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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78551
    #1

    Reminder: Never Order The French Onion Soup

    Brothers and sisters in Christ, THIS is just a reminder to NEVER order the French Onion soup, as they have begun slipping obscene objects in there.

    Man finds condom in French onion soup

    SANTA ANA, Calif. – A man has sued a local Claim Jumper restaurant claiming he ordered French onion soup and bit into a condom instead of melted cheese. Zdenek Philip Hodousek filed the lawsuit Tuesday in Orange County Superior Court seeking unspecified damages over fears he may have contracted a disease.

    Hodousek's attorney Eric Traut said his client wants to have restaurant employees' DNA tested to find a match to the condom.

    A public relations firm representing Claim Jumper said no one can prove the so-called "foreign object" Hodousek took from the restaurant is the item that was submitted to a lab for testing.

    The firm said an internal probe revealed no employee wrongdoing.
    Of course there was no employee wrongdoing. It was the French who put it in!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • Nobar King
      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
      Christ's Guardian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2007
      • 23748
      #2
      Re: Reminder: Never Order The French Onion Soup

      Can someone please explain to me why someone would name his restaurant 'Claim Jumper'?
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment

        • Marshall
          Righteous and Patriotic
          Highest body count at the VFW
          True Christian™
          • Oct 2006
          • 3322
          #3
          Re: Reminder: Never Order The French Onion Soup

          A French resteraunt that spikes their food with semen? I am not surprised at all.
          Sounds like the wrapper they use to store their "secret ingredient" fell into the food. Don't worry though, they're French so there are plenty of gays and sailors to get more from. Nasty people.
          God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

            Comment

            • Rev. Jim Osborne
              True Christian™ Televangelist
              Director of Fundraising and Tithing
              On the Look Out for Wife #6!
              True Christian™
              • Jun 2009
              • 8622
              #4
              Re: Reminder: Never Order The French Onion Soup

              Well, having lived in California for most of my life, I have been to Claim Jumper and it's actually a fine restaurant. I don't usually go to the one in Santa Ana since it's kind of a Mexicany area, though. Claim Jumper is a restaurant based around a 19th century lumberjack gold-mining Yukon type theme. What the restaurant is known for is the huge portions they serve you and a man of my girth and appetite really appreciates that!

              I used to go in there and get the chicken fried steak with mashed potatoes and corn-on-the-cob. Wash it down with a couple ice cold Sam Adams. That's a real nice hearty meal, lemme tell ya.

              Most likely, this condom affair is an isolated incident. I've never had a problem with Claim Jumper. Perhaps the customer was being a total pain in the neck (He is a foreigner after all) and the restaurant wanted to let him know.
              Last edited by Rev. Jim Osborne; 07-24-2009, 02:06 AM.

              Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

                Comment

                • Bryan Tamariki
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Aug 2007
                  • 285
                  #5
                  Re: Reminder: Never Order The French Onion Soup

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  Brothers and sisters in Christ, THIS is just a reminder to NEVER order the French Onion soup, as they have begun slipping obscene objects in there.
                  French Onion soup = Surrender Monkey Catlick Homer soup .
                  The 'onion' is the giveaway - as most Christian men I know only eat only one vegetable and that is God's potato!
                  Joshua 24:15
                  And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

                    Comment

                    • Nobar King
                      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                      Christ's Guardian
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 23748
                      #6
                      Re: Reminder: Never Order The French Onion Soup

                      Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                      Most likely, this condom affair is an isolated incident. I've never had a problem with Claim Jumper. Perhaps the customer was being a total pain in the neck (He is a foreigner after all) and the restaurant wanted to let him know.
                      Sometimes people put stuff in their own food in order to get a free meal or some publicity.
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                        Comment

                        • James Hutchins
                          True Christian™
                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                           
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 29433
                          #7
                          Re: Reminder: Never Order The French Onion Soup

                          Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                          Sometimes people put stuff in their own food in order to get a free meal or some publicity.
                          Maybe they just had sex in the soup, Many different kinds of perverts out there.
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                            Comment

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