[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Amen and well said, friend. Thanks for the contribution.

May I suggest that you proceed over to the "introductions" section of this Godly forum and make a thread of your own? We'd like to get to know you, I'm sure.

[BunBoyUGK]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Below is a picture of me and my wife Queenie (I'm on the right):



Let me tell you, the secret to a good marriage is that you love your wife and be loyal to her. If she's loyal to you, that's the perfect marriage! (Sure works for me & Queenie)

[Roberta]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

How long ago did Queenie have her SRS? (S)he looks like a nice person.

Congratulations

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Below is a picture of me and my wife Queenie (I'm on the right):



Let me tell you, the secret to a good marriage is that you love your wife and be loyal to her. If she's loyal to you, that's the perfect marriage! (Sure works for me & Queenie)

You make a lovely couple.

Of junglebunnies.

[papparat]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Those about to wed, may benefit from the following sage advice:

[Rastus]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

[quote=BunBoyUGK;211222]Below is a picture of me and my wife Queenie (I'm on the right):





I'm glad you pointed out which one of you was pretending to be a man, since you dress like a girl and she? dresses like a man going out to a leather bar.

[Bob Kaare]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

I think I like the way you're wifes behave towards you

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Don't sleep in. We don't need no lazy slobs.

You are correct, Brother Nobar. And the Christian woman can practice faith-based dieting, which works better that heathen diets that are popular now. Amazon has a book called "Born Again Bodies" to help the heavy-set Christian gal to lose those extra pounds. Pat Robertson offers diet products here: http://www.patsshake.com/ (have your credit card handy). Naturally we would not endorse any such things -- and I think Pat Robertson is a little liberal -- but it's just evidence that there are resources out there for the Christian woman.

And don't forget Sister Heather Hardwick herself, who helps the Christian lady to orient herself Biblically here: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0201/heather.html.

If I ever were to get married (and I am trying real hard between my ministering to Russia's lost young men) I can assure you that I would have to insist that she not let herself go. The last girl I dated was a little too "buxom" for me. (Plus her dacha smelled like carp and I could smell it as we walked down the road. Who could kiss a woman like that? But I digress.)

[papparat]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

When she has finished dieting, she should attend her local Tattoo & Taco Establishment & have a Holy Verse put upon her by needles, to experience the Joy of Pain & for Her Husband to contemplate when practising Conjugal Rights, as per the Mem Sah'b has had done


Praise be He can recite out load from the script in front of him whilst practising procreation Shout Hallelujah !

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Below is a picture of me and my wife Queenie (I'm on the right):

Thank you for letting us know which one you were. I must admit I do have a hard time telling the groidesses from the groids sometimes.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Praise be He can recite out load from the script in front of him whilst practising procreation Shout Hallelujah !

Sweet Jesus in the morning! I had to wash my eyes out with vinegar after gazing upon that lovely being surprised by that revolting image!

To make matters worse, that whore has condemned herself to hell for having a FALSE VERSION cut into her flesh! This is how the KJV1611 Bible puts it. No porn involved, praise God.

1 Corinthians 13

13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
13:9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
13:10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
13:11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
13:12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

The KJV is the one true Bible! Accept no substitutes at tattoo parlours!!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Praise be He can recite out load from the script in front of him whilst practising procreation Shout Hallelujah !

I thought you folks frowned on doggy-style.

[papparat]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Not all are chosen to be Missionaries

[Nobar King]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

If you do choose to spit on Jesus and get your body covered with ink, make sure that you hire a tattoo artist who graduated from high school:

[papparat]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Well spotted, I couldn't squint too well to make it out clearly. Good show stout fellow of excellent repute

Gen.48

1. [10] Now the eyes of Israel were dim for age, so that he could not see. And he brought them near unto him; and he kissed them, and embraced them.