[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

If in doubt send JESUS an e-mail (prayer) HE is always "On-line".

[blonde]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Me too!

[Petal]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Me too!

why come you wants to make the innernets even worser than it already are, Miss.Blonde?

[ArthurFertford]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

A new wife should get accustomed to sleeping over the sink so that she is there to put the kettle on at a moment's notice. A man shouldn't have to come into the kitchen at any time apart from to make good Christian soldiers with his bride, preferably whilst she is making him a sandwich.

[The Disciple]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

I'm thinking about finding 10 concubines to care for my estate.

2Sam.15

1. [16] And the king went forth, and all his household after him. And the king left ten women, which were concubines, to keep the house.

[CallMeAWitchThen]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

7. If God had wanted women to lead, he would have made them 6'2" with commandingly loud, low-frequency voices and lots of muscle to deter any questions.


--Submitted by Mindlessly So

This disappoints me so much! I am a virgin and a lovely cook, yet God saw fit to make me such like a man as to make no man see me as fit, with musculature, height, and voice many women would be ashamed of!

Maybe I did something in a previous life...I swear I saw most of those words on my own wanted poster once.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

This disappoints me so much! I am a virgin and a lovely cook, yet God saw fit to make me such like a man as to make no man see me as fit, with musculature, height, and voice many women would be ashamed of!

Maybe I did something in a previous life...I swear I saw most of those words on my own wanted poster once.

A previous life?



Are you some kind of hindoo or something? They believe in that crap.



Nope, you only live once and you only die once (Hebrews 9:27, etc.). Stick with the Bible before you lose everything.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

4. Make sure that your decibel level when speaking is at least -6dB below that of your husband, father, brother, etc, unless you are praising the Lord or thanking the men for something.

-6dB ? .? ..? ...?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

This disappoints me so much! I am a virgin and a lovely cook, yet God saw fit to make me such like a man as to make no man see me as fit, with musculature, height, and voice many women would be ashamed of!

Maybe I did something in a previous life...I swear I saw most of those words on my own wanted poster once.

Are you trying to say you are a transexualist?



YIC

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

For the women who are too lazy (or stupid) to read - there is a handy, dandy instructional video.

Enjoy

[Primrose Dawn]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

This is hilarious!

"His topics of conversation are more important than yours."

In his dreams!

[Primrose Dawn]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

14. Keep your big mouth shut when he says! You must respect him by being quiet and not saying anything unnecessary

If only more women could follow this simple request!

I am tired of listening to pathetic women cry about being kept in line and/or being slapped by their husbands. It's simple ladies: Shut your mouth and get back in the kitchen. Your husband won't be forced to discipline you if you are busy doing what you were born to do!

LORD, you maketh me from ADAM'S RIB, I am blessed. Amen

Victoria,

I know you're speaking tongue in cheek, but it is unfortunate that women are sometimes abused like this; it's not a laughing matter. I knew a woman that was slapped for using too much salt in a dish she had worked on for her boyfriend's birthday. This guy just needed mental help.

The first man that ever laid a hand on me better have a good lawyer and bond money. Actually, he better be able to counteract my karate kicks.

Prim

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

Victoria,

I know you're speaking tongue in cheek, but it is unfortunate that women are sometimes abused like this; it's not a laughing matter. I knew a woman that was slapped for using too much salt in a dish she had worked on for her boyfriend's birthday. This guy just needed mental help.

The first man that ever laid a hand on me better have a good lawyer and bond money. Actually, he better be able to counteract my karate kicks.

Prim

It's women like you who give Christian women a bad name.

Why, I bet you even use frozen orange juice and store bought pie crusts.

[Attila's Wife]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

It's women like you who give Christian women a bad name.

Amen, Sister!

Primrose Dawn, why do you have your fingers in your ears?

[Primrose Dawn]

Re: Handy Tips for New Wives

It's women like you who give Christian women a bad name.

Why, I bet you even use frozen orange juice and store bought pie crusts.

Actually, I make fresh squeezed every work day before I head to my office. As for pie crusts, I can make them from scratch without a recipe. Why would you be so catty? I did nothing to you. Again: "Water off a duck's back, water off a duck's back, These words bring all that your words lack. When those on earth would push and shove, Jesus brings His peace and love."