I have a question

[stealtfc (On Moderation)]

When can i be called a new name, instead of being "under investigation"? it gets old, you know.

[Talitha]

Re: I have a question

When can i be called a new name, instead of being "under investigation"? it gets old, you know.

Visitors to our Website are under constant review.
Obviously the Pastors don't feel that you are close enough to Jesus yet.
Give it time, we are compassionate people as you know.
In the meantime a Loving donation to Jesus could get you closer to God. (Terms & Conditions apply).

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I have a question

Also stop your God mocking and your hateful ranting and raving. Read the Bible, and stop being a tool for satan.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: I have a question

Visitors to our Website are under constant review.

Obviously the Pastors don't feel that you are close enough to Jesus yet.
Give it time, we are compassionate people as you know.
In the meantime a Loving donation to Jesus could get you closer to God. (Terms & Conditions apply).

Stealtfc, a generous tithe (subscription) to Landover (God's favorite church) may get you closer to Landover as well as God, as it did for me!

But hold on a minute! -- LBC could make you a full Member if they see fit, but this does not necessarily guarantee that you won't still be 'under investigation' --

As well, get used to being ignored by the True Christians on the forum -- until they say that Jesus says you are Saved --

(they still ignore me, and I get plenty of rebuking and sinner-bashing, mostly for being a woman and a false-church minister, and for teaching, which they say is inappropriate for females)

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I have a question

(they still ignore me, and I get plenty of rebuking and sinner-bashing, mostly for being a woman and a false-church minister, and for teaching, which they say is inappropriate for females)

How can we rebuke you and ignore you at the same time? Try and talk sense, woman.

[stealtfc (On Moderation)]

Re: I have a question

fine, can you at least name me a demon-infested heathen? Or, something of similarity?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: I have a question

How can we rebuke you and ignore you at the same time? Try and talk sense, woman.

Gosh, Brother T! I meant getting ignored except for the rebukings. But from now on I'll try to talk better sense -- if that's possible for a mere woman -- just for you --

-- and of course for Jesus!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I have a question

Stealtfc, a generous tithe (subscription) to Landover (God's favorite church) may get you closer to Landover as well as God, as it did for me!

(they still ignore me, and I get plenty of rebuking and sinner-bashing, mostly for being a woman and a false-church minister, and for teaching, which they say is inappropriate for females)

Hold on a minute there. It is the HOLY BIBLE that says women are not to teach or speak out in church, not us. If you think that's unfair, then take it up with God.

Everything we say is backed up 1000% by the Holy Bible. We don't try and put a "PC spin" on God's Word, unlike you false Christians.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: I have a question

Hold on a minute there. It is the HOLY BIBLE that says women are not to teach or speak out in church, not us. If you think that's unfair, then take it up with God.

Everything we say is backed up 1000% by the Holy Bible. We don't try and put a "PC spin" on God's Word, unlike you false Christians.

Yes, Pastor Zeke, I agree.

Would you believe me if I tell you that at my church I don't give sermons? I am a communion minister only, a chalice (cup) bearer at the altar; but I don't preach or teach, and don't speak except to repeat the Holy words of distribution.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I have a question

Yes, Pastor Zeke, I agree.

Would you believe me if I tell you that at my church I don't give sermons? I am a communion minister only, a chalice (cup) bearer at the altar; but I don't preach or teach, and don't speak except to repeat the Holy words of distribution.

Then you are nothing but a mime? The degenerate french have infiltrated your false church....

[Sister Noddy]

Re: I have a question

Then you are nothing but a mime? The degenerate french have infiltrated your false church ....

Well, I'm pretty sure the French never had a thing to do with it, since my church comes from the English church.

As for being a mime, I suppose you could call me that; we ministers simply repeat the words of distribution to each communicant as we offer the Cup, words inspired by the Holy Spirit, and memorized by us.

Holy Communion is the Lord's Supper:

Luke 22:

13: And they went, and found as he had said unto them: and they made ready the passover.
14: And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him.
15: And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer:
16: For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God.
17: And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it among yourselves:
18: For I say unto you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine, until the kingdom of God shall come.

19: And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.
20: Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.

To each communicant at the rail, we ministers of the Eucharist say:

'The blood of Christ which was shed for thee, preserve thy body and soul unto everlasting life; take this (cup) in rememberance that Christ died for thee, and be thankful.'

We ministers ourselves are anonymous and speak aloud nothing of our own thoughts or ideas.

I hope that explains it, Pastor Z

[stealtfc (On Moderation)]

Re: I have a question

i think that pretty much sums it up.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: I have a question

Well, I'm pretty sure the French never had a thing to do with it, since my church comes from the English church.

As for being a mime, I suppose you could call me that; we ministers simply repeat the words of distribution to each communicant as we offer the Cup, words inspired by the Holy Spirit, and memorized by us.

Holy Communion is the Lord's Supper:

Luke 22:

13: And they went, and found as he had said unto them: and they made ready the passover.
14: And when the hour was come, he sat down, and the twelve apostles with him.
15: And he said unto them, With desire I have desired to eat this passover with you before I suffer:
16: For I say unto you, I will not any more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God.
17: And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, Take this, and divide it among yourselves:
18: For I say unto you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine, until the kingdom of God shall come.

19: And he took bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave unto them, saying, This is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me.
20: Likewise also the cup after supper, saying, This cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.

To each communicant at the rail, we ministers of the Eucharist say:

'The blood of Christ which was shed for thee, preserve thy body and soul unto everlasting life; take this (cup) in rememberance that Christ died for thee, and be thankful.'

We ministers ourselves are anonymous and speak aloud nothing of our own thoughts or ideas.

I hope that explains it, Pastor Z

So who gives the after communion mint at your false church Minister Noddy?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: I have a question

So who gives the after communion mint at your false church Minister Noddy?

Oh we give those out at coffee hour afterward

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: I have a question

Oh we give those out at coffee hour afterward

I asking because we havening a bite of debate here in Landover about whether the mint should go on the tray with the communion wafer or be included in the pew seat complementary mini-fridge.