[Jesus is Lord]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

What the heck! witch hunting I swear we are in the 21st century not the middle ages!

So what if it is the 21st century? God's commandments to kill witches are just as valid now as they were in 1611 when God wrote the KJV Bible.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

What the heck! witch hunting I swear we are in the 21st century not the middle ages!

Within the U.S. border perhaps. But this is a big world and different customs and laws apply in different parts of the world. Besides with enough tithes we haven't had to worry so much about U.S. law either. There are trespassing laws after all. Stop being such a close-minded bigot.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

GLORY Mother G. I killed 2 this weekend. Pastor Zeke actually mortally wounded them, but he let me finish them off! He was in a very generous mood this weekend. He helped Tater execute a few too!

Proud, Sister (Eradicator) Thumper

God bless you Thumper! I sure hope you took pictures for our contest. Pastor Zeke is such a wonderful man of the cloth. And it's so kind of him to show your (very promising) son the True Christian way. Don't forget to save the teeth for arts and crafts. IMPRESSED GLENDORA

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Thank you Mother G. It was very thrilling indeed!

I made thess necklaces from the kills that they made last year. One for Pastor Zeke and one for Tater. The bigger one is from a warlock. Those were hard to pull out. I had to break his jaw in 4 places with a sledge hammer.

I think I will have Tater wear it tomorrow when they go witch huntng again. It will be sure to bring him good luck.


GLORY!

Proud, Sister Thumper

[MoonFlower]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

She even rejected the loving name I had given her and became known as MOONFLOWER.

I almost didn't survive the shock. I still try to keep the hunters from nailing her skin to the trophy house wall every October, but I can't protect her forever and she will end up as SATAN'S sphincter.

My point is that hearing that name is painful to me.

This is what I get even after attempting to applogize to you?! Geesh, Pa'daddy, I go to your house EVERY night after a long day at BJ's just to make you some tea and fix up a hot bath for you! You know very well that I am willing to convert for a good TC man! And everything you taught me has actually stuck! I'm not your typical goth wiccan Pa'daddy and you know that!

At least there are a few pastors that still have faith in me.

Moon

PS - I'M NOT DARK SKINNED.....I just have a kick ass tan....with no tan lines.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

How is this hunt going? No one has come any closer to any witch I personally know.
Meanwhile we have these caves to put up with. And SPIDERS
(All of which will be sent to landover as a gift...you guys eat spiders, right?)

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Personally my hunt has been going well -- I have incorporated it into my Lieberal Evilutionist Extermination event, and am happy to report that I am having trouble hauling corpses to my, erm, disposal area without too much attention being focused upon me.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

How is this hunt going? No one has come any closer to any witch I personally know.

Oh pretty good for me. I bagged a 300lbr; I sent the first round over her head to spook her, just for fun. You should have seen her little fat feet try to run. She was crying, her face was all red (under the baby blood stains). Second round; right dead middle of the chest. Damn if her body fat didn't stop the bullet. Just like shooting a pillow. Well, she’s burning in hell now.

Next I am going after one of those little asexual type wickers. I hear with their jumping around they can be a lot of fun.

Meanwhile we have these caves to put up with. And SPIDERS
(All of which will be sent to landover as a gift...you guys eat spiders, right?)

Eat spiders? We're not the ones in a cave Rachael.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

GOT ME A WICCAN

GOT ME ANOTHER ONE!! GLORY!!
Excuse me for being a little breathless, but I just got me another one.

Creepy fella pulled all my clothes off before I finally got him down and beat him to submission.

He was too heavy for me to lift, so I wrapped him in a comforter and drug him out by the dumpster. I would appreciate it if a strong Brother could go dispose of the lifeless body.

Proud! Sister Thumper

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Oh pretty good for me. I bagged a 300lbr; I sent the first round over her head to spook her, just for fun. You should have seen her little fat feet try to run. She was crying, her face was all red (under the baby blood stains). Second round; right dead middle of the chest. Damn if her body fat didn't stop the bullet. Just like shooting a pillow. Well, she’s burning in hell now.

Next I am going after one of those little asexual type wickers. I hear with their jumping around they can be a lot of fun.

I see. Does moonflower, your cook, know what you're doing? Did you have to send her into the afterlife? You didn't even try to brainwash convert her?
Meanies, the lot of you!

Eat spiders? We're not the ones in a cave Rachael.

Well I'M not eating the damn spiders. And it's because of you that I'm IN the cave therefore any complimentary spiders are being shipped straight to Wu Lins err....away.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

.

I see. Does moonflower, your cook, know what you're doing? Did you have to send her into the afterlife?

I should think so, we have posters all over Landover and I have her wearing an orange vest to avoid any mistakes.

You didn't even try to brainwash convert her?
Meanies, the lot of you!

Now look here, we did drop leaflets on the woods instructing them how to surrender to Christ.

Well I'M not eating the damn spiders. And it's because of you that I'm IN the cave therefore any complimentary spiders are being shipped straight to Wu Lins err....away.

As I said, I am in a nice, centrally heated and air-conditioned house for my beliefs, you are a spider infested cave Rachael for yours. Now who is the clueless fool?

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

How is this hunt going?

Glad you asked, not feeling very safe are you witch?
Not too well however, I've only bagged a few, seems most of them have already been killed.
But I have made some effort to score most creative kill.

One witch I knocked out and tied up before I covered her in honey and threw her in an ant stack..
She's still alive mind you, but she won't last long now, probably only a few hours more.
With Jesus help, the ants have already ate themselfs a long way into her flesh.
Praise!

And I killed another by shooting her in the kneecaps and then searing her flesh with a blowtorch.

I'm hopeful that one of these will land me the title of 'Most creative kill'.
My other kills haven't been much to boast about though, a bullet there, a hand grenade there.. Nothing extraordinary.
But the most important thing here, is that we are doing the work of JESUS. We are doing what we are COMMANDED to do.
Praise!

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

Things are going well here in New Guinea. It was the first time my wife actually fired a weapon at a living creature. There was some satanic ritual going on in the local woods. We approached the witches with some of the Christian men from a village in which Pastor Gargalo achieved great renown. They had a bond fire going. They were shaking their necklaces, throwing their hands up, and speaking their ooga booga language. They painted their faces and were probably doing crack based on how they were acting. They must have figured Satan would protect them because they didn't even try and escape. It was almost too easy. The local villagers surrounded the bon fire and kept the witches at bay with machetes. Then me and my wife took them out one by one execution style. I didn't want to take any chances so we burned the bodies in case they came back as flesh craving lepers. We gathered the bodies the next day.



It's perfectly legitimate here, but somehow it's just not as satisfying as slaying some back talking gothtard. I can't even understand what they're saying when they are, I assume, begging for their lives. I remember my first Halloween kill. I began to preach to this one wicker harlot. I was so nervous. She replies with typical blasphemies against Christ. I tell her about Exodus 22:18. She laughs and questions my faith saying, "How many witches have you killed? You have to kill witches or else you are just as such a sinner as I am. That's why I don't believe in your god..." The look on her face when I told her I will follow all of God's commandments was priceless. She threatened me and called me a sicko. That first backhand across her face was oh so sweet. She tried to run, but she had these sorta high heel pumps and this long tight fitting black dress that hampered her ability to run. It was just like in the movies when she fell. She screamed, but I shut her up quick. Nobody came to her aid. Her tears practically washed off that gothic whore paint. I savored that moment. Next I ripped off her...

I seem to be reminiscing. *sigh*

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

It's perfectly legitimate here, but somehow it's just not as satisfying as slaying some back talking gothtard. I can't even understand what they're saying when they are, I assume, begging for their lives.

I've got mixed feeling about the begging. On one had it is real funny they ask me for mercy. I mean how stupid can they be? You ask Jesus for that. It's just every now and then I get this funny feeling before I pull the trigger that, heck, I don't know. It's like they somehow remind me a little bit of my mother, or my sister or my ex-wife Trish. You know, like Mom/Sis/Trish were crying there and not the witch. I pull the trigger quick then before it creeps me out.

Anyone know what that is? Is this some kind of witch power?

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!

I've got mixed feeling about the begging. On one had it is real funny they ask me for mercy. I mean how stupid can they be? You ask Jesus for that. It's just every now and then I get this funny feeling before I pull the trigger that, heck, I don't know. It's like they somehow remind me a little bit of my mother, or my sister or my ex-wife Trish. You know, like Mom/Sis/Trish were crying there and not the witch. I pull the trigger quick then before it creeps me out.

Anyone know what that is? Is this some kind of witch power?

I believe this is what sickulars calls "concence" (or however they spell it?) but True Christians know;
That it is is only demonic magic at work! A way for Satan to try and stop people from doing the will of JESUS.

Your resolve is being tested by the devil himself brother, stick to your guns and be careful.
Don't let any such devil inspired feelings get into the way of doing as Jesus commands.