Kikes Claim Jesus' Body Found

[Pastor Ezekiel]

As we all know, Christ-killing joos will stop at nothing to destroy Christianity. THIS story claims that they are now preparing to unveil their latest attempt.

Film Claim: Jesus' Body Found

Efforts to discredit Jesus' resurrection continue

WASHINGTON, Feb. 23 /Christian Newswire/ -- A liberal website out of Jerusalem, Israel is reporting that a documentary film to be aired this week will prove the actual burial site for Jesus Christ and his family has been found. The filmmakers, including James Cameron of Titanic fame, claim they will display the coffins of Jesus and his mother Mary at a New York news conference on Monday.

The implications are clear: According the filmmakers, Jesus did not rise from the grave.

In response to the announced news conference, National Clergy Council president, the Reverend Rob Schenck (pronounced SHANK) said:

“This kind of sensationalism has been tried before. Only five years ago no less of a prestigious organization than Biblical Archeological Review Journal claimed it had the coffin of James, the brother of Jesus. It was later determined to be a hoax.

“These filmmakers, who have an obvious bias against Christianity, say the evidence in this case rests on the names inscribed on the coffins and DNA testing. First, the names Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the others they will cite, were some of the most common for that region at that time. Second, there are no known descendants of Mary alive today, so what does DNA have to do with it?

“Thinking people should take this announcement with a grain of salt.”

Rev. Schenck is also chairman of the Committee on Church and Society for the Evangelical Church Alliance, America’s oldest association of evangelical clergy. The National Clergy Council is based in Washington, DC, and represents conservative church leaders from all Christian traditions.

Our own Pastor Pistle has flown in to investigate the situation. Praise Jesus, I have no doubt that HE can set them straight.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

As we all know, Christ-killing joos will stop at nothing to destroy Christianity. THIS story claims that they are now preparing to unveil their latest attempt.

I see the JOOs are up to their old tricks again. Guy Thorne was a prophet.

[Prune Danish]

The plot(!) thickens. They even have their own website, which will be launched tomorrow (Feb. 26th): www.jesusfamilytomb.com

How can they find Jesus' tomb, when we all know the grave was empty? How can they find His bones, when He ascended on the 40th day? What good would a DNA-test be, when Jesus is the son of God? Have they found God's DNA somewhere?

I shudder to think what hideous lies there will be on that site (tomorrow at 11:30am EST).

[Mrs. Rogers]

The Jooz can't find $1 collectively in their moth-eaten purses to donate to JESUS' favourite church, and yet they can find His body? Do they think we're all as gullible as Soon Yi?!

[Bobby-Joe]

This is a subtle and insidious attempt by atheists under the guidance of Satan undermine Christianity; to disprove this simple hoax Christians will be forced to counter by showing the names “Jesus” and “Mary” were extremely common in Judah during Jesus’ earthly ministry. Satan’s next step will be to have his meat puppets point out how this invalidates any record of anyone named Jesus because how will we know which Jesus is being referred to? Then these atheists, to glorify their master in hell, will drive home their evil attack saying The Synoptic Gospels in The Bible is on equally doubtful footing because it could be nothing more than a confused recollection of the lives of several men named Jesus written two generations after the events happened.

Christians must not fall for this trap! Satan inspired the Joos to name their children so unimaginatively specifically to create confusion among those weak of faith! When faced by confusion like this Christians must focus themselves and think logically and rationally; the key point to remember is God wrote the Bible* and God isn’t going to forget who His Only Begotten Son® is after forty years.**

Be strong with The Lord brethren.

*using King James as a pen
**or 1611 years for that matter.

[Prune Danish]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Then these atheists, so glorify their master in hell, will drive home their evil attack saying [B]The Synoptic Gospels in The Bible is on equally doubtful footing because it could be nothing more than a confused recollection of the lives of several men named Jesus written two generations after the events happened.

That wouldn't be the first time they tried this strategy, brother. They are always seeing patterns and conspiracies where there are none. Take the example of Jesus, son of Ananus.

Just because they are both named Jesus, both lived in the 1st century, both came to Jerusalem during a pilgrim festival, both shouted "woe up the Jerusalem, the temple and the people", both were unlearned, both were supposed to be demon possessed, both were guided by a supernatural force, both were arrested by the Joos, both were beaten by the Joos, both remained silent, both were handed over to the Roman authorities, both refused to answer, both were scourged by the Romans and just because the Romans wanted to free them both, and both were killed by the Romans doesn't mean their stories are related.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Prune Danish

That wouldn't be the first time they tried this strategy, brother. They are always seeing patterns and conspiracies where there are none. Take the example of Jesus, son of Ananus.

Just because they are both named Jesus, both lived in the 1st century, both came to Jerusalem during a pilgrim festival, both shouted "woe up the Jerusalem, the temple and the people", both were unlearned, both were supposed to be demon possessed, both were guided by a supernatural force, both were arrested by the Joos, both were beaten by the Joos, both remained silent, both were handed over to the Roman authorities, both refused to answer, both were scourged by the Romans and just because the Romans wanted to free them both, and both were killed by the Romans doesn't mean their stories are related.

Godly point Brother Prune; this is a good example of the false common Jesus Satan had seeded the Holy Land with. Do not be suckered by such snares the Father of All Lies lays for you brethren. Josephus just got our loving Savior Jesus Christ mixed up with the twenty or so Jesus, son of Joseph who just by pure coincidences were holy men preaching religious reform and performing miracles during Jesus’ life time. These kind of mistakes can happen with humans, not God, and it was God who wrote The Bible.

[Prune Danish]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Godly point Brother Prune; this is a good example of the false common Jesus Satan had seeded the Holy Land with. Do not be suckered by such snares the Father of All Lies lays for you brethren. Josephus just got our loving Savior Jesus Christ mixed up with the twenty or so Jesus, son of Joseph who just by pure coincidences were holy men preaching religious reform and performing miracles during Jesus’ life time. These kind of mistakes can happen with humans, not God, and it was God who wrote The Bible.

Well, their site is open now. I'm going to enter it (like Daniel entered the lions' den) and see what it's all about: http://www.jesusfamilytomb.com

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Prune Danish

That wouldn't be the first time they tried this strategy, brother. They are always seeing patterns and conspiracies where there are none. Take the example of Jesus, son of Ananus.

Just because they are both named Jesus, both lived in the 1st century, both came to Jerusalem during a pilgrim festival, both shouted "woe up the Jerusalem, the temple and the people", both were unlearned, both were supposed to be demon possessed, both were guided by a supernatural force, both were arrested by the Joos, both were beaten by the Joos, both remained silent, both were handed over to the Roman authorities, both refused to answer, both were scourged by the Romans and just because the Romans wanted to free them both, and both were killed by the Romans doesn't mean their stories are related.

I should certainly hope not! Everyone knows Jesus was the Son of God, and the Almighty God is most certainly not Ananus!

[Glendora Christianson]

Pastor Zeke, I wish I had let Elmer click on that disturbing link. And I would suggest that all good Christian women go back to their ironing/baking. But I can't hope but wonder if that Cameron is just trying to ruin our Easter. I CONSIDER THE WHOLE THING A HATE CRIME! DISTURBED GLENDORA