[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

wow, this felicity sure is brain-dead, huh?

A young lady asks a sincere question, and suddenly she is "brain-dead" ???

Leave it to a paddy in his cups to totally miss the point.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

A young member of my congregation (only 13!) asked me the same question, worrying about feeling queasy and thickening somewhat around the middle. Could it be an unintended pregnancy? The child asked me about how to get pregnant and what to do . . . adoption or even . . . abortion.

Naturally, I was horrified, and called in the family.

After a long chat with the parents, we agreed that having milk with each meal was not the same as having a milkshake with each meal. This minor adjustment to little Jimmy's diet took care of his symptoms.

[Bible Student]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

wow, this felicity sure is brain-dead, huh?

I'm trying very hard not to say anything. It is difficult. You are lucky you are far away or I would box your ears and make you wash your mouth out with Fels Naptha soap for insulting Felicity that way. You have 4 hours to apologize.

Felicity is a bright young lady (for a girl) but a bit sheltered by her overly protective True Christian(tm) parents. That is the reason she comes to friends at Landover Baptist Church when she has questions and concerns. At least that way we can buffer her from Unsaved Trash like you.

[It's Pink!]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

u can also get pregnant if u get a pizza delivered wif extra hot sausage apparently??? :S :S :S or if a plumber comes by bcuz u need plumbing or u r a maid n dont finish ur work on time ._.

[Bible Student]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

u can also get pregnant if u get a pizza delivered wif extra hot sausage apparently??? :S :S :S or if a plumber comes by bcuz u need plumbing or u r a maid n dont finish ur work on time ._.

Where do you get such ideas, young lady? Are you watching the wrong kind of movies? There is nothing in the 1611 King James Bible about pizza with hot sausage, or a plumber, or not finishing work on time (except for the bit about the end of times). The man has to know someone to get them pregnant. I'm sure you don't know what I mean. Besides, I don't see how any of that has anything to do with getting pregnant. Pray more, watch TV less.

[handmaiden]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

Stories about the stork are evil and pagan! The early followers of the One True God knew where babies came from and they properly limited those activities to God-sanctioned times and under God-sanctioned conditions.

Ideally, Felicity's parents should read to her the many, many passages of the Bible that clarfiy issues such as the woman's issue, the man's issue and the appropriate means of dealing with each. All this information will calm their young daughter's concerns and leave her with a humble appreciation of God's Divine Ordinance regarding reproduction and a healthy fear of stepping over the line less she be stoned.

The Bible is the cure for all the foolish misinformation about babies and s-e-you-know-what floating about out there!


Admonishingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[groupspostings]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

Felicity, dear, now that you're growing up into a fine young lady, you really need to learn the facts of life. Now, maybe your daddy is going to get angry at me for telling you this, but I think it's high time you learned about where babies come from.

The first thing to understand, honey, is that babies don't actually come from storks. What really happens is when a husband and a wife love each other very much, they ask Jesus to bless them with a child.



Then, depending on how much Jesus loves the married couple, He either blesses them with a son (He loves them a lot!!) or a daughter (He still loves them, but He thinks they could be tithing a little more or something).



Finally, nine months later, a beautiful True Christian™ baby is born.

Amazing how many Christian women deliver children within those 9 months, even a month or short of the full 9 month term.


It's clear the "innocent Christian woman" conceived the child while dating and submitting to her Christian (and nonChrsitian) boyfriend/ fiance.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

Amazing how many Christian women deliver children within those 9 months, even a month or short of the full 9 month term.


It's clear the "innocent Christian woman" conceived the child while dating and submitting to her Christian (and nonChrsitian) boyfriend/ fiance.

My mother-in-law always said the first baby is often impatient, but the rest of them take the full 9 months. Her first baby was impatient and took only 6 1/2 months before he was ready to come out and say hello to the world!

[groupspostings]

Re: I am a little scared, how can you know if you are pregnant?

My mother-in-law always said the first baby is often impatient, but the rest of them take the full 9 months. Her first baby was impatient and took only 6 1/2 months before he was ready to come out and say hello to the world!

That sounds right.
I apologize for my earlier postings. I have an active imagination.

(The board doesn't allow me to respond to the PMs).