Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

[Faith_Machine]

I am made very uncomfortable by the sight of a lady eating corn on the cob, so much so that I try to avert my eyes every time it happens in my presence.



Corn on the cob is nothing more than a phallic symbol slathered in butter, and the site of women masticating such suggestively shaped food is something to which no man should subject himself.

Worse yet, it acclimates women to the sensations associated with oral sodomy.

Why can't we return to the good old days when books of etiquette clearly proscribed such behavior?

Here's a passage from the indispensable Hints on Etiquette and The Usages of Society; With a Glance at Bad Habits, by Charles William Day, 1843.




I couldn't have said it better myself!

Though the Bible doesn't dwell much on a subject as disturbing as oral sex (why would it?), I feel the following passage is quite relevant:

Colossians 3:5

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

Are you prepared to mortify those ears of corn, which are nothing less than pretend members? I certainly hope so!

[Cheria]

Eating Corn on the Cob is NOT Training for Oral Sex!

Wow. just.. wow.

Is this for real?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is NOT Training for Oral Sex!

Is this for real?

What? Now you don't believe in corn?

Are you saying Brother FM photoshopped these pictures.

The woman is clearly behaving in a very slutty way. So much so that I'm going to retreat to my prayer closet.

Disgusting!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is NOT Training for Oral Sex!

Wow. just.. wow.

Is this for real?

Cheria, I know it may be hard, at first, to come to grips with the fact that an activity you've probably engaged in your whole life is utterly disgusting, but the facts are what they are.

So yes, Cheria, this is very, very real.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

It even looks like there's a Corn cult!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

Cheria, I'm looking and looking, and I can't find your introductory thread. Could you please provide a link to it so I can get to know you better?

In a strictly platonic way, of course.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

It even looks like there's a Corn cult!

Dear Heavens, that is most disturbing!

[Cheria]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

Cheria, I know it may be hard, at first, to come to grips with the fact that an activity you've probably engaged in your whole life is utterly disgusting, but the facts are what they are.

What? What facts?

I have not made an introductory thread.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

What? What facts?

I have not made an introductory thread.

Well I strongly suggest you get yourself to the introductory forum and do so! I'm looking forward to hearing all about your walk with Jesus!

[Cheria]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

Well I strongly suggest you get yourself to the introductory forum and do so! I'm looking forward to hearing all about your walk with Jesus!

I would but I get a message saying;

You have been banned for the following reason:
Sassing back

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

I would but I get a message saying;

You have been banned for the following reason:
Sassing back

Hmmm...

It's a bit confusing that you claim to have been banned, yet you are able to post here. I suggest you contact a Landover pastor and pray about this.

Have you been tithing regularly?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

Something tells me this young strumpet has been banned before from our loving forum and rather than learning from our loving rebuke and taking it as a chance to be washed clean from virtual sin and learn the Truth and start clean and anew she is going on another trip round the merry go round of being a hateful mocker.
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[Faith_Machine]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

I will pray that you are mistaken, but I fear that you are not.

[Bible Thumping Billy]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

Oh my! That is truly disturbing the way she lathers it up with butter and sticks it in her mouth like the whore she is. Lord have mercy on my eyes. It's like those faggots gripping their bananas with lust in their eyes, some of them even make disgusting noises whilst performing these gateway sodomizing acts.

Thank you for shedding some light on these things Brother Faith_Machine, we can't simply stand by and watch people perform these gateway sodomies.

[abdklmw]

Re: Eating Corn on the Cob is Training for Oral Sex!

I am made very uncomfortable by the sight of a lady eating corn on the cob, so much so that I try to avert my eyes every time it happens in my presence.

...

Corn on the cob is nothing more than a phallic symbol slathered in butter, and the site of women masticating such suggestively shaped food is something to which no man should subject himself.

Worse yet, it acclimates women to the sensations associated with oral sodomy.

Why can't we return to the good old days when books of etiquette clearly proscribed such behavior?

Here's a passage from the indispensable Hints on Etiquette and The Usages of Society; With a Glance at Bad Habits, by Charles William Day, 1843.

...

I couldn't have said it better myself!

Though the Bible doesn't dwell much on a subject as disturbing as oral sex (why would it?), I feel the following passage is quite relevant:



Are you prepared to mortify those ears of corn, which are nothing less than pretend members? I certainly hope so!

1. If you really do have a problem with it, I question the wisdom of you posting a picture of the very thing which you say offends you, or rather makes you "very uncomfortable".

2. The LEAST bit of common sense should tell you that the act of eating corn is only in the very remotest of ways like that or performing oral sex. I trust most of us are adults and know or can imagine what that act would look like, so I will not lay out the specifics.

3. Furthermore, I challenge you to come up with examples where this is IN FACT intentionally used for the purpose of acclimating a woman to the sensations. You would have more grounds to say this of using a tooth brush. Do you advocate that women lay aside their tooth brushes? After all, the parrallels are much more pronounced than with corn! Need I lay out examples?


In summary, I suggest that, if eating of corn on the cob brings to mind oral sex, that you reflect long and hard on where your heart truly is and have a genuine "come to Jesus" meeting. If this continues to occur to you, then that would strongly indicate to me that you are allowing your mind to wander to things to which you ought not let it. Gaurd your thoughts from wandering to such sinful places. Additionally, do not place stumbling blocks int he path of your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ which should not be there.


Congratulations, you have just been lovingly reproved by a brother in Christ.