[BrotherLarry]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Of course not, Brother Hammer. I can assure you that my sister isn't damaged goods. Even with Esther's teaching, Michel isn't a very good cook. Her suitor ended the courtship because he found a younger woman who is a much better cook.

Brother Samuel,

I was wondering if you might share a photograph of your sister. The cooking part doesn't bother me a lot, because NY City is full of restaurants, some of them owned by Christians and staffed with Christian women. Most of them are not, so one has to be cautious what anti-American cause you might be supporting with your patronage.

But anyway, if I could just see if this sister of yours is worth my time, I'd appreciate it. I am so sick of Christian Mingle, where many of the users are either papist or some whacko Pentecostal with hair to the floor and no teeth. I am still not recovered fully from the date I had with this psycho called Miranda. Her ad read like this:

Dedicated to the Lord and His service, I seek a man that is also dedicated to my Christ and Heavenly King. Let me show you what obedience is all about. I have whips and stones and a private area out back here in my Queens, NY home where I go for special times. Must be into discipline and treating me with the respect I deserve. No fatties.

Well, my heart leapt. A woman who is willing to accept my discipline, has her own menstra=hut (not something seen too often in NY City) and knows her place in the household while being obedient! When I arrived, she was wearing some kind of demonic leather outfit and had a whip in her hand. I assumed she had been naughty and sinful so I took the whip and started to spank her as the Lord would have us to do. She screamed at me to get out and that she would call the police if I didn't go immediately. Then she told me I was a "stupid idiot" who needed to "read between the lines."

I am not sure what all that was about, but wow, people sure lie a lot when they are looking for companionship.

COME, LORD JESUS,
BrotherLarry

[madchrischin]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Praise God! Samuel proposed last night! After dinner, I served Samuel some beef, pork, chicken, and bacon pie. He had two slices, then grabbed my wrist, looked me right in the eyes, and told me that I was going to marry him. All I could do was smile and nod my head.

I'm so happy to finally find a man who will take me off my father's hands, put up with me, and help me find Salvation!

If this is in the wrong section, I apologize and will ask Samuel to punish me in an appropriate manner.

This is you and your husband in the future

really who gives a fuck

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: I'm Engaged!

I have always wondered about "Michel". No offense, but why does she have a French man's name?

It was a typo. Her name was supposed to be Michal, after Saul's daughter (and it ended in an "l" like my brother's and my names), but the stupid midwife misspelled it.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Of course not, Brother Hammer. I can assure you that my sister isn't damaged goods. Even with Esther's teaching, Michel isn't a very good cook. Her suitor ended the courtship because he found a younger woman who is a much better cook.

I have always wondered about "Michel". No offense, but why does she have a French man's name?

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: I'm Engaged!

What's wrong with her? Damaged goods?

Of course not, Brother Hammer. I can assure you that my sister isn't damaged goods. Even with Esther's teaching, Michel isn't a very good cook. Her suitor ended the courtship because he found a younger woman who is a much better cook.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Brother Larry, I am the only single lady in my family, as there is a young man who is interested in my younger sister. However, Samuel's sister's suitor recently ended his courtship with her and she is now single again. If you would like, I will tell Samuel that you are looking for a wife and suggest that he tell his father and sister about you. In the meantime, I will definitely be praying for you to find a Godly and obedient wife.

What's wrong with her? Damaged goods?

[Esther B.]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Sister Esther,
I hope your husband won't mind my addressing you directly. I was wondering if you are the only single lady in your family. You see, I am hard pressed to find a Godly wife in this town of sin and degradation. Even at my church I see ladies claiming salvation but embracing sin each Saturday down at the pool halls and taverns that are found all over NY City.

I am a good man, humble and dedicated to serving our Lord. Yes, I am sometimes at a loss for the proper wordological thing to say, but I mean well.
I seek your prayers that the Lord will bless me with a mate soon. Your husband to be seems like a really fine man. If he were with me right now I would lay hands on him and pray for Jesus to bless him for all his days.

COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

Brother Larry, I am the only single lady in my family, as there is a young man who is interested in my younger sister. However, Samuel's sister's suitor recently ended his courtship with her and she is now single again. If you would like, I will tell Samuel that you are looking for a wife and suggest that he tell his father and sister about you. In the meantime, I will definitely be praying for you to find a Godly and obedient wife.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Sister Esther,
I hope your husband won't mind my addressing you directly. I was wondering if you are the only single lady in your family. You see, I am hard pressed to find a Godly wife in this town of sin and degradation. Even at my church I see ladies claiming salvation but embracing sin each Saturday down at the pool halls and taverns that are found all over NY City.

I am a good man, humble and dedicated to serving our Lord. Yes, I am sometimes at a loss for the proper wordological thing to say, but I mean well.
I seek your prayers that the Lord will bless me with a mate soon. Your husband to be seems like a really fine man. If he were with me right now I would lay hands on him and pray for Jesus to bless him for all his days.

COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[Esther B.]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Thank you, Ms. Johnson!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Don't get carried away now....

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: I'm Engaged!

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Congratulations to your soon to be (perhaps) husband on setting the wheels in motion for your nuptials. May he sire many males and may he grow strong in the Lord all his days. May God richly bless him with wisdom so that his discipline is righteous in the eyes of Jesus, and may he find comfort in the realization that he has found a help meet, someone to do his bidding and raise his children in the way that God would have them be raised.

I am wondering if someone younger might have been more appropriate for him but I suppose you'll do, Esther - if he wants an older woman that is his business and not mine. Men, should we speak to him about it?

Thank you, brother! If it was possible, I would have picked someone younger, but there aren't any available females of childbearing age who are younger than Esther. She is an excellent cook, a good teacher (just to my sister), and she has done a lovely job repairing my clothes that my mother and sister never got around to working on. Those factors, combined with her obedience, more than make up for the fact that a few of her childbearing years have been wasted. We will be married before the end of the year so we don't waste more of her childbearing years.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Congratulations to your soon to be (perhaps) husband on setting the wheels in motion for your nuptials. May he sire many males and may he grow strong in the Lord all his days. May God richly bless him with wisdom so that his discipline is righteous in the eyes of Jesus, and may he find comfort in the realization that he has found a help meet, someone to do his bidding and raise his children in the way that God would have them be raised.

I am wondering if someone younger might have been more appropriate for him but I suppose you'll do, Esther - if he wants an older woman that is his business and not mine. Men, should we speak to him about it?

[Esther B.]

Re: I'm Engaged!

Congratulations, Esther. I know that you and Samuel will be very happy!! Just make sure to obey and follow instructions to the letter, and all will be joyous.

I consider myself blessed by God that I have had the love, faithful obedience, and loyal companionship of my wife Delores for the past 43 years now.

Our marriage is pretty much like any other, as we have learned to not push too strongly in the areas that cause undo tension, and we give each other enough space to explore our own particular areas of interest that aren't shared equally. These days she mostly sticks to her wing of the house except while serving me breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I stick to mine. She is not allowed in the basement (believe me-- she won't dare make THAT mistake again!!), and I steer clear of her arts and crafts studio. (One of her hobbies is making crude primitive cloth dolls that bear my resemblance and burning or destroying them in a bubbling sulfuric acid bath while speaking in tongues-- see why I have no interest in her hobbies?).

Of course we attend church together every Sunday and Wednesday night Bible study, and she is often asked to attend my business-related social events around town. We also have a standing Thursday night dinner and Sunday after church meal at Olive Garden. We took a trip together to Omaha for two days in 2005 to attend a funeral. She is mostly responsible for communicating with the children as I don't particularly care for two out of three of them. She has a list of six approved friends who are allowed to visit her at home during appropriate hours that don't interfere with her wifely duties, but she has only invited two of them, and that was quite some time ago.

So again, congratulations, and I hope you two are every bit as happy as we are!!

Thank you, Brother! I hope that Samuel and I will be as happy as your and your wife.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm Engaged!

I'm not going to have lots of children right now just because you think that's ok, I want to have family, but in the right time and when I find the right man. And besides, that verse don't mentions women, it talks about being fruitful, not about if you're a woman you must marry quickly

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.