Ask Jesus 2025

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Jesus H. Christ! Demons are rampaging on this Forum, including Satan Claus! Do I have to do everything around here! OK, it's Christmas time and my Pal Jesus is about to celebrate His B-day. I'm plannin a big banquet with my 14-yo FIlipino houseboys (new batch) with all kinds of activities, some of them including strenous exercise.

But Christmas is about JESUS for His sake. He's promised to answer all our questions once more on His birthday, so keep 'em questions a-comin', my flock! I'll ask the first one: When will my people get a hold of themselves and BUY ME MY JET? Just asking, my friend. See you soon in Heaven!

YIC
Zeke

[MitzaLizalor]

Sadly the 6 engined (is that the right expression?) anyway they had six engines each and there were two of them, got disintegrated I gather mostly by melting.

There was room inside for a good-sized helicopter and something special in the way of décor, carpets, triplex apartments, every accoutrement needed for witnessing to heathen potentates, all gone. In the coming months perhaps something even better will become available. I gather some well rapid designs are just waiting for the first customers and what better way to bring savage chieftains to their knees, acknowledging Christ, than a really super-fast model on the runway.

.

Haggai 2:19

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

Dear Jesus, will you rebuke all those who may or may not have given me oral cancer (and cure the cancer, merci beaucoup?)

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

The raging debate about whether President Trump is going to heaven is driving me nuts. Can Jesus definitively answer this in the affirmative, once and for all. We can't function as a country until this is settled.

[Prayer Warrior]

Dear Jesus,

I'm thankful for another wonderful year, but something stuck out to me as a stain on what would have been an otherwise fantastic year. As nice as it must be for those Heaven, I'm still saddened that Charlie Kirk is no longer with us on Earth to take care of his kids, give us podcasts, and most importantly, own the libs.

I understand with Your hectic back-to-back streaming schedule, You won't take time out of Your busy day for every school child that's gunned down, but I'm wondering why someone of Charlie Kirk's stature didn't receive some intervention.

Why wasn't the bullet that took Charlie Kirk's life safely guided into someone less important, such as a firefighter, as it was for Trump?

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Dear Baby Jesus,
can you help me finding some good ol' DVD of the oldest Sandokan series?

[Isabella White]

Dear Sweet Jesus: Might I persuade you to banish SATAN Claus from this blessed forum? Surely, You can see how he is forever infiltrating and attempting to disrupt the holiness that so many people enjoy from being washed in Your own dear ! And may I once again give thanks and praise to You for the beautiful gift of the crown that I enjoy so very much. Bless You, Dear!

Revelation 2:10 "Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days: be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life."

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Why you still want to look like the Queen of the Perfidious Albion?

[Prayer Warrior]

Happy Birthday Jesus!!

I hope this is Your best birthday yet out of Your more than 2,000 previous ones!

[Jesus]

Bless me!

However, not sure if I should bless anyone else. Where are the B-day wishes? I can see only one.

And that fills me with WRATH!



The only good thing about this Christmas is watching Hallmark movies. Aren't they great? Despite my omniscience I'd disregarded them and mostly watched Satan torturing sinners in Hell. Great entertainment also, of course. But the Hallmark movies are of another class. The plots are so surprising. Imagine this: an uppity career woman has to leave the city for a business appointment in her small hometown. She meets her highschool sweetheart and despite all odds they fall in love and find a meaning for Christmas (unfortunately, they haven't asked for cameos yet, but I'm hoping next year). Great stuff. OK, let's see your questions...

Jesus H. Christ! Demons are rampaging on this Forum, including Satan Claus! Do I have to do everything around here! OK, it's Christmas time and my Pal Jesus is about to celebrate His B-day. I'm plannin a big banquet with my 14-yo FIlipino houseboys (new batch) with all kinds of activities, some of them including strenous exercise.

But Christmas is about JESUS for His sake. He's promised to answer all our questions once more on His birthday, so keep 'em questions a-comin', my flock! I'll ask the first one: When will my people get a hold of themselves and BUY ME MY JET? Just asking, my friend. See you soon in Heaven!

YIC
Zeke

OK, Zeke. Love you etc. However, regarding the arrival of your private jet, that day, year and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Daddy only. That said, I know the month and it's gonna be an October.

[Jesus]

Sadly the 6 engined (is that the right expression?) anyway they had six engines each and there were two of them, got disintegrated I gather mostly by melting.

There was room inside for a good-sized helicopter and something special in the way of décor, carpets, triplex apartments, every accoutrement needed for witnessing to heathen potentates, all gone. In the coming months perhaps something even better will become available. I gather some well rapid designs are just waiting for the first customers and what better way to bring savage chieftains to their knees, acknowledging Christ, than a really super-fast model on the runway.

.

Haggai 2:19

Yes, that is the right expression.

[Jesus]

Dear Jesus, will you rebuke all those who may or may not have given me oral cancer (and cure the cancer, merci beaucoup?)

Yes I will but that day, year and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Daddy only. However, I'm going to rebuke them in the month of Aprille.

[Jesus]

The raging debate about whether President Trump is going to heaven is driving me nuts. Can Jesus definitively answer this in the affirmative, once and for all. We can't function as a country until this is settled.

Yes, I can.

[Jesus]

Dear Jesus,

I'm thankful for another wonderful year, but something stuck out to me as a stain on what would have been an otherwise fantastic year. As nice as it must be for those Heaven, I'm still saddened that Charlie Kirk is no longer with us on Earth to take care of his kids, give us podcasts, and most importantly, own the libs.

I understand with Your hectic back-to-back streaming schedule, You won't take time out of Your busy day for every school child that's gunned down, but I'm wondering why someone of Charlie Kirk's stature didn't receive some intervention.

Why wasn't the bullet that took Charlie Kirk's life safely guided into someone less important, such as a firefighter, as it was for Trump?

Charlie Kirk was the less important. Young Nigel Caspian O'Leary was nearby and he'll grow up to be a defender of Faith.

[Jesus]

Dear Baby Jesus,
can you help me finding some good ol' DVD of the oldest Sandokan series?

Yes, I can.