CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Since nobody else is starting the thread . . . I'm looking at you, Brother F-M

SausageFest was a raging success this year! I particularly enjoyed Brother Billy Bob's "Burns ya twice" bratwurst!

Next up on the calendar is CornCon.

The harvest will be in, there will be fresh corn on the cob . . . cornbread . . . corndogs . . . corn pudding . . . creamed corn . . . and don't forget the Cornhole competition!

What's your favorite thing to do at CornCon? Me, I love getting together with the guys for an afternoon of Cornholing.



Ladies, what treats will you be whipping up for us?

[Didymus Much]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

Though I will not be able to attend (my passport has expired or something) may I offer my services to design a medal for the CobGobbling competition? I heard that the winners from previous years were awarded a pearl necklace, but they don't show well when reduced to icon size (~25 pixels or less).

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

Though I will not be able to attend (my passport has expired or something) may I offer my services to design a medal for the CobGobbling competition? I heard that the winners from previous years were awarded a pearl necklace, but they don't show well when reduced to icon size (~25 pixels or less).

Ah, and a title, "Top CobGobbler", might be nice.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

Reverend Rodimer, I'm sorry I didn't start a thread. I've been agonizing over this matter for quite some time, debating with myself whether I should even say anything, but I guess you've forced my hand, so I may as well get this off my chest and let the chips fall where they may.

To be brutally honest with you, I have a concern. You may recall an old thread of mine in which I proved conclusively that eating corn on the cob can lead to oral sex.

I hate to be the "Debbie Downer" who rains on the CornCon parade, but I strongly feel the organizers should consider one of two options:

1) Ban all corn-on-the cob eating, restricting the event to creamed corn, corn meal, corn-off-the-cob, and whatnot.

or

2) Restrict attendance to men only, specifically men who are certified True Christians™ who are known to be strong in their walks with Jesus. No women, no children, no queers, and no unsaved persons.

I realize either option would dramatically alter the character of this event, and I'm very sorry I waited until the last possible moment to bring this up. I will be praying that the Lord will be with the organizers of CornCon and guide them in their decision-making process.

[James Hutchins]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

You can count on the Hutchins family in whipping up their famous creamed corn, both varieties (twice ground and hand churned butter soaked).

Of course, only male members in good standing will be there. I so do love a good husking circle!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

Reverend Rodimer, I'm sorry I didn't start a thread. I've been agonizing over this matter for quite some time, debating with myself whether I should even say anything, but I guess you've forced my hand, so I may as well get this off my chest and let the chips fall where they may.

To be brutally honest with you, I have a concern. You may recall an old thread of mine in which I proved conclusively that eating corn on the cob can lead to oral sex.

I hate to be the "Debbie Downer" who rains on the CornCon parade, but I strongly feel the organizers should consider one of two options:

1) Ban all corn-on-the cob eating, restricting the event to creamed corn, corn meal, corn-off-the-cob, and whatnot.

or

2) Restrict attendance to men only, specifically men who are certified True Christians™ who are known to be strong in their walks with Jesus. No women, no children, no queers, and no unsaved persons.

I realize either option would dramatically alter the character of this event, and I'm very sorry I waited until the last possible moment to bring this up. I will be praying that the Lord will be with the organizers of CornCon and guide them in their decision-making process.

Are you suggesting, Brother, that the fine True Christian™ Ladies of Landover could be tempted into sin by a "Best CobGobbler" contest?

Is that what you're suggesting of Sister Mary Etheldreda?

Is that what you think of Mistress Cookie and innocent little Felicity?

Is it your opinion that Mrs. Betty Bowers herself would be turned into a semen-gargling gutter whore by sinking her perfectly polished teeth into a plump, juicy ear of God's bounty?

Well? Is it?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

It is my opinion that the men of the Landover Baptist Church should protect the women and children so that Satan never has an opportunity to provide us with answers to those lurid and disturbing questions!

[Felicity]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

My father never lets me eat vegetables, my grandfather says Satan only invented those to destroy my soul.

[Godfly]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

It is my opinion that the men of the Landover Baptist Church should protect the women and children so that Satan never has an opportunity to provide us with answers to those lurid and disturbing questions!

I think your overreacting brother. CornCon is nothing more than wholesome family fun. A good example is the CobCatch, where young boys and girls have to catch a hot buttered cob of corn that's been thrown in the air using anything but their hands. My oldest daughter came in third last year.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

I think your overreacting brother. CornCon is nothing more than wholesome family fun. A good example is the CobCatch, where young boys and girls have to catch a hot buttered cob of corn that's been thrown in the air using anything but their hands. My oldest daughter came in third last year.

She is quite the little CobCatcher, isn't she?

And wasn't your second son the top CobGobbler?

[Godfly]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

She is quite the little CobCatcher, isn't she?

And wasn't your second son the top CobGobbler?

They never proved that boy was mine.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

They never proved that boy was mine.

I thought you'd be proud to father a master CobGobbler. It was like he had no gag reflex at all!

Sorry.

[Godfly]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

I thought you'd be proud to father a master CobGobbler. It was like he had no gag reflex at all!

Sorry.

Every time a Mexican shoots out a white baby the rumor starts that he's kin to me. That boy is the grounds keeper at the RV park.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

Every time a Mexican shoots out a white baby the rumor starts that he's kin to me. That boy is the grounds keeper at the RV park.

Oh, the one you own, just outside the wall? How kind of you to give a job to a mongrelized bastard instead of a fine True Christian(tm).

Say, how did that fellow get into CornCon, anyway?

[Godfly]

Re: CornCon, September 21-23, 2012

Oh, the one you own, just outside the wall? How kind of you to give a job to a mongrelized bastard instead of a fine True Christian™.

Say, how did that fellow get into CornCon, anyway?

Someone had to carry my deck chair and umbrella. The sun can be cruel to a bald man's scalp. I'll keep him on leash if he comes this year.