[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Is the list of missionaries to the wild jungles of Australia finalized?

You'll have to check with Brother Abner, but my understanding is everyone has been selected and received their immunization prayers.

[bung79]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

During our last meeting on Weds. night brother Richardson announced that he had secured a donation from the Hershey's company of 12 crates of chocolate bars for distribution in Australia. The company is similarly concerned with the development and salvation of that island. It is our plan to make sure each missionary is well supplied with these tasty chocolate bars to share with the natives to get them to be more open to learning about the lord Jesus Christ. For all we know, they may have never tried milk chocolate before. It can't hurt, right?

You naive fool. What I fail to understand is that you're coming here to 'supposedly' save us all but yet you know nothing about Australia. For one thing we have Cadbury chocolate. Not the foul tasting Cadbury you have in the states, but the good stuff. Don't bother bringing that Hershey's crap with you.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Regarding the announcement in church today - it looks like that problem has been taken care of. Please don't worry, the mission should depart at the scheduled time and day.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Have the extra "supplies" been ordered yet?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Friends, I have excellent news!

As much as I wanted to join you on one of the greatest Landover Baptist Church missions ever, it seemed financially impossible. I have spent so much money on hospital bills and bullhorns (people kept destroying them) that I'm truly skint.

As a half-hearted last measure, I did a collection in my neighourhood, not expecting much, as it is filled with atheists, false Christians, and other Mooslims.

But!

Somehow the Lord must have inspired them, because they were more than happy to give me money for the good cause. Some of them even gave more than suggested, saying "it would even be better if you stay away three months instead of two". One neighbour even made the excellent suggestion of only buying a single ticket now, and he would send me the money for the return ticket when I'm over there. GLORY!

I am deeply touched that all these people are thinking about Australian heathens. God, Brothers and Sisters, moves in mysterious ways.

So.

AUSTRALIA: HERE I COME!!!!!

[JennyD]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

AUSTRALIA: HERE I COME!!!!!

Congratulations, Brother W-O!

Doubtless, the Lord has seen fit to pave your way to Australia!

Please take lots of pictures of the jungles and the people you convert! Beware those man-eating kangaroos and the giant ants, and the abos with their poison-tipped darts. I understand they're common both in the jungle and in Sydney, which is a veritable death trap for anyone not a criminal or an abo.

Regrettably, I cannot join you in this festive adventure as I have to operate my businesses. May God go with you, and Brother Buford as well! (I'm sure he'd do quite well there, aren't you?)

[Wide-Open]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Congratulations, Brother W-O!

Doubtless, the Lord has seen fit to pave your way to Australia!

Thank you sister Jenny! I am overjoyed. I have to fix a slight misunderstanding about my plane ticket (it seems Vienna is not the destination airport I should have chosen ) but I hope that can be sorted without much further adoo.

Please take lots of pictures of the jungles and the people you convert! Beware those man-eating kangaroos and the giant ants, and the abos with their poison-tipped darts. I understand they're common both in the jungle and in Sydney, which is a veritable death trap for anyone not a criminal or an abo.

Will do, and I hope to donate framed quality pictures to The Monthly Visitor, so that your customers will be able to enjoy the sight of thousands of heathens being converted to True Christianity™!

May God go with you, and Brother Buford as well! (I'm sure he'd do quite well there, aren't you?)

Brother Buford's skills will be invaluable after his encounters with the savages in Mexico and the stuff that lies below it (you know, Columbania and what have you). I can already hear us preach in unisono through our super amplified bullhorns. Praise!

[ForGodsSake]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Everything is nearly all set up over here in Australia. So by the time you all get here, things will be ready to go.....Praise the LORD.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Have the extra "supplies" been ordered yet?

Brother Abner says the shipment should be there when they arrive.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Brother Abner says the shipment should be there when they arrive.

Extra supplies?

More Bibles and Chick Tracts, I hope!

How exciting! Why, it's probably almost as dangerous as my congregation's monthly excursions into Indianapolis.

[jessiesue the halfwit]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

this is for u Sister Mary Maria
Is Your Child a Godless...
Reason: Being a Sassy-Mouthed Feminazi Witch
05-28-2008 02:17 PM by Sister Mary Maria
theres your proof now who is the retard dont you dare ever call me a liar again i suggest you write a retraction LIAR!!!!!!!!!

[Talitha]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

this is for u Sister Mary Maria
Is Your Child a Godless...
Reason: Being a Sassy-Mouthed Feminazi Witch
05-28-2008 02:17 PM by Sister Mary Maria
theres your proof now who is the retard dont you dare ever call me a liar again i suggest you write a retraction LIAR!!!!!!!!!

What in Heavens name are you wittering on about?
I can assure you that no member of a Church is a retarded.
If Sister M&M considers you to be a Sassy Mouthed Feminazi Bitch then please be assured YOU ARE a Sassy Mouthed Feminazi Bitch

[jessiesue the halfwit]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

i have never met people like u your all retarded!!!!!! the point i was making was that she lied about calling me a bitch! tell me thats ok now

[Talitha]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

i have never met people like u your all retarded!!!!!! the point i was making was that she lied about calling me a bitch! tell me thats ok now

You just called Gods chosen people retarded!!

I think you owe Sister M&M an apology for being the liar.

You are indeed A BITCH!!!

[jessiesue the halfwit]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

name calling now that mature!!!!!!!!!!!
well actually right i am a NOT VERY NICE PERSON becuase of people who aren't very nice like YOU!
You go around acting like your better than everyone and your the only right way to choose in your life!
your not christians your more like a bunch of bloody NAZIS! so thats why hitlers in heaven!!!!!!
get a life stop pretending to be somthing your not!