Learning American as a Foreigner

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I have been looking at websites that encourage foreigners to learn American. I have been doing this mainly to see what hope there is of non-American speakers ever understanding how to accept Jesus and thus to be able to keep to God's Law as laid out in the only valid guide to Our Lord's Will - KJV1611.

There are plenty of these language websites around and to some it might seem encouraging that many of the posters are attempting to be Christians. Slants seem quite keen probably as a result of Pastor Zeke's sojourn in their lands.

I found this one:

Can I say"welcome to + n. + to do something"? Is it grammatically right?
For example:
Welcome to our website to seek and explore the truths in the Bible together with us.

Let us face the truth: nobody is going to go to that website and nobody is going to get saved when they get there because they won’t understand a word of it. It’s a waste of time – something Satan does to divert foreigners from God’s Truths.

And then there is

“I want to say my friend to him of Jesus.” Is correct?

Well – “No, it isn’t– It is laughable garbage and laughing at anything Holy is a sin” is the only answer you can give to that.

I also saw

“i write “jesus he is born the stable to the marry.” And Pastor mark it wrong. Why?”

And I say to myself “This cannot be someone who could possibly attempt to explain the Trinity to me without causing me to want to strangle him.”

Now there is a piece of wisdom that says “only God does things perfectly” and we can see that there is not much “God” behind any writers of imperfect sentences.

Let us look at Genesis:11:1-9in which explains that originally everyone spoke American (we can see this as the whole Bible is written in American from the start) but those people living in Babel in the State of Shinar made bricks and built a city and a huge tower with the idea of making themselves famous:

Ge:11:5: And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.
Ge:11:6: And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
Ge:11:7: Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.
Ge:11:8: So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.
Ge:11:9: Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

Now if you have 10 people, and you want to have them all speak different languages, then you only need 9 languages because you have the original language that one of them can keep.

Before God did this,He obviously knew that only one of them would be able to understand what He said – Thus God recognized that those who spoke American (and learned about,understood and accepted Jesus) are the only ones who can go to Heaven.

Over the years,there have been real foreigners who spoke American. Take Benny Hinn – born in Israel (like Jesus) and we have no difficulty understanding him and his miraculous works.

On the other side,there is Kent Hovind – born in America but who renounced United States citizenship and Social Security numbers to become "a natural citizen of 'America' and a natural sojourner", and referred to his home state of Florida as "the State of Florida Body-Politic Corporation."

Now one might expect that at this point Hovind would have lost all ability to make himself understood and yet his eloquence and logic is the death-knell to all atheists and Catholics and the most powerful cry to Salvation for the otherwise ignorantAmerican.

Both Hinn and Hovind are examples of the amazing proof that God will allow non-Americans to “know Him”.

It is now that we arrive at a conclusion that is far-reaching and tells us about God:

Seeking guidance from native speakers is pointless: God made foreigners speak some gibberish fora reason. If He, in His Infinite Wisdom and Mercy, wants a foreigner to speak American then God will inspire Him and just as suddenly the men of Babel started speaking different languages, the foreigner blessed by God’s Powers will suddenly be able to speak the purest American, and not only that, that person will speak American so well that he will be followed by those he has impressed as a prophet of The Word.

So if you are ever tempted to help foreigners speak American, remember that you will be wasting your time and annoying God unless God wills it, and if He does, they will speak perfect American without your help.

As a mere human you are not going to succeed – the foreigner will, at best, speak with a stupid accent that deprives them of all authority and renders them incomprehensible to 90% of the Unsaved World.

PS
It is also quite possible that these "foreigners" are simply atheists, Russians, Islamists, etc. who are trolling you to waste your time - time that could be better spent preaching to those who can understand.

[Brother Gonzalez]

Re: Learning American as a Foreigner

I can witness the power of God. I did not speak a word of American before I came to this forum and was born again in the blood of Jesus our Lord and Saviour.

Now I can speak, and wether I still make grammar mistakes once in a while, I know it's Jesus trying to remind me my origins and how I don't have to sin again in order to go to Heaven.


Not being able to suddenly start speaking American is a sign of damnation!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Learning American as a Foreigner

I've found that any person that was incapable of speaking American were lesser beings. God made that that way to be identifiable in the dark. In daylight, we can all see who is a nigra, wetback, chink, wop or ginger. At night, we God heightens our awareness, He has seen fit to enable other means of identifying these creatures.
If I go in to my root cellar and see a shadowy figure and coll out to it, the response lets me know if I need to draw my 1911. If I hear a 'yazz sir massah!', I know it is the darkie that stokes the furnace with coal as black as he is. If the being goes 'ie, chi-wah-wah!' I shoot the thing as it obviously broke in to steal something.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Learning American as a Foreigner

Everyone has heard of the crazy Pentecostals, speaking in what they think are "tongues" or what is referred to as "glossolalia" (some delirium gibberish no one understands driven by demons in their rectums). The only way to make any sense of this is that everyone has to understand American - a gift of the Holy Spirit.

Bottom line - the only way to be Saved® is to read the King James Bible (1611) in American.

And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.

And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.

And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them.

And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.

And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven.

Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language.

And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilaeans?

And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born?

Parthians, and Medes, and Elamites, and the dwellers in Mesopotamia, and in Judaea, and Cappadocia, in Pontus, and Asia,

Phrygia, and Pamphylia, in Egypt, and in the parts of Libya about Cyrene, and strangers of Rome, Jews and proselytes,

Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God.

And they were all amazed, and were in doubt, saying one to another, What meaneth this?

Others mocking said, These men are full of new wine.

But Peter, standing up with the eleven, lifted up his voice, and said unto them, Ye men of Judaea, and all ye that dwell at Jerusalem, be this known unto you, and hearken to my words:

For these are not drunken, as ye suppose, seeing it is but the third hour of the day.

- Acts 2:1-15