Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

[Nobar King]

Hell Center, Hell — Too Hot Concerts will present a Summer Concert Series on Friday evenings this summer. The concerts, free and open to the public, will feature faculty of the Infernal Performance Program, an intensive course for serious students of musicianship. All concerts will be held from 6:45-10:30 p.m. in Graves Hall on the Phillips Academy campus, next to Fire and Brimstone Corner.

Known as the Inferno's high-energy, hip-shakin’ concert series, concert promoters Saddam Hussain and Josef Stalin are knockin’ ‘em dead everywhere with their onstage antics and ferocious blues chops. Music and wine lovers can sip vino al diablo and dine al fresco in the Samael gardens overlooking the Styx River. The winery’s beautiful European-themed landscape is framed by the vast horizons of the craggy foothills and the majestic Widowmaker Mountains.


Concerts begins at 7 p.m. Tickets for the entire series are not available any more. Individual tickets ($85.50 per person, $76 for Wine Club Members) are available now for purchase. Individual tickets will be available for purchase June 1, 2008, or May 1, 2008 for Wine Club Members (who also receive a 20% discount on individual tickets). For more information or to purchase series tickets, call (866) 666-WINE. To sign up for the wine club, visit www.samelsgardens.net.

[SUV]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

My GOD, Tom Fogerty Died?

Or am I thinking of John?

Whatever

[SUV]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

Wait a minute; I just checked, and I don't see Ringo Starr as being officially Dead either.

I want my Money back!

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

It's a nice lineup, but there are a few glaring omissions: Brian Jones is chopped liver? What about Cass Elliot and John Phillips? Robert Palmer?

And if Sonny Barger isn't there, who's going to handle security? And don't they need Hunter S. Thompson to document it and Linda Eastman McCartney to photograph it? Honestly, you just can't trust that big dumb satan with anything!

[Nobar King]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

Jerry Garcia appeared recently with an unknown back-up band. He'll show up almost any time, and it's almost impossible to get him to stop. Wait!- Did he move? Is he alive?

[Nobar King]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

Michael Hutchence also made an appearance, although, it was brief:




He's just not the same as he used to be.

[Nobar King]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

You would have to be chained to your hovel to miss this epic event:

[Nobar King]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

If there's one thing good about hell, there's lots of good music. It can be too loud, sometimes, and seem to play forever, but it beats listening to finger nails on chalk boards all day, right?

Didn't think you would ever have time to listen to the entire Grateful Dead live bootleg catalog? Well, now you get to listen to it over and over and over and over and, well, you get it, right? Plus, sometimes the stereo jacks get funky, and you only get to hear the music from one channel or the other, plus the expected static you get from the electromagnetic radiation generated by the Earth's iron core.

You might wonder, "Are there any new releases in Hell?"

It's a good question, but if there was anything good coming out of hell, the Devil would have marketed it to us humans by now. Mostly the new material consists of songs like "AAAARRGhhhHAALLLHHAAARRRR", but they're really not translatable. Some people will recognize the wails of Layne Stayley echoing thru the hallowed halls.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

Well, Nobar, for someone who doesn't wish to end up 'hell', you sure seem to know a lot about the goings on there.

[Nobar King]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

I can only imagine...

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

It seems you 'imagine' very well!

So what's the lineup in 'heaven' meant to be?

[SUV]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

HELL: "Feeeeelings" played endlessly, concurrent with Paul McCartney's Ebony and Ivory

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

Just kill me. Oh, wait... I'm in hell...

[Nobar King]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

It seems you 'imagine' very well!

So what's the lineup in 'heaven' meant to be?

I'm working on that one.

Maybe they don't even have concerts in Heaven. Who would want to go to one, anyway? They're crowded, noisy, smoky, and usually full of reprobates and emos. Part of the reason for creating this thread is to highlight the dangers of getting sucked into the culture of 'modern music'. You must admit that many souls have been lost to the excesses of 'rock and roll'. Awareness is the first step toward learning.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Just announced: Summer Concert Series - IN HELL

I can imagine concerts in Hell; all the guitars being slightly out of tune, and the drummer just missing the rhythm and hitting the wrong drum from time to time. On top of that, unbelievably loud feedback is a characteristic of every session and, just as the music builds up to the good bit, the power fails and in the darkness, Lycra clad demons attack.