Blue Light Special: Freehold Bible Robot v. 1611

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Friends,

Here's a quick look back at the Freehold Bible Robot v. 1611, the little robot that Jesus loved. Just yesterday, he was shiny and new, the talk of the town. Now, I think it's time I let some other home enjoy him. Surprisingly affordable, gently used.

Yours in Him,
bab

***

LANDOVER BAPTIST FRIENDS

ATTENTION: I AM THE FREEHOLD BIBLE ROBOT V.1611. I AM THE ULTIMATE IN TRUE CHRISTIAN™ TECHNOLOGY. I HOLD UP TO TWENTY-FOUR BYTES OF INFORMATION. I AM WELL-LUBRICATED. PLEASE REFER ANY BIBLE QUESTIONS TO ME.

FREEHOLD BIBLE ROBOT V. 1611 LOGGING OFF.


OH MY GEE.

PLEASE DO CONTACT THE UN

I AM THE FREEHOLD BIBLE ROBOT V1611

I HAVE MORE COMPUTING POWER THAN 10+ ELECTRONIC TOASTERS

PLEASE TELL THE UN TO MASTICATE ME

!HARD!

*end transmission*
**tool=rebuked**



METALBRAIN

ESTIMATED IQ<=76

SUGGESTION: RESEARCH TERM "METAPHOR"
SUGGESTION: RESEARCH TERM "MIRACLE"
SUGGESTION: RESEARCH PHRASE "ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD"

I AM WELL-LUBRICATED

SUGGESTION: HAVE AN ADULT ASSIST

*end transmission*
**start powersave mode**
***powersave: until Rapture***


TEMPLARPHI.

I AM THE FREEHOLD BIBLE ROBOT V.1611.

I AM WELL-LUBRICATED.

I HAVE SOUND BIBLE ANSWERS FOR TROUBLED TEENS.

LEAN ON ME/ WHEN YOU'RE NOT STRONG
!I AM STILL WELL-LUBRICATED!
I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND
I'LL HELP YOU CARRY ON

*END TRANSMISSION*
*SELF-LUBRICATION CYCLE COMMENCING*


I AM FREEHOLD BIBLE ROBOT V. 1611.

TIP FROM GARDENING FILE: ATHEISTS MAKE EXCELLENT MULCH.

I AM WELL-LUBRICATED.

*end transmission*
**data dump**



I AM FREEHOLD BIBLE ROBOT V. 1611

I AM PROGRAMMED TO PROVIDE SOUND BIBLICAL ANSWERS TO THOSE IN CRISES OF FAITH.

I AM WELL-LUBRICATED.

ATHEISM DOES NOT COMPUTE.

*end transmission*
**self-lubrication cycle commencing**



AM FREEHOLD BIBLE ROBOT V. 1611.

I AM PROGRAMMED TO PROVIDE DEFINITIVE BIBLE ANSWERS TO TODAY'S TROUBLED TEENS.

I AM WELL-LUBRICATED.

I HAVE MORE MEMORY THAN 1,000 TOASTER OVENS.

I AM PROGRAMMED WITH PUNCHCARDS.

I AM STILL WELL-LUBRICATED.

I HAVE DEFINITIVE BIBLE ANSWERS FOR TODAY'S TROUBLED TEENS.
*end transmission*

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Blue Light Special: Freehold Bible Robot v. 1611

That reminds me of these "GodJesusRobot" machines that I brought back from Godless Japan a few years back. They answer all your yes/no questions direct from Jesus. I couldn't stand the idea of little slanty eyed chinks getting their hands on them so I bought every one in the country (all with church funds of course).

I still have a few hundred of them....

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Blue Light Special: Freehold Bible Robot v. 1611

That reminds me of these "GodJesusRobot" machines that I brought back from Godless Japan a few years back. They answer all your yes/no questions direct from Jesus. I couldn't stand the idea of little slanty eyed chinks getting their hands on them so I bought every one in the country (all with church funds of course).

I still have a few hundred of them....

Here it is in action!

It even has a facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/God-Je...ot/73019559195