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My father is on the fence regarding allowing me to submit my design for a linen ephod to the Simplicity pattern company. I searched Simplicity's catalog and they have no ephods whatsoever. As we all know, Samuel and David and hundreds of others danced before the Lord in a linen ephod. He fears that it would appeal to Catholics as attire for altar boys. I asked him if he thought David was Catholic, but he became stubborn so I meekly walked away. He promises to allow me to send it in if the Christian women of Landover approve it. I also welcome the ideas of Christian men regarding the best way to convince Father to grant permission. Bless you all!
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Re: Ladies, Please Help Me
I wouldn't worry too much about the catholics, as the don't read the Holy Bible and don't know what's in there. I imagine if you asked thousand papists today what an ephod is, they would have no idea. After all, this cult worships crackers, magic water, and Mary's vagina!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Ladies, Please Help Me
What an innovative idea! I sometimes dance before the Lord in my tighty whities. I'm not very rhythmically inclined, but I figure that all men should follow the example King David set when he danced half-naked before the Lord. If an ephod were available to wear for such an occasion, I would certainly avail myself of it as I wouldn't want to look like a fool praising God.sigpic Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
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