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  • #1

    Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

    Trust me ladies, I don't want to be it this part of forum any longer than absolutely needed, but I am in need of advice.
    If we hypothetically think that someone here would be an expert in taking divorces, what would be the best way. What would be the best way of getting Sarah Palin out of her useless marriage and get her re-married to a real man?

    Think about it, who would be better husband for her than Vladimir Putin?

    Yes, I know she is starting to be on older side, but her namesake Sarah got pregnant on her 90's, so she still had good 40 years of producing a son for Christ. One son is all we need. Offspring of this holy marriage would truly be the leader of the free world. Combining intelligence and compassion of her mother with determination and Christian values of her father would truly make a great man. One to unite both USA and Russia under lasting and loving Republican rule, place for love and traditional family values, new nation where gaysexuals would not be tolerated and all the opposition would be crushed without thinking twice!

    We need to make this happen!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

    I'm sure Putin would welcome this suggestion, as the lovely Sarah Palin would be a great improvement on his ex-wife - see how she let herself go!




    There should be no problem getting them together - after all, Sarah can see Russia from her house.

    Getting rid of her husband is another matter. Divorce is so messy. Might he "go missing" during one of those snowmobile races he is so keen on? This strikes me as the sort of thing Brother President Vladimir might be able to arrange without our help, especially given the prospect of the people of Alaska clamoring to join Russia.

    Excellent suggestion, Brother Alphonse. I think all that needs to be done is to give Putin a call - over to you to speak to a Pastor about it.

    YiC
    AW
    2 Timothy 3:16

    All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

      Originally posted by Attila's Wife View Post
      Divorce is so messy. Might he "go missing" during one of those snowmobile races he is so keen on? This strikes me as the sort of thing Brother President Vladimir might be able to arrange without our help, especially given the prospect of the people of Alaska clamoring to join Russia.

      Excellent suggestion, Brother Alphonse. I think all that needs to be done is to give Putin a call - over to you to speak to a Pastor about it.

      YiC
      AW
      I think Pastor Ezekiel has Brother Vladimir's number on speed dial, so good that part can be arranged quite easily. It's just now you made me thinking would it be better to present Sister Sarah to Brother Putin as a divorcer or as a widow.

      Yes, we need to think this trough before we call Mr. President.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

        Well, Mr Putin is not a True Christian (tm) although he is the closest of all world leaders to being one. He is a Russian orthodox, and who knows what they believe? So to play it on the safe side, maybe the lovely Sarah should be widowed before they meet? Divorce may be looked at in a bad light - like it is with the cathlicks.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

          Originally posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
          I think Pastor Ezekiel has Brother Vladimir's number on speed dial, so good that part can be arranged quite easily. It's just now you made me thinking would it be better to present Sister Sarah to Brother Putin as a divorcer or as a widow.
          I agree with Mother-of-almost-8 (if you'll excuse me for calling you that, Sister? All your true friends here are rejoicing in the news). We need to be on the safe side. But maybe Brother Vlad's people could organize Sarah's widowhood without him being (officially) aware of it.

          Pastor Zeke is our man here. What am I saying? He is always our man!
          2 Timothy 3:16

          All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

            Handsome Brother Alban,

            Greetings in the name of our and .

            Not to interrupt your conversation here, but then again you ARE in the women's area, where ladies have precedence.

            Are you happily married? (A friend wants to know)

            I would like to speak reason into this discussion. If Brother Vladimir is looking for a wife, one might reasonably assume he would be in search of a PURE woman, not one that is (a) hymenless, (b) mother to an imperfect child. No, I believe he would be more interested in a virgin with excellent skills in the kitchen; a woman that will hold his hammer and sickle for him, a delightful, well-spoken ambassadoress for Christ.

            That's just my opinion.
            Does anyone know the zip code for Moscow?
            1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
            Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
            Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
            Locations in 50 States and Canada
            !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
            Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
            Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

              Originally posted by Attila's Wife View Post
              Pastor Zeke is our man here. What am I saying? He is always our man!
              1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
              Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
              Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
              Locations in 50 States and Canada
              !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
              Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
              Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

                Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                Not to interrupt your conversation here, but then again you ARE in the women's area, where ladies have precedence.

                Are you happily married? (A friend wants to know)
                I am happily married for now, Sister. Thank you for asking.

                Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                I would like to speak reason into this discussion. If Brother Vladimir is looking for a wife, one might reasonably assume he would be in search of a PURE woman, not one that is (a) hymenless, (b) mother to an imperfect child. No, I believe he would be more interested in a virgin with excellent skills in the kitchen; a woman that will hold his hammer and sickle for him, a delightful, well-spoken ambassadoress for Christ.
                While I see your point, world politics is a complicated issue and we need to put personal gain side at times (of course while staying as republican, Christian and capitalist as possible) of need. This might be the big step back into biblical law we have been waiting for so long. Of course before wedding night we would take her officially into LBC, and when she would that way accept Christ as her personal savior, she would be born again. More importantly she would be born again virgin in the eyes of the LORD. Still, this is all speculation until we take care of those other problems.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

                  Originally posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

                    Now, Pastor. Don't let me rain on your parade.

                    Come on over to my mother and father's new condo and share in the revelry. Daisy was upset that you didn't show! We're all having a wonderful time. Cookie sure can dance!
                    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                    Locations in 50 States and Canada
                    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Vladimir Putin and Sarah Palin married!?

                      While such a union may seem highly desirable, it is not possible, owing to the fact that Sister Sarah Palin is already married to her husband, Brother Todd Palin.
                      God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                      Comment

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