Tweet
Heavenly Father, we pray for your Spirit and your words to be in our hearts, as we discover the virtues that make us beautiful. Open our eyes to your definition of beauty and open our eyes to the best TV and magazine commercials of beauty products. Give us wisdom as mothers so we may teach our daughters the beauty that comes from inside the heart. Shew unto us that which, as daughters, we might do to attract husbands that will please our fathers. Cancel through your mighty power our menfolk's subscriptions to the Victoria's Secret catalog. May the chemistry of our baking be ever pleasing to you, Oh Lord, and to the palates of our friends and family. Smite cellulite and shun the sagging that vexeth our menfolk so. Bring us to the pathway leading to Glory, but if it be Thy will, grant us a vacation in Aruba, since nothing glorifies Thy Name as much as a good, natural tan. Reveal to us the knowledge of your truth through scriptures and Bible study. We pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.
-
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
-
Re: Ladies, Please join me in prayer.
What a Spirit-Led prayer that was, Miss Lamb! Why, if only more women had been raised by decent, God-fearing parents like you, our dear friend Pastor Robertson wouldn't have to remind women:
Don't ruin your marriages by getting ugly!Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
Comment