[Glendora Christianson]

We Got a Live One!

I know Mrs. Rogers was asing for a live wiccaden for the older folks to tease a little. But I'm not sure what we caught. This gal certainly looks like a witch or something to me. And when we take her gag off, she starts spewing demonic chants in the most annoying mono-tone (worse than Cher) voice. Anyway, for those of you who want a look, she's tied up in our shed.

PS This gal can't even spell her own name!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I've got mixed feeling about the begging. On one had it is real funny they ask me for mercy. I mean how stupid can they be? You ask Jesus for that. It's just every now and then I get this funny feeling before I pull the trigger that, heck, I don't know. It's like they somehow remind me a little bit of my mother, or my sister or my ex-wife Trish. You know, like Mom/Sis/Trish were crying there and not the witch. I pull the trigger quick then before it creeps me out.

Anyone know what that is? Is this some kind of witch power?

I thought your mother was a Papist, your sister fornicated with Jews, and Trish was a feminazi? Surely, if anything, that'd add to the buzz?

[Bobby-Joe]

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I thought your mother was a Papist, your sister fornicated with Jews, and Trish was a feminazi? Surely, if anything, that'd add to the buzz?

Well she is my mother Brother Temperance and we are commanded by God to honor them, even if they are hell bound, Mary worshiping scum. I'd feel bad about shooting my mother, sister or ex because it would break God's law. Anyway I said they kinda reminded me of them. In sort of vague way. It's just why am I feeling anything like that to these subhuman wickers?

Look, this feeling I had really confusing. I’ve never had anything like it before. When I had that fat wicker cornered I put the barrel of my rifle to her chest told her to prepare to meet her dark master in hell. She began sobbing about how she didn't want to die and why was I being so mean to her. It was clear crystal to me she was just some girl who didn't know any better with a weight problem. She got into this occult thing to try and fell better, ended up with the wrong crowd and now she was in way over her head. If things went a little different she might be a big boned wife to some TRUE Christian(tm). That's what really creeped me out. See her like that! Even understanding her life story. What the heck is that??? Is that this "contentious" thing Brother Saved was talking about???

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

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I have a question for the other True Christians(tm) here: I caught something this past weekend that I am unsure of where to store in my collection! It seems certain that this is a witch or warlock of sorts, and is definitely of the devil. However, have you any thoughts on what this might be?!

[MoonFlower]

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I believe that's the landscape artist of one of BJ's neighbors. He's....different.

Moon

[Remy Lebeau]

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However, have you any thoughts on what this might be?!

Edward Scissorhands. old

[Brother Temperance]

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I believe that's the landscape artist of one of BJ's neighbors. He's....different.

Moon

We all spotted that he was queer, do you have any information apart from that?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Well she is my mother Brother Temperance and we are commanded by God to honor them, even if they are hell bound, Mary worshiping scum. I'd feel bad about shooting my mother, sister or ex because it would break God's law. Anyway I said they kinda reminded me of them. In sort of vague way. It's just why am I feeling anything like that to these subhuman wickers?

Look, this feeling I had really confusing. I’ve never had anything like it before. When I had that fat wicker cornered I put the barrel of my rifle to her chest told her to prepare to meet her dark master in hell. She began sobbing about how she didn't want to die and why was I being so mean to her. It was clear crystal to me she was just some girl who didn't know any better with a weight problem. She got into this occult thing to try and fell better, ended up with the wrong crowd and now she was in way over her head. If things went a little different she might be a big boned wife to some TRUE Christian(tm). That's what really creeped me out. See her like that! Even understanding her life story. What the heck is that??? Is that this "contentious" thing Brother Saved was talking about???

Listen Brother BJ; the doubts or hesitations you are experiencing can be explained in no other way than demon possession. Report to Pastor Pistle at once for prayer and treatment. Don't forget your credit cards. I'll be praying for you too, if your love offering is large enough.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

.
I should think so, we have posters all over Landover and I have her wearing an orange vest to avoid any mistakes.

Umm.......orange.....are you sure.....

Now look here, we did drop leaflets on the woods instructing them how to surrender to Christ.

I saw one of those. I don't quite understand what you mean by paragraphs #2 and #3.
Maybe you could explain it? And it was REALLY hard to find the thing, if I hadn't been running from that spider and tripped over out for a stroll in an unusual area I would have never seen it.

As I said, I am in a nice, centrally heated and air-conditioned house for my beliefs, you are a spider infested cave Rachael for yours. Now who is the clueless fool?

I'm not in the cave all the time.
And you'll thank me later when the new 'Wu Lins special' arrives on the menu.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

With 7 easy kills racked in New Guinea I was getting bored so I hopped a flight back to good old Iowa. The first night out me and the Mrs bagged a family of wickers, but they had their little demon seed with them. I was going to finish off the little crying wuss, but the wife felt sorry for him. Women are so emotional when it comes to little ones.

Hosea 13:16 [16] Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

God doesn't spare babies, much less children, so why should I back out. I was going to ignore her, but then she... um, convinced me otherwise.



Anyway, we have the little guy down in the basement. All I had was an old aquarium we hadn't used since we moved to Freehold. Anybody have any ideas on what I should do with it? Do you think it's safe keeping it? I'm not sure how old they are before they start casting spells. I just hope it's at least as smart as a cat and buries its poop in the sand.

Any advice?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I would advise selling it as soon as possible. There's no telling what demonic powers it may have (including influencing your White wife's feeble mind), and the liebrls will be after you soon enough for not enrolling it in secular, monkey-worshipping school. You can donate the money you receive for the sale to Jesus for His birthday. Try listing it on ebay.

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I would advise selling it as soon as possible. There's no telling what demonic powers it may have (including influencing your White wife's feeble mind), and the liebrls will be after you soon enough for not enrolling it in secular, monkey-worshipping school. You can donate the money you receive for the sale to Jesus for His birthday. Try listing it on ebay.

Wouldn't it be better to sell the child to Landover? Not only would doing so avoid the sickular eBay, which the liebrals keeep a close eye on and might get Brother Remy into some trouble, it would also benefit Landover and America. It would either be purged of the demons infesting it and becom a good Christian soldier or would be sent to Hell by Jesus. Either way Brother Remy, Landover, Jesus, and the child will benefit.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Wouldn't it be better to sell the child to Landover? Not only would doing so avoid the sickular eBay, which the liebrals keeep a close eye on and might get Brother Remy into some trouble, it would also benefit Landover and America. It would either be purged of the demons infesting it and becom a good Christian soldier or would be sent to Hell by Jesus. Either way Brother Remy, Landover, Jesus, and the child will benefit.

Hmmm? And I'm sure I could take a percentage of the little guy's good deeds for Christ as my own sense I am the one that delivered him to Jesus. Imagine all the good he will do throughout his lifetime. My 60% take of those good deeds will look good in my chapter of the Book of Life. It's also like a $15,000.00 tithe to boot.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I am joining the army. I will fight for the country, not just George Bush.

That certainly gladdens this old man’s heart to hear.

I hope you'll remember to follow the True Christian™ values as you're bringing the Word of God to the infidels in Babylon:

Deuteronomy 20:10 When thou comest nigh unto a city to fight against it, then proclaim peace unto it.
Deuteronomy 20:11 And it shall be, if it make thee answer of peace, and open unto thee, then it shall be, that all the people that is found therein shall be tributaries unto thee, and they shall serve thee.
Deuteronomy 20:12 And if it will make no peace with thee, but will make war against thee, then thou shalt besiege it:
Deuteronomy 20:13 And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword:
Deuteronomy 20:14 But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Listen Brother BJ; the doubts or hesitations you are experiencing can be explained in no other way than demon possession. Report to Pastor Pistle at once for prayer and treatment. Don't forget your credit cards. I'll be praying for you too, if your love offering is large enough.

PRAISE JESUS! Only that, I thought I was going crazy or had cancer or something.

Umm.......orange.....are you sure.....

Positive, no wicker would ever were anything else but black silly.

I saw one of those. I don't quite understand what you mean by paragraphs #2 and #3.
Maybe you could explain it? And it was REALLY hard to find the thing, if I hadn't been running from that spider and tripped over out for a stroll in an unusual area I would have never seen it.

It's easy; your guaranteed receive no treatment that is degrading to human dignity as defined by the pastors. So all do you need to do is put down and brooms, wands or cats and approach a Security Officer with one of the leaflets in hand.

I'm not in the cave all the time.
And you'll thank me later when the new 'Wu Lins special' arrives on the menu.

the only Chinese food I eat is "Little Tiger"