunderstood his requirements.
Proverbs 27:15

Dear Mitza, my cute lizardlord! I deliver what people need, not what they think they want. At this very moment, considering your obsession with verses, you need to know more about droppings, so I'll deliver you this nice and free guide on diverse droppings. You'll love it as much as you Love me and Fear the Jesus dude. Ho! I am sizzling hot today with my quick wit and compassion!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Ho Ho Ho!

It's December 2017 and I'm on duty! How great is that? It's overcast here in my North Pole Headquarters but we're hoping to admire some stars later on! Things are not very good over here. Sea ice is disappearing every year. You might have heard how my favorite animal friends are starving.

I know that you have a lot of wishes for this Christmas! Ask me anything and I'll deliver something! It is not always what you want but what you need! I know that in this nice community most of the spinsters and a surprisingly high number of bachelors are asking for a man in their lives. Similarly, a few bachelors and quite many spinsters are requesting that I deliver a bride. Please, you should realize that I don't deliver people. Nor do I deliver wisdom, intelligence or peace of mind. You must ask the Jesus guy for those. I deliver goods. Jesus, incidentally, will get some appropriate toiletries with frankincense scent!



Keeping that in mind, feel free to ask me anything. Ho Ho Ho.

Nice to finally talk to you (finally).

I’m sure you remember me as I wrote quite a few (unanswered) letters in my youth.

What I would really like is seven (one for each angle) Notebook HD Hidden Cameras w/ Night Vision & 2 Year Battery.

And something for my clean limbed young nephew (He-Man figures or something) who will be staying in the annex over Christmas (his mum has been having difficulties with him again).

YIC

[handmaiden]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

My Handmädchen! When did you become so rational? You shold remember that both I and my good friend the Greenland shark are much better documented than the boy Yeshua who went a bit amok (because we didn't have any plastic action figures back then to soothe him). To remind you of your happy and irrational past I'm gonna send you one of the bottles below. It's the one that reminds you of unnaturally long lives.



Ho! Can you guess which one it is?

Hmph! Never mind the size, what's in the bottles? I can't read the labels.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Dear Mitza, my cute lizardlord! I deliver what people need, not what they think they want. At this very moment, considering your obsession with verses, you need to know more about droppings etc.

It is not for me to call myself compassionate, others may notice the quality if it's present at all, but I'm happy to say that I'm not obsessive. I am familiar with otter spraints, however, and everyone can recognise fox. Sensory field profiling includes olfactory elements layered like clothing, which may be tailored as actual clothes are to individual requirements. Otter can be quite pleasant, for example. Raw fish less so. Smell archives exist, too. Listen from 8:39 Later in the segment someone wants to bottle various smells and combine them into fragrances. I believe it's an Icelandic/Norwegian joint effort. Are you familiar with the research? Otter was not mentioned.

from 12:54

You can put on a smell if it's about carrying a smell that tells the surrounding world, "Leave me alone." I just launched a product in Germany, it's like one smell is like: "Come to me," the other one's like, "Leave. Me. Alone." and one's like, "Listen to me." And we're testing it with some substantial testing, multicultural, and it's incredible. So you have ladies, with their Harris bag, putting on the smell "Leave me alone." They're standing around, literally have a one-and-a-half metre free zone just like enjoying other people and (suffering small talk) [interrupted]

So tell me, I have to explore this, what does "Leave me alone" smell like?

contunue listening at 13:37

Perhaps there will be some gift ideas in there for you?

http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/drawingroom/making-sense-of-scents/9259916

[Santa Claus]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Nice to finally talk to you (finally).

I’m sure you remember me as I wrote quite a few (unanswered) letters in my youth.

What I would really like is seven (one for each angle) Notebook HD Hidden Cameras w/ Night Vision & 2 Year Battery.

And something for my clean limbed young nephew (He-Man figures or something) who will be staying in the annex over Christmas (his mum has been having difficulties with him again).

YIC

Nilesy my boy! Of course! For your peeping or whatever you kids call the spy stuff these days, I've got just the jolly nice and utterly fun-filled plastic package just for you.



As an extra bonus, you'll receive this nice toy of the Masters of the Universities of whatever action figurines.



I'd say "Ho" old chap!

[Santa Claus]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Hmph! Never mind the size, what's in the bottles? I can't read the labels.

There you go!



Don't use this again to fry off the wings of flies or set shards of that Bible Book to fire. I trust you this time, Handels-Dandels. Be a good girl and I'll see you in a day or so, or at least your stockings and, please, try to wash them this time. Mrs Santa did not appreciate the organic stains that were very hard to remove after the contamination from your household.
Ho!

[Santa Claus]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

It is not for me to call myself compassionate, others may notice the quality if it's present at all, but I'm happy to say that I'm not obsessive. I am familiar with otter spraints, however, and everyone can recognise fox. Sensory field profiling includes olfactory elements layered like clothing, which may be tailored as actual clothes are to individual requirements. Otter can be quite pleasant, for example. Raw fish less so. Smell archives exist, too. Listen from 8:39 Later in the segment someone wants to bottle various smells and combine them into fragrances. I believe it's an Icelandic/Norwegian joint effort. Are you familiar with the research? Otter was not mentioned.

Perhaps there will be some gift ideas in there for you?

http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/drawingroom/making-sense-of-scents/9259916

OK, Mitza-baby! I didn't get half of that so Norwegian brown cheese it is for you and it is smelly, I presume. Ho?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Christmas Wish List 2017 - Ask Santa!

Nilesy my boy! Of course! For your peeping or whatever you kids call the spy stuff these days, I've got just the jolly nice and utterly fun-filled plastic package just for you.



As an extra bonus, you'll receive this nice toy of the Masters of the Universities of whatever action figurines.



I'd say "Ho" old chap!

Doesn’ really compare with Jesus’ gift of ever lasting life.



YIC