[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

Thank you Brothers, your passion sustains our vision. One day, before long, we will finally be rid of all the things holding us back from Greatness Again.

Now that the Clown of Oz is out of the way, the path is even clearer. I've been thinking of releasing my memoirs (Vol. 1) to generate The Buzz for another run at the Senate or House, or a Governorship, I haven't decided. So far I've got the title: How I Did It - My Story in My Own Words With Introduction and Commentary by Me.

I'll probably just get one of those voice recording devices and attach it to my brain for a few hours and get Miss. Cookie to transcribe it all down. They drive me crazy sometimes! Then I'll print it and send it off to the publisher. Worked for Trump.

President Trump - The Collected Speeches (2017-2020) Extended Edition
29 collected speeches of President Trump from 2017 to 2020 including his Inaugural Address, three State of the Union addresses, speeches to Congress, three speeches before the United Nations and one at the World Economic Forum. This consolidated set also includes remarks on a range of topics throughout the 2017-2020 Presidential term, including American energy, Iran, the US southern border, the opioid crisis, the coronavirus and the police force.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

I've been thinking of releasing my memoirs (Vol. 1) to generate The Buzz for another run at the Senate or House, or a Governorship, I haven't decided.

Any idea which state you're going to run in? I took the liberty of glancing over the 2024 electoral scene and came up with a few openings you might pursue.


Senator - Indiana
Senator Mike Braun intends to run for governor rather than reelection in 2024. This leaves an opening for another Republican to take the seat. It would be your only opportunity to enter a primary without facing an incumbent. Whether you could win the general election is less certain, as Braun himself had defeated an incumbent Democrat in 2018 by a narrow margin, though Indiana has been trending Republican in recent years.


Senator - West Virginia
This may actually be a better shot. It's a narrow Democrat hold so the primary will be competitive and crowded but without an incumbent. Joe Manchin, the ire of the regressive left, won in 2018 with less than 50% of the vote. West Virginia's other Senator, Shelly Moore Capito, won reelection in 2020 with 70% of the vote and took every single county in the state. If you could win the primary, you'd stand a solid chance of taking down Manchin and flipping a Senate seat red (though you would have to spend some time in West Virginia, so there are drawbacks to this option).


Senator - Utah
This route to elected office would require a primary challenge to a powerful and nationally-known incumbent - Mitt Romney. He's a RINO so your insurgent campaign against him would get you support from MAGA Republicans all over the country. Given that Mormons are a little over half of Utah's population, you'd have to refrain from attacking Romney from this angle. However, if you could topple Romney, the general election would be in the bag - the Democrats didn't even bother to field a candidate in the 2022 Senate election in Utah.


Representative - North Carolina 11th District
This district is currently represented by stalwart MAGA Republican Madison Cawthorn. However he's a lame duck, having been defeated in the primary by some boring guy named Chuck Edwards, a former McDonald's executive. Clearly some of Cawthorn's more embarassing millennial tendencies embarassed the good people of North Carolina's 11th to the extent that they felt an adult (with working legs) needed to take over. However, they are apparently also fine with fire-breathing, bomb-throwing MAGA Republicanism, so maybe those ideologies personified by an older, more distinguished gentleman such as yourself would be more palatable. This would require a primary challenge to an incumbent, but I'm sure you could out-MAGA him and get the crucial Trump endorsement.


Representative - Iowa 4th District
This is a solid Republican district in Landover's own Iowa, currently represented by Randy Feenstra. This guy doesn't matter, what matters is the guy he replaced: Steve King. A truly great man, a MAGA stalwart with a national profile, he was cruelly rejected by his own party in 2020. However, he'd won by large margins in the past even after national liberal media sources called him a white supremacist and a racist. If you could take down Feenstra in the primary (and Iowa resident Pastor Ezekiel Flint's endorsement would surely help here), you would be assured of victory in the general election.


Governor - Missouri
This state's Republican governor is term-limited, you could probably have a chance here. IDK, like all Americans, state politics bore me. Moving on.


Delegate - U.S. Virgin Islands at-large
This is a more unorthodox option, but hear me out. Something about the name of this place sounds like it would draw your attention, not sure why. This seat (which is apparently just a Representative without a vote) is currently held by a Democrat who helped in the impeachment of Trump and is therefore in need of punishment. Just imagine the awe and spectacle you'd have on the benighted savages of that tropical land, a glorious White man of wealth and sophistication walking amongst the primitives. Prince Philip was deified for less, you'd be sure to win. And from there to bigger and better things.


Secretary of Health and Human Services
This is not an elected position so you wouldn't have to campaign or anything, and I'm sure Pastor Zeke would put in a good word. I would've thought Dr. Oz would be a good fit for this position in the next Trump administration, that is until he turned out to be a LOSER. You could bring your own expertise as a chiropractor, an anti-vaxxer, and a promoter of alternative medicine (Biblical, not that New Age hippie crap) - medical perspectives which have been disappointingly lacking at the highest levels.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

Any idea which state you're going to run in? I took the liberty of glancing over the 2024 electoral scene and came up with a few openings you might pursue.

Thank you Brother, this is what I'm talking about. The effort and dedication of people like you to do all the work and hand me a 1-page summary so I can make a random decision based on the font, or some trivial detail so it looks like I read it and considered it, is what's going to take us over the top.

Senator - West Virginia
This may actually be a better shot. It's a narrow Democrat hold so the primary will be competitive and crowded but without an incumbent. Joe Manchin, the ire of the regressive left, won in 2018 with less than 50% of the vote. West Virginia's other Senator, Shelly Moore Capito, won reelection in 2020 with 70% of the vote and took every single county in the state. If you could win the primary, you'd stand a solid chance of taking down Manchin and flipping a Senate seat red (though you would have to spend some time in West Virginia, so there are drawbacks to this option).

Yes, well 50 or 70% does not leave much of a margin for error. I don't want to waste our effort on something that won't pay off. I'll show you what good numbers look like so you can get a feel for how it works:

Moscow releases final results of discredited referendums in occupied territories
Tass, the Russian state news agency, said the ballot count showed 87 percent of voters supported joining Russia in Kherson region; 93 percent in Zaporizhzhia region; 99 percent in Donetsk region; and 98 percent in Luhansk region in the east.

Let's circle back in a few weeks and see if the numbers get any closer to where I'd like them to be, and if we can learn from the tactics used to reach those numbers. Pencil in a maybe on Senator for West Virginia.

Governor - Missouri
This state's Republican governor is term-limited, you could probably have a chance here. IDK, like all Americans, state politics bore me. Moving on.

Yes, yes, skip all the State garbage. In it to win it, not fix other people's tedious problems, manholes or potholes or whatever.

Delegate - U.S. Virgin Islands at-large
This is a more unorthodox option, but hear me out. Something about the name of this place sounds like it would draw your attention, not sure why. This seat (which is apparently just a Representative without a vote) is currently held by a Democrat who helped in the impeachment of Trump and is therefore in need of punishment. Just imagine the awe and spectacle you'd have on the benighted savages of that tropical land, a glorious White man of wealth and sophistication walking amongst the primitives. Prince Philip was deified for less, you'd be sure to win. And from there to bigger and better things.

You're right, Brother Lukes! I do like the sound of having my own island - especially since the Airplane Committee declined my suggestion to purchase "Pedophile Island". I can already see myself sunning on the beach waving to Zeke over on his island (God willing) as we raise a glass to democracy. Remind me to check if my Island is nearby to another one coming up for sale.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

Thank you Brother, this is what I'm talking about. The effort and dedication of people like you to do all the work and hand me a 1-page summary so I can make a random decision based on the font, or some trivial detail so it looks like I read it and considered it, is what's going to take us over the top.

...

You're right, Brother Lukes! I do like the sound of having my own island - especially since the Airplane Committee declined my suggestion to purchase "Pedophile Island". I can already see myself sunning on the beach waving to Zeke over on his island (God willing) as we raise a glass to democracy. Remind me to check if my Island is nearby to another one coming up for sale.

Thank you for skimming my meticulously prepared report and even reading some portions of it. I'm thrilled that you've decided to run for the position of U.S. Virgin Islands Delegate, frankly I was hoping you'd pick that one. The islands are located in the Atlantic Ocean, not the Pacific as I had presumed. The population is 13% white - they will form the core of your voter base. So --- when do we fly out?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

So --- when do we fly out?

Well that depends on how well the fund raising is going... how well is the fund raising going?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

... how well is the fund raising going?

Is Mistress Cookie handling that? Let's hope Mistress Cookie is handling that.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

Is Mistress Cookie handling that? Let's hope Mistress Cookie is handling that.

She was supposed to facilitate a loan from the Aircraft fund. Then she disappeared.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

Well that depends on how well the fund raising is going... how well is the fund raising going?

Well, the RNC has yet to respond to my request for $20 million. I asked Donald on Truth Social, his response too is, I presume, forthcoming. AIPAC offered some money but I told them where they could shove it. Then they told me my candidate will never hold office in the Virgin Islands or anywhere else. I tried to take up a collection in church but have since been informed by legal counsel that this is a federal crime. So I spent the money on gas, thanks Biden. Also I bought some Slim Jims, beer, and a Powerball ticket. After that I emptied out my wallet into your campaign fund, which currently stands at $11.31.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

3

AIPAC offered some money but I told them where they could shove it. Then they told me my candidate will never hold office in the Virgin Islands or anywhere else.

Why those dirty hooknose... Americans, they always put their nose in other peoples' business. Let's shut the shower door and drop the Zyklon-B on AIPAC's offer. Tell them in those exact words - I think it will make a powerful point.

I tried to take up a collection in church but have since been informed by legal counsel that this is a federal crime. So I spent the money on gas, thanks Biden. Also I bought some Slim Jims, beer, and a Powerball ticket. After that I emptied out my wallet into your campaign fund, which currently stands at $11.31.

Not to worry Brother. That $11.31 will grow with the magic of compound interest into a giant sequoia of funding for political candidates. Dare we presume to call it the Lukes Cash Money fellowship for best sophomore selected by the namesake? Your Her His Her prize is 3 nights at the Motel.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Dr. Oz faltering - is it time for Dr. Toole?

Not to worry Brother. That $11.31 will grow with the magic of compound interest into a giant sequoia of funding for political candidates. Dare we presume to call it the Lukes Cash Money fellowship for best sophomore selected by the namesake? Your Her His Her prize is 3 nights at the Motel.

Grand news! I ejected some guests from my motel for logging onto the wifi and using it to stream episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race. In the struggle, they left behind a briefcase containing some $500 in cash! Dr. Toole, there are some great things we can do with this money towards your campaign. For instance, we could put the $400 down on a sure thing at the dog track. Another thing we could maybe do with the $300 I found is buy up some advertisements in local newspapers in the Virgin Islands demonizing your opponent, Stacey Plaskett. It's also possible we could use this $200 windfall as a sign on bonus for some temps, because running a campaign is actually really hard. Now that I think about it, the $100 I came across really isn't a whole lot of money to do stuff with. We need more money.

So yeah, the campaign war chest right now is $61.31