WANTED: Entry-level Poolboy

[H. Montague Worthington]

I'm looking for a young Asian boy, 18-23, to tend my pool full time at my compound in North Freehold. Applicant must SPEEEKY THE ENGLISH, have a smooth swimmer's build, dark hair, smooth complexion, toned body (but not too muscular), wiry, with a slight voice, and willing to call me Master Monty. You will live in the Cabana, wear formal dress for dinner, and never make eye contact with my wife.

Salary and Benefits: $100 a week, room and board, an occaisional new outfit, frequent trips to the doctor, some getting-around money, 401 (k).

Apply via e-mail to: discreet45@hotmail.com

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: WANTED: Entry-level Poolboy

I hope my Iraqi pool boy doesn't see your ad, because I'm only paying $50 dinars a week.

[Deaner]

Re: WANTED: Entry-level Poolboy

You gotta be careful of those pool boys. If they're a little too fresh off the boat before you know it they have their whole family living in there wearing snorkels and chasing the water bugs. Supposedly it's not much different than living on the rice paddies back home.

[Larry Lee]

Re: WANTED: Entry-level Poolboy

I'm looking for a young Asian boy, 18-23, to tend my pool full time at my compound in North Freehold. Applicant must SPEEEKY THE ENGLISH, have a smooth swimmer's build, dark hair, smooth complexion, toned body (but not too muscular), wiry, with a slight voice, and willing to call me Master Monty. You will live in the Cabana, wear formal dress for dinner, and never make eye contact with my wife.

Salary and Benefits: $100 a week, room and board, an occaisional new outfit, frequent trips to the doctor, some getting-around money, 401 (k).

Apply via e-mail to: discreet45@hotmail.com

Good luck, Brother. Entry level positions are sometimes hard to fill.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: WANTED: Entry-level Poolboy

Brother Worthington, the young man who accepts your position will be blessed to find himself in such a fine Christian home as yours. In fact, I'm sure that you'll be just like a daddy to him.