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How to avoid selling Iowa corn to sinners!
Where does our Iowa corn go? It's time to think about this, so that we are not guilty of participating in sin. Here's a list of products we should NOT allow Iowa corn to become:
CORN DOGS: as if weiners are not suggestive enough, some pervert decided to give them a foreskin. A particularly vile image of Michelle Bachman eating a corn dog has been credited with killing her presidential campaign:
Seriously, if she ever becomes president we will see scandals that will make MonicaGate look petty and irrelevent by comparism.
FOOD AID: spoiling foreigners, encouraging them to breed, immigrate, fake birth certificates, and become president. Foreigners, if you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!
CANDY: corn is often turned into high-Fructose Corn Syrup, which is turned into candy like Skittles.
CORN ON THE COB: used as a grooming tool for perverts seeking oral sex.
MEXICAN FOOD: eaten by liberals to appease the invaders, and eaten by Mexicans as part of their plan to destroy American culture (the "reconquista").
POPCORN: Especially if made by Orville Redenbacher.
What else?
CORN DOGS: as if weiners are not suggestive enough, some pervert decided to give them a foreskin. A particularly vile image of Michelle Bachman eating a corn dog has been credited with killing her presidential campaign:
Seriously, if she ever becomes president we will see scandals that will make MonicaGate look petty and irrelevent by comparism.
FOOD AID: spoiling foreigners, encouraging them to breed, immigrate, fake birth certificates, and become president. Foreigners, if you can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em!
CANDY: corn is often turned into high-Fructose Corn Syrup, which is turned into candy like Skittles.
CORN ON THE COB: used as a grooming tool for perverts seeking oral sex.
MEXICAN FOOD: eaten by liberals to appease the invaders, and eaten by Mexicans as part of their plan to destroy American culture (the "reconquista").
POPCORN: Especially if made by Orville Redenbacher.
What else?
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