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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555
    #1

    First Ever Sighting: Jesus Shaped Cancer!

    Praise Jesus and Glory to God!. How many of us are lucky enough to get Jesus shaped cancer in our lungs!?

    First-ever sighting of Jesus in a lung

    In another brilliant investigative report from the Annals of Improbable Research, we find Jesus lurking in . . . a functional magnetic resonance image of a lung?

    Images from a thoracic spine examination by Christopher Vittore and Kevin Tribble, radiologists in Rockford, Ilinois and clinical assistant professors at University of Illinois College of Medicine. MRI technologist, Deb Savala assisted with the technical data. This was performed on an open MRI machine, a General Electric Signa 0.35 Tesla MRI scanner.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: cancer, god gives liberals cancer, jesus
    • Nobar King
      Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
      Christ's Guardian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2007
      • 23748
      #2
      Re: First Ever Sighting: Jesus Shaped Cancer!

      If I have to get cancer, that's the one I'm going to want.
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

        Comment

        • Rev. Jim Osborne
          True Christian™ Televangelist
          Director of Fundraising and Tithing
          On the Look Out for Wife #6!
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2009
          • 8622
          #3
          Re: First Ever Sighting: Jesus Shaped Cancer!

          This reminds me of one of the plagues of Egypt, where God punished the Egyptians by giving them cancer.

          Exodus 9:9           And it shall become small dust in all the land of Egypt, and shall be a boil [tumor] breaking forth with blains upon man, and upon beast, throughout all the land of Egypt.

          No doubt this man in the x-ray is a sinner and Jesus Himself personally gave him cancer. But, in His infinite mercy, He also put an image of Himself in the cancer so that man will know exactly who gave it to him. Hopefully, the patient will heed the warning and accept Christ as a savior before his lungs are eaten away.

          Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

            Comment

            • The Hand
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2010
              • 419
              #4
              Re: First Ever Sighting: Jesus Shaped Cancer!

              How much more proof to the heathens need? It's an open and shut case.
              May the call of Jihad be forever outshined, outmatched, and outlasted by the The LORD's Crusade, to the end of eternity and the extinction of mortal flesh. Let those who march against it in His name be as giants - pure of heart, strong of body, honored, invulnerable. May those warriors be burning stars in the firmament of battle, angels of death on shining wings, bringing swift annihilation to the enemies of CHRIST. Amen.

                Comment

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