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  • #16
    Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

    Don't worry, Brothers and Sisters. I've discovered that, besides being a gay, I'm a universalist as well. There is no hell! We are all going to heaven! Stalin and Obama as well! Even joos go to heaven! Let's all LOVE each other!! Who wants a hug??
    Sweet Lord Jesus,
    I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
    Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
    Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
    Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
    Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
    Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
    Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

    Amen.

    Comment

    • #17
      Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

      Brother, just because you like having sex with other men regularly and have no interest in women does NOT make you gay!

      Trust me, I know from experience.

      Comment

      • #18
        Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

        The Qur'an The Bible commands that we gang-rape execute you filthy sodomites! Please report to the town square, where Bobby-Joe and the boys will carry out the sentence!

        Brother Jones, I trust the Internet links are up to stream the video of the punishment? There are literally tens of thousands of sodomites waiting to watch, in the hopes that the horror of this violent, sweaty display will help them turn from the gay and to Jesus, that they be spared a similar fate! And they're all donating $9.95 for the opportunity to find Jesus!
        Bible boring? Nonsense!
        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

        Comment

        • #19
          Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

          Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
          The Qur'an The Bible commands that we gang-rape execute you filthy sodomites! Please report to the town square, where Bobby-Joe and the boys will carry out the sentence!

          Brother Jones, I trust the Internet links are up to stream the video of the punishment? There are literally tens of thousands of sodomites waiting to watch, in the hopes that the horror of this violent, sweaty display will help them turn from the gay and to Jesus, that they be spared a similar fate! And they're all donating $9.95 for the opportunity to find Jesus!
          Wow, my first stoning!! I can't decide whether I should dress up as a tiger or as a horse for this one, Reverend.

          With Clown Love
          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


          sigpic

          Comment

          • #20
            Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

            Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
            Wow, my first stoning!! I can't decide whether I should dress up as a tiger or as a horse for this one, Reverend.

            With Clown Love
            Clown Love? Dress as a tiger or a horse?

            I'm afraid I don't understand. Have you been brainwashed by furry Juggalosers, Brother? Because that might be two additional audiences interested in watching the event. Think of the income outreach!

            As for which outfit . . . which are you more like? A big pussy, or a stallion?
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

            Comment

            • #21
              Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

              Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
              Wow, my first stoning!! I can't decide whether I should dress up as a tiger or as a horse for this one, Reverend.

              With Clown Love
              A bunny is always ok, Brother!
              Sweet Lord Jesus,
              I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
              Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
              Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
              Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
              Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
              Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
              Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

              Amen.

              Comment

              • #22
                Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                Originally posted by True Disciple View Post
                A bunny is always ok, Brother!
                Only if it's on a leash...

                Drama queen

                Comment

                • #23
                  Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                  He's not THAT gay. I think he is the father of my unborn baby.
                  sigpic

                  Tweet me Here
                  My GODLY Bio Here

                  Comment

                  • #24
                    Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                    I'm so Shocked I can't believe that a,Wonderful True Christian Pastor like yourself whould be gay But i have a Confesstion to I'm in love with Brother Heathen Basher i just can't help it he is the most Wonderful, Caring and and Sweet True Christian man

                    Comment

                    • #25
                      Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                      Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                      He's not THAT gay. I think he is the father of my unborn baby.
                      Sister are you sure your unborn baby is not Pastor Ezekiel?

                      Comment

                      • #26
                        Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                        Originally posted by Miss April View Post
                        Sister are you sure your unborn baby is not Pastor Ezekiel?
                        Oh April, your femme powers of intellect stir within me my butch powers of protection.

                        I want to be the bulldyke to your lipstick lezbo; I'll wear the dungarees but we'll both be bra-free, my bosoms sagging downwards towards our great Mother Earth, your bosoms bouncing pertly as they dance for the great huntress Diana.
                        True Christians are Perfect!

                        Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                        Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                        For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                        Comment

                        • #27
                          Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                          Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                          Oh April, your femme powers of intellect stir within me my butch powers of protection.

                          I want to be the bulldyke to your lipstick lezbo; I'll wear the dungarees but we'll both be bra-free, my bosoms sagging downwards towards our great Mother Earth, your bosoms bouncing pertly as they dance for the great huntress Diana.
                          Mrs Rogers...I know our love was just beginning to bud, the tender petals of our sexuality unfurling for each other, but you have crushed me with this. I thought after sharing my pecan nibbles last night we had reached an agreement about our feelings for each other? My, I feel such a fool. The nibbles really must have been too dry, I should have known.
                          "She was of a great age, and had lived with a husband seven years from her virginity; And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day" - Luke 2:36-37

                          Comment

                          • #28
                            Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                            Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                            Oh April, your femme powers of intellect stir within me my butch powers of protection.

                            I want to be the bulldyke to your lipstick lezbo; I'll wear the dungarees but we'll both be bra-free, my bosoms sagging downwards towards our great Mother Earth, your bosoms bouncing pertly as they dance for the great huntress Diana.
                            Mrs.Sister,Rogers have you lost your mind?

                            Comment

                            • #29
                              Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                              MRS ROGERS! STAY AWAY FROM MISS APRIL! SHE IS MINE!!!

                              I love you, baby

                              Comment

                              • #30
                                Re: [Press Release] Rev. Jim Osborne Reveals Deep, Dark Secret!

                                Originally posted by The Widow Anna View Post
                                Mrs Rogers...I know our love was just beginning to bud, the tender petals of our sexuality unfurling for each other, but you have crushed me with this. I thought after sharing my pecan nibbles last night we had reached an agreement about our feelings for each other? My, I feel such a fool. The nibbles really must have been too dry, I should have known.
                                Anna, I am sorry to have hurt you so -- your pecan nibbles weren't that dry, however April's chicken nibbles are so juicy that they do not require additional sauce.

                                Originally posted by Miss April View Post
                                Mrs.Sister,Rogers i'm so skocked:0 did you hit your head? Everybody around here seems to have gone nuts:/
                                No more nuts for me, not anymore -- but I'll make an exception for you, dear.

                                Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
                                MRS ROGERS! STAY AWAY FROM MISS APRIL! SHE IS MINE!!!
                                She's my little singular nut now, HB.
                                True Christians are Perfect!

                                Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                                Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                                For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                                Comment

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