[Dennis Lukes]

Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

Santa, I have a gift request: can 2020 be the year NORAD finally wises up and uses a Stinger missile to knock a certain sleigh-flying communist out of the sky to his bloody DEATH and ETERNAL DAMNATION?

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

A 'Lane Bryant' Catalog.

I'll be swinging by the feed store to get you some warfin cookies.

Cookies! Ho ho ho but please don't misread 'warf' for 'warfarin' this time. Rudolf's internal bleeding the last time was so severe that we almost roasted him. Fortunately, he recovered and we stewed Nigel and Rover instead. Btw, does anyone fancy frozen cassowary? We do have a surplus due to recent debacles. Ho.

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

Ho, please be reminded that I do not deliver people or abstract concepts ("love", "peace of mind", etc.).

Santa, I have a gift request: can 2020 be the year NORAD finally wises up and uses a Stinger missile to knock a certain sleigh-flying communist out of the sky to his bloody DEATH and ETERNAL DAMNATION?

Dennis Darling! Ho to you! "Wising up" is an abstraction and thus excluded from the list of potential gifts. Does it come in genuine plastic? It doesn't and that's why the Pope still lack all charisma and Slovenian top models still marry for money and not for love.

That said, you do deserve some gifts based on what you need. You'll just love this oyster mushroom growing kit in rainbow colors. And if you continue to be nice in 2021, I just might deliver a Blue Oyster one next year! How awesome is that.



And to supplement that fabulous gift, here's something in plastic! Tunnels to insert gerbils and hamsters.



This will give you hours and hours on incomparable FUN! I'm on top of the world this year, aren't I! In fact, I'm there all the time (the North Pole, you know). Ho for now. See you soon!

[James Hutchins]

Re: ASK SANTA - THE 2020 GIFT REGISTRY!

Cookies! Ho ho ho but please don't misread 'warf' for 'warfarin' this time. Rudolf's internal bleeding the last time was so severe that we almost roasted him. Fortunately, he recovered and we stewed Nigel and Rover instead. Btw, does anyone fancy frozen cassowary? We do have a surplus due to recent debacles. Ho.

No need for the winter whites this year.