X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

    Now satan is commanding his troops to throw parts of their guts at America's First Responders! No True Christian(tm) would engage in such behavior, unless Jesus commanded it!

    Wayne Carter Threw Intestines At Officers After Stabbing Himself, Police Say

    A New Jersey man allegedly cut out his entrails in front of police and then threw bits of his flesh and intestines at them.

    The gruesome scene played out at a home in Hackensack, N.J., where 43-year-old Wayne Carter allegedly barricaded himself in on Sunday, NBC New York reported.

    Officers got a call that morning when a witness said Carter was threatening to harm himself with a knife. Two cops responded, kicked in the door and found Carter in the corner, the station reported.

    Carter allegedly ignored officers' orders to put down the knife, and instead began stabbing himself in the abdomen, neck and legs.

    An attempt to pepper spray the bleeding man had no effect, the Associated Press reported.

    That's when Carter -- disemboweled but responsive -- reportedly threw bits of his skin and intestines at the officers.

    They decided to retreat and call in the Bergen County SWAT team, Hackensack police Lt. John Heinemann told reporters. The team was able to subdue Carter and get him to a hospital, where he remained in critical condition on Monday.

    Heinemann said he believes that drugs or mental illness may have led to the horrific incident, but those details haven't been confirmed.

    No charges have yet been filed due to the unusual nature of the incident.
    No charges filed!? I guess that's what you get with a pickanninie in the White House who supports the radical gay agenda!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

    Is this the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse?
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
      Is this the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse?
      We need to have laws passed against this reverse rape. As you can see, there is some sort of loophole in the law. If queers are going to turn themselves inside out just to get the sensation of anal sex, there needs to be consequences.
      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

        Zombie apocalypse events in May, presented geographically. I've got my chainsaw, do you?

        https://maps.google.com/maps/ms?msid=209024629401219254673.0004c14289ddb99ec369 c&msa=0&ie=UTF8&ll=34.125448%2C-86.264648&spn=23.65709%2C39.594727&t=m&source=embe d
        May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

          My guns are loaded...


          Did anyone ever try to BBQ a Zombie?



          Revelation 9:1-6


          And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit.

          And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit.

          And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth: and unto them was given power, as the scorpions of the earth have power.

          And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God in their foreheads.

          And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.

          And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

            Thy dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise. Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.
            Isaiah 26:19

            And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.
            Revelation 20:12

            And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.
            Revelation 20:13


            OH GLORY! Does this mean JESUS is coming SOON!!!

            For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

            Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
            1 Thessalonians 4:16-17


            OH OH OH!

            I can hardly walk!

            I'm shaking as I type!

            To think, my SAVIOR is coming to get me SO SOON!

            OH!

            So much to do! So little time! I still have to make arrangements for our cat!

            (here's a link for those of you who also need pets cared for after the Rapture: http://www.aftertherapturepetcare.com/)
            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

              Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
              Brother, all I get is a plain Google map.

              Aren't they all in Miami, though?
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                When in a zombocalypse a chain saw is not a very good weapon. It is loud, heavy, prone to running out of fuel and a danger to yourself and non-zombie combatants.

                When Zach comes a calling you need an crow bar: reasonable light, durable over multiple encounters, decent reach, heavy enough to cave in Z's skull and you can use it as a crow bar.

                Guns just draw Zach's attention so when it happens, a good right arm, Jesus and crow bar will see you through.

                YIC
                1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                  The first link didn't work but this one should:
                  Newsweek & The Daily Beast is tracking news of instances that may be the precursor to a zombie apocalypse. Blue pins represent suspicious incidences or infections, while red pins represent acts of strange violence. Find a news story we might be interested in adding to this map? Leave a comment.
                  Last edited by Nobar King; 06-01-2012, 08:14 PM. Reason: please change links that don't work
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                    Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                    The first link didn't work but this one should:
                    http://goo.gl/maps/480k
                    Ahh, I see. Thank you! And how nice that Newsweek is doing this for us:

                    Newsweek & The Daily Beast is tracking news of instances that may be the precursor to a zombie apocalypse. Blue pins represent suspicious incidences or infections, while red pins represent acts of strange violence.
                    Almost all are east coast. No surprise there.

                    It sure looks like there's something funky going on in Florida, though.
                    Bible boring? Nonsense!
                    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

                      It sure looks like there's something funky going on in Florida, though.
                      Too many journalists, obviously.
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                        Too many journalists, obviously.
                        well, they are mindless and like to spread vile-ness. They could be zombies!
                        Bible boring? Nonsense!
                        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                          Good news, the CDC has announced there are no zombies.



                          "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," wrote agency spokesman David Daigle in an email to The Huffington Post. "There is absolutely no government cover-up."
                          So we can all relax.
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                            Good news, the CDC has announced there are no zombies.





                            So we can all relax.
                            Like I trust the liberal Obama government to tell the truth.

                            GWB would have told us, I'm sure about that.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Satan Commanding Zombies to Attack!

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Like I trust the liberal Obama government to tell the truth.

                              GWB would have told us, I'm sure about that.
                              When the evacuation orders come and they direct all the Christians to some stadium in the middle of town, I'll be making for the countryside!

                              I ain't no Zed bait.
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X