[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Due to the fact that I am not married, I have never had sexual congress with a woman. But I can imagine how icky it would be if she were juicy enough to splash.

Question though: The gaysexuals have dry anal sodomy sex. If the woman's cooter is as dry as a homosexual man's anus, then wouldn't it be gay to have sex with the woman under those circumstances? I would think a little moistness would be useful for the man to distinguish it from a homosexual encounter.

It is my understanding the homosexual eats those foods most conducive to diarrhea. By maintaining a constant flow of sewage in his pipes, he is always at the ready for an impromptu meeting with a fellow homosexual in a dark ally, airport bathroom, or Democratic Convention. Some foods are glorified for just this purpose, and they make no effort to hide the quality of their services to this regard. Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears is one of their favorites, as you can see from the reviews here:

“What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM.”

“Be sure to also buy a tub of Oxyclean with this to get the blood and diarrhea stains out of your underwear, clothes, furniture, pets, loved ones, ceiling fans.”

"I was glued to the toilet seat. Streams of fire burst from my colon. When i wasnt experiencing Satans fury exploding from my rear, i was laying in the fetal position on my bathroom floor, sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Im a 280 pound man. I. Was. Sobbing."

I can assure you, the LORD made a woman's internal environment to be sufficiently dry, and her countenance unfettered by emotions for the task at hand when she has given herself over to Christ. Making soldiers for Christ is no small responsibility, and it wouldn't do for a woman to be easily distracted by such issues as comfort, where her mind might have a tendency to wander. The LORD does provide small mercies, even to those through whom sin is continually unleashed unto humanity (Job 14:4).

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

I can only testify from personal experience, but back before I was Saved™ I would frequently abandon my natural use (Romans 1:27) and indulge in the most horrific unmentionable acts with other women, and my Dark Hole of Satan would be wetter than a Mexican'ts back.
But thanks to coming into me, I was able to find Salvation™ and renounce my sapphic slattern ways. Now when my husband, Mr. Whitford, and I enjoy our monthly attempt at making more Little Warriors for , I'm as dry as a Lutheran "pastor's" wit, just as the intended!

[Barabbas]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Am I the only one that took offense to the White woman laying with the Negro? I never made it past that to read the article.

***removed image depicting fornication***

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

No, you're not. See post #3. Utterly obscene.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

I can only testify from personal experience, but back before I was Saved™ I would frequently abandon my natural use (Romans 1:27) and indulge in the most horrific unmentionable acts with other women, and my Dark Hole of Satan would be wetter than a Mexican'ts back.
But thanks to coming into me, I was able to find Salvation™ and renounce my sapphic slattern ways. Now when my husband, Mr. Whitford, and I enjoy our monthly attempt at making more Little Warriors for , I'm as dry as a Lutheran "pastor's" wit, just as the intended!

Oh, what a powerful testimony, Mrs. Whitford. You're so comely and demure, I would have never guessed that you'd ever been a dyke!

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

She's an ex papist nun, isn't she? Say no more.

[WashedWithHisBlood]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Seeing this thread I recalled a time when I was a filthy booze drinking vaginal loving lowlife.

Back in the 90's I had my tally whacker covered with slimy rotten cheese smelling milky discharge after having sex with a mail order Chink.

It was damned disgusting and I swear to God the Lord all mighty Jesus Christ; who died on the cross for my sins; and whose name will reign forever...... That I will never ever ever everrr sleep with any women again.

Matthew 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

It was damned disgusting and I swear to God the Lord all mighty Jesus Christ; who died on the cross for my sins; and whose name will reign forever...... That I will never ever ever everrr sleep with any women again.

Sir, excuse me for asking, but how will you then impregnate a woman to have children for you? "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Psalm 127:3

[WashedWithHisBlood]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Sir, excuse me for asking, but how will you then impregnate a woman to have children for you? "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Psalm 127:3

Gee.. that's a good question.

How will I do that? ... Whooo... Well.. ummn... I got faith you see. So perhaps if I just pray it away I'll run into some luck.

Matthew 17:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Sorry, but can we change the topic please? My step dad got arrested for DUI last night and he had been asking me to bail him out.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Is your stepfather a Christian? If so, I would say you have to bail him out. They like to abuse Christians in jail.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Gee.. that's a good question.

How will I do that? ... Whooo... Well.. ummn... I got faith you see. So perhaps if I just pray it away I'll run into some luck.

Matthew 17:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Sorry, but can we change the topic please? My step dad got arrested for DUI last night and he had been asking me to bail him out.

I'm so sorry to hear about your stepfather! Christians are always persecuted. "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake." Matthew 5:11 Also, I'll join you in prayer that you can keep your oath "Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:" Matthew 5:33 while still having an oath. After all, "But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Gee.. that's a good question.

How will I do that? ... Whooo... Well.. ummn... I got faith you see. So perhaps if I just pray it away I'll run into some luck.

Matthew 17:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

Sorry, but can we change the topic please? My step dad got arrested for DUI last night and he had been asking me to bail him out.

I have found the solution to this. I impregnated my wife once - it was disgusting - and she bore a female child She's pregnant again, but I did not directly impregnate her this time. I put my seed into a turkey baster, and delivered my seed to her lady parts that way. It was much more pleasant. I'm sure it will be a son, as a direct result. Next time I'm thinking of getting a nurse or a midwife to deliver the seed to her cooter - that way I won't even have to look at it.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

I put my seed into a turkey baster

Wait, hold up, RED ALERT, do not pass "go."

Mr. Farmer, I certainly hope you had some way of getting that seed into that turkey baster without, um, engaging in self abuse.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Wait, hold up, RED ALERT, do not pass "go."

Mr. Farmer, I certainly hope you had some way of getting that seed into that turkey baster without, um, engaging in self abuse.

It's quite OK, as no seed was spilled

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Only sluts have wet vajayjays: give your husband the dry sex he craves!

Gonna need to consult the pastors on this one. If you rubbed that thing, well, I just don't know how to feel about that. But I will, of course defer to my spiritual betters as to whether you remained within the letter and spirit of the law.