X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

    Praise Jesus, election day is upon us. I just want to make sure that everyone in our congregation is remembering to follow the Holy Bible, as we do in all things.

    Firstly, you ladies out there: As you know, God wants you to let us men do the thinking. Elections are too complicated and important for you to get involved with, so just leave everything up to your man.

    1 Timothy 2:11-15
    Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

    All married True Christian™ females will have their absentee ballots turned over to their husbands by noon today. For the True Christian™ Virgins out there, you can turn your ballots over to your fathers. In the case of fatherless girls, you are to bring your ballots in to on of the Church Elders to be filled out for you.

    Also, don't forget to bring in the ballots from your servants. We can't run the risk of one of them voting against Jesus this time. I'm still furious about the 2 votes that Obama got in the last election from a certain Reverend's kitchen staff.


    For all Silver Tithers and below: Please bring your ballots in to me (or the True Christian™ Pastor nearest you) by noon today. Unless and until you can demonstrate that you have been sufficiently Blessed by God, you are commanded to obey your pastors.

    Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
    13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

    Amazing, simply amazing.
    The 100% SURE winner of the Freehold 2024 election. Let's make Freehold GREAT again!
    • Godfly: "TrueChristian™ friends. Maybe the things Mr. King says are true."
    • Johny Joe Hold: "my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits"
    • C. Reconstruction: "you are sincere"
    NOT endorsed by Donald Trump!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

      Originally posted by Alfred King View Post
      Amazing, simply amazing.
      It is amazing that one man cares so very much about his congregation. Yes I will agree Pastor Ezekiel is amazing.
      Praise Jesus.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

        I agree with mr. King. Amazing, to what lengths you will go to manipulate the elections to favor the will of a minority over that of the majority, Zeke.

         Psst...all women of Freehold, has everyone of you got her fa-ke-absentee ballot? If you haven't, ask your contact person right now. We will make sure you get to the office before your husband does. And don't worry about the empty threats of, for example, Miss Cookie, there will be officials from the State of Iowa present, you will have the opportunity to vote. They will pay no attention to Cookie's own, made-up election regulations.
        An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

        And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


        Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

          Cassie and Mr. King. I am sure you both know, God gave us Free will to choose the path we want to take in life. To live the happiest of possible lives, ideally, we will always take to best fork in the road.
          Cassie, you of all people should know what happens when you take the wrong fork.
          So, to minimize hardship, we read the Bible for guidance. There are times when the fog of life is so thick that the Words of the Bible(tm) are not clear. Those times, we turn to our trusted Pastors. They have a burning desire to ensure everyone in their flock is on the right path to Salvation(c).
          In closing, to think that a Pastor has any ulterior motives regarding us is very upsetting Cassie and Mr. King. They have been guiding me along the good True Christian(tm) path all my life. You Cassie, as a prisoner in jail for suspected drug charges (and think about what heartache you are causing Mrs. Johnson), and Mr. King, I know the investigation is still going regarding you. Who should be believe, a pious icon of religion like the Pastor or gang bangers like you two?
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

            Your concerns are well founded Mr. Hutchins but remember they will be judged by God and the Church, not a civil court, after the elections finish.

            It is already preordained that Biblical Law will prevail in Freehold.
            sigpic

            Ted Cruz in 2016 is the only hope for America. He is an anoited member of the Seven Mountains Movement. God and Jesus demand no less from real Christians and Americans.

            Ephesians 6:11-13
            11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
            12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
            13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

            The state is a bankrupt institution. The only alternative to this bankrupt 'humanistic' system is a God-centered government. R.J. Rushdoony, Reconstructionist Theologian.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

              Originally posted by C. Reconstruction View Post
              Your concerns are well founded Mr. Hutchins but remember they will be judged by God and the Church, not a civil court, after the elections finish.

              It is already preordained that Biblical Law will prevail in Freehold.
              I fully understand this but I had to put in words that a heathen like Cassie and a blasphemer like King would understand. We all know the final ruling is by God.
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

                Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                In closing, to think that a Pastor has any ulterior motives regarding us is very upsetting Cassie and Mr. King.
                Of course he has these motives. One has to be blind not to see that. What he is doing here is illegal on so many levels I cannot even count them.
                The 100% SURE winner of the Freehold 2024 election. Let's make Freehold GREAT again!
                • Godfly: "TrueChristian™ friends. Maybe the things Mr. King says are true."
                • Johny Joe Hold: "my worthy opponent may have some admirable traits"
                • C. Reconstruction: "you are sincere"
                NOT endorsed by Donald Trump!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

                  Originally posted by Alfred King View Post
                  ...................I cannot even count them.
                  You cannot even count. And you wanted to be mayor. Despicable.
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

                    Originally posted by Miss Cassandra View Post
                    I agree with mr. King. Amazing, to what lengths you will go to manipulate the elections to favor the will of a minority over that of the majority, Zeke.

                     Psst...all women of Freehold, has everyone of you got her fa-ke-absentee ballot? If you haven't, ask your contact person right now. We will make sure you get to the office before your husband does. And don't worry about the empty threats of, for example, Miss Cookie, there will be officials from the State of Iowa present, you will have the opportunity to vote. They will pay no attention to Cookie's own, made-up election regulations.
                    That's PASTOR Ezekiel, Miss Cassie.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      That's PASTOR Ezekiel, Miss Cassie.
                      That's ACOLYTE DRUIDESS Cassandra, dear Pastor.
                      An it harm none, do what thou wilt.

                      And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you.


                      Why I'm no longer a Christian: how the Landover Baptist Church ruined my life!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Pastor's Announcement on the Elections

                        Originally posted by Miss Cassandra View Post
                        That's ACOLYTE DRUIDESS Cassandra, dear Pastor.
                        It says "hellbound witch slut" under your name.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        Previous template Next
                        Working...
                        X