[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

several cases of Chick Tracts are on their way even as we speak, to be airdropped all over the Godless cesspool called Australasia. While we aren't sure about what percentage of the population are capable of speaking American, Brother Guy has assured us that inundating the island with KJV Bibles and good Christian Chick Tracts will pay dividends in the long run.

As no-one had ever seen a Chick Tract before and thanks to the Ministry of The Holy Spirit ROMANS 8:26 these pamphlets have proved extremely effective in bringing The Truth to a wider audience.

Just imagine if America had never stopped accepting convicts in the 18th century! There may never have been a Jack Chick to produce such inspired material and Australia might still be in darkness.

Thank you for introducing us to such a wonderful resource.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I'm certain that Pastor Zeke and Mayor Hold have sent congratulations and best wishes to Tony Abbott. Let's all hope and pray that the "55-year-old former Roman Catholic seminarian" has broken all ties with the papist menace in Rome and has found the power of Jesus to help him lead his country out of their morass.

To be safe, is there any chance of getting Crocodile Ron Howard back to replace Crocodile Tony Abbott now that the Australien Republican Party has taken the country back for normal Australiens?

[Scott Cole]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Amen Brother Cole - and I might add that the recent election victory in Australia is due in no small measure to the efforts of the Landover Baptist Church. Throwing out a seeming endless scourge of socialists, communists, a female lezbean prime minister and a tax and spend LIEberal as bad as or worse than what we have here in the US is a major accomplishment.

I'm certain that Pastor Zeke and Mayor Hold have sent congratulations and best wishes to Tony Abbott. Let's all hope and pray that the "55-year-old former Roman Catholic seminarian" has broken all ties with the papist menace in Rome and has found the power of Jesus to help him lead his country out of their morass.

Not to mention our wonderful PM has taken a strong stance against gay marriage!

The future of Australia does indeed look bright! all thanks to Land overs heroic skirmish

God Bless

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Amen Brother Cole - and I might add that the recent election victory in Australia is due in no small measure to the efforts of the Landover Baptist Church. Throwing out a seeming endless scourge of socialists, communists, a female lezbean prime minister and a tax and spend LIEberal as bad as or worse than what we have here in the US is a major accomplishment.

I'm certain that Pastor Zeke and Mayor Hold have sent congratulations and best wishes to Tony Abbott. Let's all hope and pray that the "55-year-old former Roman Catholic seminarian" has broken all ties with the papist menace in Rome and has found the power of Jesus to help him lead his country out of their morass.

Rod McGuirk, Associated Press 11:47 a.m. EDT September 7, 2013

CANBERRA, Australia (AP) — Australia's conservative opposition swept to power Saturday, ending six years of Labor Party rule and winning over a disenchanted public by promising to end a hated tax on carbon emissions, boost a flagging economy and bring about political stability after years of Labor infighting.

"I know that Labor hearts are heavy across the nation tonight, and as your prime minister and as your parliamentary leader of the great Australian Labor Party, I accept responsibility," Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said in a speech to supporters, after calling opposition leader Tony Abbott to concede defeat. "I gave it my all, but it was not enough for us to win."

A victory for the conservative Liberal Party-led coalition comes despite the relative unpopularity of Abbott, a 55-year-old former Roman Catholic seminarian and Rhodes scholar who has struggled to connect with women voters and was once dubbed "unelectable" by opponents and even some supporters.

But voters were largely fed up with Labor and Rudd, after a years-long power struggle between him and his former deputy, Julia Gillard. Gillard, who became the nation's first female prime minister after ousting Rudd in a party vote in 2010, ended up losing her job to Rudd three years later in a similar internal party coup.

The drama, combined with Labor reneging on an election promise by imposing a deeply unpopular tax on the nation's biggest carbon polluters, proved deadly for Labor's re-election chances.

In his concession speech, Rudd said he would be stepping down as party leader.

…

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/09/07/australia-election-labor-abbott/2779205/

[Scott Cole]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

having read this thread from page to page I just wanna add that not all (but most) Australiens are moronic heathen posters who cant manage to string a sentence along without huffing glue, I would also like to add the small island named Tasmania was originally dubbed Van Diemans land which is convict for demon.

Truly amazing work the LBC has accomplished, The Christians you converted have indeed continued fighting the good fight and Christianity is slowly but surely taking a firm hold on Australia. GLORY!

God Bless

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Praise Jesus!
It has been a lot of hard work the past four days but we all agreed this is a state of emergency, as the number of Australiens who have found salvation can be counted on one hand with fingers left over. With help from Australien President Ron Howard, we can now formally announce Landover Baptist Church's Mission to Australia. Fifteen True Christian™ missionaries are going to the darkest jungles of that Godforsaken land to spread the Gospel to a nation of unrepentant drunks and criminals!

By now Howard has gone and been replaced by an atheistic Welsh leftie who seems bent upon the destruction of Godliness forever.

Cutting to the res:
@2:24 subjected [women] to manipulation, mistreatment and malpractice WHO DID?
@6:27ff do all in our power to make sure that these practices are never repeated WHAT PRACTICES?
@7:23 to right an old wrong @7:41 ..face the negative features of our past WHAT OLD WRONG? WHAT NEGATIVE FEATURES?
@8:06 misguided
@8:20 shameful
@8:46 wrongful beliefs WHO ARE THESE MONSTERS?

We didn't have to wait long to be "informed" who was responsible for this great darkness! The prime minister lists the conspirators, those introduced as having done "manipulation, mistreatment and malpractice" so vile that we must "do all in our power to make sure that these practices are never repeated" who legitimised "an old wrong" staining a nation with "negative features of our past" by whom we were "misguided" whose policy and conduct were "shameful" brainchild of "wrongful beliefs" and there it is, right at the top of the list front and centre:

@8:53f These Churches.. What did they do?
@8:59 ..struck at the most primal and sacred bond there is ..your point being?

What Miss Gillard is saying is that the Churches' taking responsibility for the placement of babies born out of wedlock to mothers who were not killed, due to the secularist prohibition against such a procedure, was "shameful" "misguided" and based on "wrongful belief" according to the preamble in her speech.

Christians know that it is the communistic influence which strikes at the true heart of society: the relationship between the Creator and the created. Due to the manipulation, mistreatment and malpractice by evolutionists the strumpet, in this atheistic belief system, should be free to roam abroad. Her progeny not only permitted but encouraged to remain under her wing learning the very principles which had led to her ruin!

What is the real shame here? That illegitimate babies were adopted out to Godly homes (the mothers being drugged into submission or simply strapped to the stirrups so they couldn't move thus saving money on drugs and preventing a possible opioid analgesic addiction in later life)? Or that babies would go into dens of iniquity to be instructed in the Godless tyranny of vice and despair.

We now know what "the government" thinks. What more could be expected from a land where convicts were given the vote? But Christians follow the unchanging Word of God.

Leviticus 19:20 And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid, betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged; they shall not be put to death, because she was not free. KJV

WHOSE LIFE IS IT ANYWAY?

Leviticus 21:9 And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. KJV

What Jesus died to save us from is what the secularist would lead us into.

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

It looks like it bit him on the penis.


This reminds me of a great joke:

Two cowboys are staying a couple miles outside of town on a trail they used for herding cattle. While taking a shit behind a bush, one cowboys gets bitten on the penis by a rattle snake. He alerts his friend, who jumps on his horse and races toward town seeking a cure. He reaches the doctors office and runs inside. The doc explains to him that the only way to save his friend is to suck the poison out. The cowboy jumps back on his horse and races back to his ailing friend. When he reaches his camp, the frantic cowboy cries out "What did the doctor say?"
To which his friend replies "He said you're gonna die!"

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

[ATTACH]21086[/ATTACH]

Oh look, a cute deathadder! I don't know what wus is doing; if bitten there's plenty of time to get to a hospital.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I never want to go there again. Too many flies, too many darkies, and nasty Foster's lager.

You're a courageous and fearless man, pastor, for going to Godless Austria, where nowhere is safe.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

I never want to go there again. Too many flies, too many darkies, and nasty Foster's lager.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Oh My! Where to start!

probably not with grammar, punctuation or syntax, A.

# # # REST OF POST DELETED # # #

It seems to have escaped your notice that the mission was announced in 2008. Can you spot any other dates in the thread? What is the date now?

[shameful witch]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

If there was ever any question whether literacy was a problem in Austria, you have provided proof of that.

Lol thats so funny you post about literacy problems in AUSTRIA!,that's in Europe fool!,again the problem seems to be at your end!

[Nobar King]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

well as youve pointed out literacy is a problem !.

If there was ever any question whether literacy was a problem in Austria, you have provided proof of that.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Oh My! Where to start!,well as youve pointed out literacy is a problem !.Yes yurs Ms Whitford,firstly dont you have a spell checker???if not go to yur dictionary to find out how to spell" AUSTRALIAN".Kiwi is not and never was a nickname for Aussies!,its a nickname for New Zealanders a country many hundreds of miles away from Australia.As for your" Team" make sure you give them GPS machines because your direction to a jungle island will leave them in New Guinea!,another separate and very different country.You may want to correct your list of Aussie pics!,Ron Howard in American,Lucy Lawless is from New Zealand.You may be able to missrepresent and create "Falsehoods" about people in your country,but we have very strong laws regarding "Hate" crimes and by now you will already be on the "Watch List".Your Mission may well be over before you ever get going.We have recently exposed several so called "Ministry's" and there's little sympathy for deceitful practises and libel.I strongly suggest that you make an effort ,do some serious research!,get your facts straight,removed blatant lies and ask for forgiveness for spreading lies and hate.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

[shameful witch]

Re: Landover Baptist Church announces "Mission to Australia"

Oh My! Where to start!,well as youve pointed out literacy is a problem !.Yes yurs Ms Whitford,firstly dont you have a spell checker???if not go to yur dictionary to find out how to spell" AUSTRALIAN".Kiwi is not and never was a nickname for Aussies!,its a nickname for New Zealanders a country many hundreds of miles away from Australia.As for your" Team" make sure you give them GPS machines because your direction to a jungle island will leave them in New Guinea!,another separate and very different country.You may want to correct your list of Aussie pics!,Ron Howard in American,Lucy Lawless is from New Zealand.You may be able to missrepresent and create "Falsehoods" about people in your country,but we have very strong laws regarding "Hate" crimes and by now you will already be on the "Watch List".Your Mission may well be over before you ever get going.We have recently exposed several so called "Ministry's" and there's little sympathy for deceitful practises and libel.I strongly suggest that you make an effort ,do some serious research!,get your facts straight,removed blatant lies and ask for forgiveness for spreading lies and hate.