[Jim Farmer]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

By the Grace of God, someday soon the chinks and the towelheads will be afraid to board planes. This means they will go back to keeping to themselves and not try to mingle with the Good and Godly Americans!

Hallelujah!
God is Good!
GOD is GOOD!
GOD IS GOOD!

With a little bit of luck, they may stop trying to take over Australia as their lebensraum. On the other hand, God will need to smite their boats too, if Tony Abbott ceases to be Prime Minister. Abbott has put a stop to all those boat people, by sending them back to where they belong. God will need to help Australia if Abbott is ever defeated in an election.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

That's because True Christian™ planes are lifted purely by prayers and carried by God's Will.

Beautiful thought. That God can lift planes by our prayers and by carried by God's will means God can push planes into the ocean or a mountain. He knows what he is doing.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

Brother Jim, your post yesterday was positively prescient!

There are several reasons why God may have chosen to smite this airline:
a) It's a gook airline and almost everyone on board was a gook
b) Somehow that heathen pom Richard Branson acquired an AirAsia hostess uniform and this is the result (ladies, please look away)

Only minutes ago, one of the bearded fool's planes was forced to return to Gatwick Airport in order to "implement a non-standard landing procedure". My boys assumed - quite reasonably - that this was Branson-speak for "crash" and so I encouraged them to watch the TV rolling news in the hope of seeing it live.

We were puzzled as to why God eventually chose to spare the Papist-named airline, but perhaps it was because its destination was in the U.S.A. (even if it was that hotbed of sin, Las Vegas). Maybe there were one or two True Christians™ aboard?

All in all it's been a disappointing couple of days for the boys. They found no traces of that gook plane and now this! I have encouraged them to be optimistic - who knows what good fortune may come to pass tomorrow? 2 Timothy 3:1.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

Sister Joanna,

Please, tell your boys to keep their eyes open! No-one has seen a trace of the plane in Sumatria so we cannot exclude any potential crash sites.

But there is more evidence of the direct involvement of Jesus!

GLORY!

An Indonesistanian family of 10 missed the plane narrowly. And they have a Christian name! Christianawati. This means that they are at least potential raw material for Salvation. And they KNOW IT!

"I was shocked to hear about it and cried. Maybe it is all god's plan that my family and I were not on the flight. It was a blessing in disguise," she said. "I hope that the plane is found and everyone is safe." Christianawati said she would be switching airlines.

They are absolute right. Jesus made the plane disappear but He prevented those worthy of saving from getting on the flight. He is astonishing in His Grace. He is Merciful. He shows His wrath and His Pity! This plane crash is a stupendous sign of God's love towards us, the True Christians™!!

2 Corinthians 1:9
But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:

Oh yes! 2015 is going to be an incredible year. The preliminary preparations for Second Coming are on their way and I have packed a small pouch with some necessities (KJV, toothbrush, band aid, change of underwear) that I carry with me all the time. If there be Rapture, I am ready any moment!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

An Indonesistanian family of 10 missed the plane narrowly. And they have a Christian name! Christianawati. This means that they are at least potential raw material for Salvation. And they KNOW IT!



They are absolute right. Jesus made the plane disappear but He prevented those worthy of saving from getting on the flight. He is astonishing in His Grace. He is Merciful. He shows His wrath and His Pity! This plane crash is a stupendous sign of God's love towards us, the True Christians™!!

2 Corinthians 1:9
But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead:

Oh yes! 2015 is going to be an incredible year. The preliminary preparations for Second Coming are on their way and I have packed a small pouch with some necessities (KJV, toothbrush, band aid, change of underwear) that I carry with me all the time. If there be Rapture, I am ready any moment!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

I find it especially nice that you get ready to meet our LORD in clean underwear. Of course the joy is very momentary, because you get white clothes Revelation 3:5-6

Anyway - THE LORD really gave those asians a chance to serve and kneel and pray. What a miracle! It is clear that THE GOD ALMIGHTY wanted to show the world, who rules.

Now it is high time to

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

Sister Joanna,

Please, tell your boys to keep their eyes open! No-one has seen a trace of the plane in Sumatria so we cannot exclude any potential crash sites.

I think we can probably exclude it being on our property. The "search team" was out from lunchtime until long after dark, but all we have to show for it is a game larder full of pheasants, a couple of hares and a Canada goose. Are Canada geese even edible? Oh, and a couple of our neighbor's dogs won't be bothering us again.

Interesting about the Christianawati family, but she needs to pray for guidance on the airline switch:

".... we shall just stick to Garuda Indonesia," she said.

The words frying-pan and fire spring to mind.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

I think we can probably exclude it being on our property. The "search team" was out from lunchtime until long after dark, but all we have to show for it is a game larder full of pheasants, a couple of hares and a Canada goose. Are Canada geese even edible? Oh, and a couple of our neighbor's dogs won't be bothering us again...

Dear Sister,

I trust you. The search you've conducted seems thorough and meticulous. In fact, they are now concentrating on shallow seas. I surmise your boys could help with that one, too, because as far as I know, the seas around UK are quite shallow.

The waters in the area are generally shallow, with depths of no more than 60 meters (197 feet) and warm temperatures that make diving easier.

Matthew 7:7
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Canada goose makes a nice roast but what is wrong with pure-blood US geese? However, as it has already been shot, you could try the recipe over here. Ask your husband if it is palatable and I might command my wife prepare it for me, too. I'm a bit peckish after all this exhausting planning for the Rapture.

Ingredients:
- 1 apple
- 2 small onions
- 2 stalks of celery
- salt
- pepper
- poultry seasoning
- garlic salt
- olive oil
- 1 large, plucked and cleaned Canada goose

Place the goose in a roasting pan on it's back. Rub the bird all over with the olive oil. Season the goose with the pepper, salt, poultry seasoning, and garlic salt as you please. Next, chop the apple, celery, and onions into chunks. Stuff them into the body cavity of the bird. Put the goose in the oven, uncovered, and roast at 350 degrees for about 25 minutes a pound, or until a meat thermometer reads 165 degrees in the thickest breast meat. When finished, remove stuffing and throw it away. Remove skin and feast!

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

Sadly U.S. geese don't come over here, only the Canukistani ones, fleeing their Godless country. That dish looks good, though I wouldn't waste the stuffing by throwing it away. An apple, a couple of onions and a bit of celery constitute a feast in Agnieszka's home village and she'd be delighted with it.

The boys are now in the attic fetching their diving gear, so I'll let you know what happens. This morning they just took snorkels and masks as usual (they swim daily, before breakfast) and brought some sort of jellyfish ashore. We made them leave it on the beach, assuming that it had been washed up from France and so was probably diseased. Some local oiks came by later and took a photo of themselves with it - here it is, in the local online newspaper.


I do wonder now whether it wasn't from France at all, but maybe from the ornamental airline's onboard catering pack. What do you think? It looks like the sort of thing they might eat.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

More and more signs. As the End of the Year approacheth, it is becoming more and more certain that the redemptory activities of Jesus are increasing exponentially.

Now He has crashed a plane in Africa somewhere in the Congo jungle.

Uvira mountains – At least six persons died after a plane flying from Uganda crashed into the Uvira mountains in the Democratic Republic of Congo’s east, a DR Congo official said Monday. The plane, which made a stop in the Burundian capital Bujumbura, crashed into the mountains on Sunday about four minutes after take-off, local government official Noella Nafranka said. “We don’t know how many passengers were on board,” Nafranka said. “All we know is that there were six crew members and the plane was charred, so there are at least six deaths.” The plane, whose flight path was confirmed by a Burundian official on condition of anonymity, was flying to Pointe-Noire in neighbouring Congo Brazzaville. The causes of the night accident and the nationalities of the victims were not clear. DR Congo has one of the world’s worst aviation safety records. About 50 of its airlines figure on a EU blacklist banning companies from flying within the European Union. [AFP]

You may ask why Jesus would choose to demolish a plane from relatively Godly Uganda? There is the possibility that the plane was filled with sinners trying to flee from the Biblical Wrath of God as dictated by the Legislative Organs in Uganda. Why would these homersinners try to escape? It would have been much easier to repent by signing into an ex-gay program! But God cannot be fooled! He smites the cowards!



Job 11:20
But the eyes of the wicked shall fail, and they shall not escape, and their hope shall be as the giving up of the ghost.

Once again Jesus kicks the bejeezuz out of sinners. It's been a while since I actually had happy expectations regarding the New Year. Now I have. Praise Jesus!


Yours in Christ,
Elmer

Edit: Sister Joanna. The jellyfish you found might not be from the AsiaAirlines plane after all. They are now searching the island of Borneoh for the aircraft. Don't go there. The place is filled with savages.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

Yes, it looks as though they've found it. The oddly-named head of the search, Bambang Soelistyo,has confirmed it:

God blessed us today. At 12:50 the air force Hercules found an object described as a shadow at the bottom of the sea in the form of a plane.

That's such an interesting indication of these people's total lack of understanding of what it means to be blessed by God. When He wishes to bless me, for example, He does so in a variety of small ways - a smile or a kind word from my husband, the birth of a baby boy - and of course in big ways, by giving me faith in His Holy love and the promise of eternity at the feet of Our Lord. I think I can say that He has never once "blessed" my family, or any True Christian(TM) of our acquaintance, by letting us find a load of bloated corpses floating in the sea.

Brother Elmer, there is no question of the boys going to Borneyo. Rule No. 1: never go anywhere that you can't point to on a map.

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

They talk about found half-naked bodies.
I wonder what has been going on that plane.

http://beforeitsnews.com/alternative/2014/12/airasia-plane-crash-debris-found-including-bodies-of-flight-qz-8501-news-update-12302014-video-3084764.html

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

The Ugandites mentioned by Brother Elmer may be reaching out for God, but they are, in fact, Negroes. It is unwise to allow Negroes to operate any kind of machinery, especially airplanes, which may fall from the sky if not operated properly, as happened in this case.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

The oddly-named head of the search, Bambang Soelistyo,has confirmed it:

The head of the search was named for the very sound the plane would have made? The Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways. Praise Him!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

I believe that the question now, in as much as the Lord's will is now obvious, is: How in the world will we get all those Chinamen on airplanes and do they have enough room for everyone?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Jesus slays more unbelievers: another plane disappears. Glory!

I believe that the question now, in as much as the Lord's will is now obvious, is: How in the world will we get all those Chinamen on airplanes and do they have enough room for everyone?

Well, the slogan of AirAsia is "Now everyone can fly", so it shouldn't be a problem.