[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

Now that the state of Indiana has exercised its Republican rights related to business owners refusing to cater to the gaywise, I have the great pleasure to open Naomi's Moist Pie in Indianapolis, Fort Wayne, and Gnawbone, Indiana. The buildings are purchased, and interviews for management (male) and kitchen staff (female) will begin soon. While I don't care how many homersekshuls buy my goods, I will not bake for their so-called weddings, civil unions, commitment ceremonies, etc. I just cannot imagine my pie being of interest since each ingredient is prayed over and lifted up to Jesus for His Glory, but In-The-Closet gays can be very deceiving if not out and out cocky.

In my California store, for instance, a homer wore a shirt proclaiming that he was "Born Again and Gay" and on the back of the shirt was a photo of Jesus holding two male symbols intertwined. My manager was just about to escort him out when another straight customer grabbed him by the tshirt and threw him in the alley. Even now the store is being picketed, but it is also being protected by angelic warriors. Glory!

[Granny June]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

While I don't care how many homersekshuls buy my goods, I will not bake for their so-called weddings.

sister, I question this sorry.

you are keeping the homogays amongst us alive by allowing them food. What if the gay crawled to your store on death's store, having just survived a month-long "party" and was about to expire, then you gave him a pie and he lived could you live with that?

i suppose you'd offer him water too to revive him too so he might live to sin another day infecting God™ knows how many innocent children and animals it is not right Excuse me you are adding and abetting the enemy



(insert scripture here) do later

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

sister, I question this sorry.

you are keeping the homogays amongst us alive by allowing them food. What if the gay crawled to your store on death's store, having just survived a month-long "party" and was about to expire, then you gave him a pie and he lived could you live with that?

i suppose you'd offer him water too to revive him too so he might live to sin another day infecting God™ knows how many innocent children and animals it is not right Excuse me you are adding and abetting the enemy



(insert scripture here) do later

Dearest June,

You may disagree with me, but as a True Christian(TM) I am incapable of making the wrong decision. What the homos that frequent my establishments do not know is that a dollar from every purchase goes to fund Anti-GLBTQ causes and legislation. They are purchasing their own restrictions, you see. They don't take time to read the warning label - and that's their own fault.

In Christ,
NRL

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

From the Desk of
GRANNY JUNE
Office Temp and #1 Volunteer for Christ

sister, I question this sorry.

you are keeping the homogays amongst us alive by allowing them food. What if the gay crawled to your store on death's store, having just survived a month-long "party" and was about to expire, then you gave him a pie and he lived could you live with that?

i suppose you'd offer him water too to revive him too so he might live to sin another day infecting God™ knows how many innocent children and animals it is not right Excuse me you are adding and abetting the enemy



(insert scripture here) do later

Granny June,

They are only going to be alive for so long until they die and go to Hell for their sins. Thus, why not we profit off them now in this world, and get their money to do His work? That seems like the most American and godly thing to do!

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

Yet ANOTHER Expansion! Glory to God!

A bounteous spread is in store for the citizens of Nashville, Tennessee and Harrison, Arkansas. I am opening my pie to those people on April 12, 2015. Just read the following story that was published in the Tennessean:

(AP Nashville) Music City has yet another reason to celebrate. Everyone in this town loves a good pie - especially cherry! Well, you won't be disappointed when entrepreneur Naomi Ruth Lamb opens the doors to her incredible pie on Monday, April 12. Located just a few doors from the Ernest Tubb Record Shop, Naomi's Moist Pie offers a wide assortment of temptations guaranteed to make any man (or woman) drool! Rated as superb in Zagat's Guide, Naomi brings her True Christian(TM) style to each and every encounter with her pie. Miss Lamb stated, "We pray over each and every ingredient and ask the Holy Ghost to inspire our cooks. We're not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ. In fact, we have prayer rooms available, staffed with trained prayer warriors during business hours. I offer private meetings - which can include a private tasting - by appointment."

But you better book now: Naomi has private tastings booked through July 3 and times go fast.

I am so humbled by this article. The halcyon village of Harrison, Arkansas, a sleepy little bastion of racial purity, will also enjoy my pie as I attend the grand opening on April 17th. All are welcome to join me as I continue to service the working men (indeed, all people) for the glory of Jesus.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

I'll see if I can get permission to fly out and visit you...I've met your parents in person, and I hope to see you too soon, my dear Sister in Christ!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

I'll see if I can get permission to fly out and visit you...I've met your parents in person, and I hope to see you too soon, my dear Sister in Christ!

Oh, how wonderful! We could get a hotel outside the gates of Freehold unless you could petition the pastor for a temporary pass. I have plenty of room in my beautiful, expansive Apostle's Park Court estate. (All glory to God)

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

Oh, how wonderful! We could get a hotel outside the gates of Freehold unless you could petition the pastor for a temporary pass. I have plenty of room in my beautiful, expansive Apostle's Park Court estate. (All glory to God)

I would hate to pester one of the good pastors, do you know would be the best person to ask. But if God advises me against going in, may I take up your generous offer to meet your outside the gates?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

Oh, how wonderful! We could get a hotel outside the gates of Freehold unless you could petition the pastor for a temporary pass. I have plenty of room in my beautiful, expansive Apostle's Park Court estate. (All glory to God)

If the two of you want to shack up in some flophouse outside of Freehold proper, You have my blessing.

Of course, getting back in might present problems for you.....

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

If the two of you want to shack up in some flophouse outside of Freehold proper, You have my blessing.

Of course, getting back in might present problems for you.....

Elizabeth,
It appears that such a visit might not be best at this time. However, do not despair! Pastor Ezekiel is not beyond changing his mind. I'll $ee what it might take to bring about a $incere and $ati$factory re$ult.

NRL

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Naomi's Moist Pie is Expanding

Of course, dear! I'll pray, and trust in Matthew 7:7 occurring in His time!