My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Friends -

My Left Shoe has scheduled its Diversity Campaign BBQ for Monday, March 15. The food sounds delectable!

Not only will My Left Shoe provide Freehold TWO Porkgasms (thank you for the recipe, Brother Wide-Open) and a Tofurkey for the vegans, but also will have a Fried Chicken or Tofu Contest!

All are encouraged to bring their homemade fried chicken or tofu for taste-testing and judging, and/or a side dish to share. This is a GRASSROOTS-style BBQ, not some uppity top-down "we know what you should eat" BBQ like Al King's!

Just in case the judges barf eat up all of your homemade chicken or tofu, there will be a table for each of the three major purveyors of fried chicken: KFC, Popeye's, and Church's, and a table featuring exciting vegan delights.

If that's not enough, there will be fresh corn on the cob (imported from one of Brother Worthington's farms in Australia, where it's in season) and an array of fruit and cream pies (provided by the Freehold Fruit and Cream Society, whatever that is). Collard greens and assorted finely-cut salad greens will be provided by the Freehold Landscape Workers Union.

My Left Shoe has selected entertainment which it believes will please the most potential True Progressive™ voters. Being a Christian man, the entertainer list makes me want to hurl.

First, in a tribute to My Left Shoe's opponent, the Jackson Jive will warm up the crowd:

Continuing the "diverse" theme, RuPaul will heat things up by dancing and singing while wearing revealing women's clothing.

Then, Lady Gaga will do something equally appalling exciting and visionary.

After a brief speech by My Left Shoe, Wing will close out the evening with tunes by Elvis, the Beatles, and this classic from ABBA:

In keeping with My Left Shoe's Diversity Plan, Wing (being Asian) will occupy 60% of the stage time. RuPaul and the Jackson Jive will occupy 14% of the stage time. Mexican custodial and stage staff will occupy 8% of the stage time. Lady Gaga, being a white US citizen, will occupy only 5% of the stage time, but 32% of the expense of the stage production will be spent on her one number.

It promises to be a revolting, depraved enjoyable afternoon!

Special thanks to Mrs. Johnson for allowing My Left Shoe to hold this BBQ in her backyard, just as the now-disgraced Al King (who, as we all know, framed Mrs. Johnson and Miss Cassandra because they prefer My Left Shoe's genuine Diversity Plan to Al King's lip-service) did last week.

This post has been edited by My Right Shoe, Spiritual Advisor to My Left Shoe.

[Wide-Open]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

Sorry to be slightly off-topic Reverend, but will My Right Shoe be Mr. Left shoe's, erm, running mate?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

Sorry to be slightly off-topic Reverend, but will My Right Shoe be Mr. Left shoe's, erm, running mate?

Goodness no, Brother.

My Right Shoe, unlike My Left Shoe, is here in Indiana with me.

My Right Shoe is much like Al King, in that it cannot demonstrate having resided in Freehold for the past year . . . because, also much like Al King, it hasn't!

Brother Nobar King can, of course, vouch for My Left Shoe being stuck in the Freehold mud for a year before that brave rescue.

I may just have to fly down to Freehold for My Left Shoe's BBQ, though! Where's a good place to stay? That place I went to on my last visit was overrun with cockroaches. I saw at least two!

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

Well, I must say, your Left Shoe definitely has a better musical taste than JJ Hold!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

Will sole be served?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

Special thanks to Mrs. Johnson for allowing My Left Shoe to hold this BBQ in her backyard

Seems like it is time to unpack the explosives.

[Petal]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

This post has been edited by My Right Shoe, Spiritual Advisor to My Left Shoe.

i be speakings to Mr.Right Shoe nows. please spirtually advise Mr.Left Shoe to pay no minds to Miss.Lady Gaga shoes, cuz they will leads him astrays, an he not needs that to happens cuz true christains™ only lurve them sensible shoes

this not sensible shoes

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

Will sole be served?

My Left Shoe is a fan of all sole food, B.I.G.!

i be speakings to Mr.Right Shoe nows. please spirtually advise Mr.Left Shoe to pay no minds to Miss.Lady Gaga shoes, cuz they will leads him astrays, an he not needs that to happens cuz true christains™ only lurve them sensible shoes

this not sensible shoes

You're right, Petal, those shoes are not sensible at all!

Fortunately, My Left Shoe is very down-to-earth. It's a Cape Shoes Oxford-style work shoe, much like this Carolina Oxford:



Sorry I've been offline; My Left Shoe needed me to help set up the BBQ. That's not easy from Indiana; lots of telephone time.

I'm told all is ready, and now it's only one hour til the Jackson Jive go on stage! Have you noticed, they look so much like Al King?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

I only got to watch via WebCam, but was thrilled at the turnout for My Left Shoe's BBQ! Hundreds were there! Unfortunately, the camera was set at waist height, so I couldn't actually identify any of the supporters . . . though one particular lady's midsection looked very familiar.

I'm sorry that the show had to end early. Everybody with the campaign is shocked that Lady Gaga's pyrotechnics set Mrs. Johnson's house on fire. Who knew it would burn so fast, and that sparks from the other side of the property -- a few hundred feet away -- could set it alight! I'm told the stage was downwind of the house and that nobody even saw a spark drift that far, but suddenly there was a loud >WHUMP< behind the crowd and flames everywhere, including the hair of two of the Jackson Jive. (The event was sponsored by the local Pepsi distributor; coincidence?)

Thanks to whoever turned the WebCam for me so I could see.

Reports are that nobody was hurt, and many of the crowd had a grand time roasting marshmallows until the fire department arrived to put out the blaze.

I sure hope Lady Gaga won't be prosecuted. She has enough problems already!

Has anyone seen Mrs. Johnson? She hasn't been seen since.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

My burger was burnt and the meat far from tender. By the way, I have never heard of the meat supplier called "Red Wing". I did think it was clever they imprinted their trademark on the meat.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

My burger was burnt and the meat far from tender. By the way, I have never heard of the meat supplier called "Red Wing". I did think it was clever they imprinted their trademark on the meat.

Mr. Hutchins, there were no burgers served at My Left Shoe's BBQ. Did you attend Jonny Toe Jam's by mistake?

If so, I'm not surprised you were disgusted by his Soylent Negro Burgers.

[James Hutchins]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

No, at JJH's BBQ, the filet mignon was the most tender I have ever had, served with asparagus drizzled with Hollandaise and new potatoes with a hint of Cajun spice. The wine was spectacular as well. I cannot imagine how they managed to get a hold of so many cases of Lafitte '54. I thought the last of it was bought at Sothebys by an undisclosed EuroTrash bidder.
Hats off to the ladies of Landover for locating the china from the Queen Mary and glassware from Steuben.

By the way, the Budweiser at My Left Shoes shindig was warm and skunky.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My Left Shoe's Campaign BBQ

By the way, the Budweiser at My Left Shoes shindig was warm and skunky.

Budweiser? HA!

The beer served was ice-cold Coors, the Anti-Gay Beer.

Are you sure you're not thinking of Al "Jungle Fever" King's event?