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  • Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

    Hello friends, if you are reading this topic, you are either a True Christian™ or a filthy, dirty slut. It is the latter group that I am directing this towards and would like to make clear that any time I use the word "you" or any variation thereof in this article I am addressing the whores reading this.

    Now, in case you didn't know, I am an ex-prostitute. Though I am filthy and defiled in comparison to a True Christian™ lady who saved herself for marriage, there is perhaps one way in which my damaged goods are a blessing; they can serve as an example to fornicating harlots like yourselves. If you have an "unsaved trash" under your name I hope you will take my advice for what it is; an outpouring of my True Christian™ love for you and my desire to see your soul be Saved©, you miserable sluts. So, without further ado, here is my practical advice as to how to stop being a filthy whore!

    STEP 1: GET A KJV BIBLE AND START READING IT

    This is, inarguably, the most important step to stop being a dirty little fornicator. You need a reason to stop spreading your legs for anybody that gives you a smile and a $5 bill. Well, True Christian
    ™ men have done the research and the facts speak for themselves. No other religion or morality system tells you not to be a dirty harlot. In fact, the only way you can get the pure, unadulterated (pun-intended! ) Truth™ about what happens to whores is by reading the KJV 1611 Bible and following it to the LETTER. Just take a look at some of this important scripture from the book of Proverbs concerning your deathstyle choice:

    "To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life." Proverbs 2:16-18

    "Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths. For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death." Proverbs 7:25-27

    "Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell." Proverbs 9:16-18

    You see, not only are you going to Hell, every single man you've ever fornicated with will be there too! All because of your whoredoms. And before you get any ideas just remember that Hell is a lake of fire where you will be too busy burning in agony to be doing anything else so just get THAT idea out of your head, you filthy slut.

    "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." Revelation 21:8

    STEP 2: STOP FORNICATING

    The second step in our little program, which absolutely cannot be done without doing the first step, is to STOP FORNICATING. Its really that simple. In fact, I want you all to try this little exercise while you're reading this. Take your right leg and cross it over your left. Go on, try it, I'll be here when you get back.

    OK! Now, assuming you're not some sort of Godforsaken cripple, that should have been pretty easy, right? Well, believe it or not, that's all you have to do to stop fornicating! Keep your legs closed! I know this is probably an alien concept to you little strumpets, but trust me, it works! Now, if you successfully completed the leg crossing exercise (those of you who didn't, keep trying! Maybe you'll get it one day.) then you are ready for our next exercise. I want you to go a whole day without getting yourself all spread eagle'd. If you can manage to do that, you should notice that your amounts of fornication for the day have dropped 100%. If you can't manage to do that, well, then just keep trying! Or accept the fact that you are a hellbound slut, I guess. Your decision.

    STEP 3: DON'T GET YOURSELF RAPED

    Honestly, this pretty much ties in with step #2, but a lot of girls seem to get confused as to whose fault a rape is. It is your fault. You shouldn't have been wearing that skimpy clothing, you shouldn't have been getting drunk at a frat house, and you definitely shouldn't have been giving lapdances to strangers.

    STEP 4: INVEST IN A GOOD CHASTITY BELT

    It is an indisputable fact that most fornication occurs when a women doesn't have a plate of steel between her ladybits and a tallywhacker. Therefore, the best way to stop fornication from occurring is to invest in a good chastity belt! Now, unfortunately for hygiene purposes, you probably do need to get one with openings in the front and back. That's why I'm trusting you ladies to buy one that you can't even get your pinky finger through the openings (might as well stop two sins with one belt, right harlots?).

    Also, make sure you buy one that uses a key, and not some sort of combination locking mechanism. You simply can't trust yourselves, you little harlots. That is why you need to give the key to a man (not a woman, they'll know what you're going through and can't be trusted with the responsibility) you can trust completely, like your local pastor. If you don't have a local pastor (and I have no reason to suspect you do, you filthy whores), then perhaps Landover's very own Rev. Jim Osborne would be willing to help. He runs a ministry for troubled young women, and though I really hate to advertise for him and increase the poor man's workload, somehow I have a feeling he would be willing to hold onto your belt's key and possibly even fly out to you so he can supervise you and help fill you with Jesus's love when the satanic urges feel like they're about to overwhelm you.

    STEP 5: GET MARRIED ASAP

    Lets face it harlots, your bodies have become used to the sin of fornication. It will feel like you're going insane as your body rebels against you following God's commandments and the demons leave. You will need something to concentrate on that isn't the incessant satanic feelings I am sure you are experiencing at this point. Being a helpmeet for a True Christian
    ™ man is not only a great thing to keep your mind off of the demons, it is what God created you to do. Besides, you need to get started on making little soldiers for Jesus if you want to be Saved©!

    "Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety." 1 Timothy 2:15

    Oh, and sorry harlots, but I don't think bastards count.

    "A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD." Deuteronomy 23:2

    STEP 6: REJOICE! YOU ARE SAVED©!

    Did you follow all of my other advice? Then congratulations! You are Saved
    © and will be joining the True Christians™ in Heaven!

    That is, as long as you've been reading the KJV 1611 Bible and have been following all of the 600+ commandments in it.

    Now, let me leave you with just a little bit of scripture to get you inspired.

    "I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance." Luke 15:7

    EDIT: Please ignore the fact that I can't count. I'm a woman.
    Last edited by Lycia The Repentant; 11-15-2010, 10:57 AM. Reason: Well, I feel stupid for making that mistake after writing this all up.
    "Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

    An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
    Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
    My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
    Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
    An Open Question to All false christians.


  • #2
    Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

    @Lycia The Repentant I will get a good chastity belt right away!
    I Jesus!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

      Praise Jesus Sister for your witness to the filthy whore! Have you considered a detailed biography of how you ruined so many lives?

      The responsibility for my lost years as a degenerate rectum chaser lies squarely with the 15 year old slut that seduced me in my freshman year of high school. Walking home from school, it was under an overpass that she asked me if I had ever "chased the dragon" and before I knew what had happened, the slut had her legs around me and our loins locked together in sinful union.

      More whores, many of them much more mature and coaxing me into wicked "techniques", more opiates and narcotics and soon I was swinging both ways, always searching for any available orifice to "explore". And finally a full blown sissyqueer happy as a top, bottom or both at the same time. Sordid depravity that I regret.

      But it all began with one young slut. Praise God that your experience will save even one fallen harlot from ruining more lives!

      In Christ!
      Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

        All I have to do are #5 and #6! I hope that daddy finds a nice boy for me to marry soon... maybe I should ask him about it.
        Girls for God

        Ephesians 5:22

        Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

          Originally posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
          STEP 3: DON'T GET YOURSELF RAPED
          [SIZE=4][SIZE=2]
          Honestly, this pretty much ties in with step #2, but a lot of girls seem to get confused as to whose fault a rape is. It is your fault. You shouldn't have been wearing that skimpy clothing, you shouldn't have been getting drunk at a frat house, and you definitely shouldn't have been giving lapdances to strangers.
          This point needs to be repeated. I do not know how many women who do their best to force men to rape them and then claim to be the victim. Listen ladies; if you put on a pair of engineer boots, wear baggy pants, a jacket and put your hair up under a cap you are just asking for it! You have no one but yourself to blame if you go slutting about dressed up like a teenage boy. That's just looking for trouble.

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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          • #6
            Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

            Wonderful stuff Sister
            Drama queen

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

              Thank you very much, Sister Lycia. I'm going to show this to my girlfriend right away.

              God bless.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                Thank you all for your kind replies! It is an indisputable fact that fornicating harlots are the number one reason people get sent to Hell. Just look at these alarming statistics!

                49.7% of the world's population are women.
                0.001% of the world's population is True Christian™ (and that is a very generous estimate).

                That means that 49.699% of the world's women are Godless heathens, and 100% of those women want nothing more in life than to drag as many innocent men as possible with them towards the fiery pit of Hell!

                Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
                Praise Jesus Sister for your witness to the filthy whore! Have you considered a detailed biography of how you ruined so many lives?
                I don't know Brother Harold. Do you think people would be interested in reading something like that? It might help win a few more souls for Jesus.
                "Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

                An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
                Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
                My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
                Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
                An Open Question to All false christians.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                  Praise Jesus Sister!

                  Exactly. Not only to save the filthy whore, but prevent the fall to prostitution and disgrace in the eyes of God in the first place.

                  What caused your fall Sister? An awkward moment on the playground? A sleepover without parental supervision? Fumbling in the dark at the movie theater? Playing "Twister"?

                  Praise God that you have abandoned your sin as we know how God feels about the filthy slut.

                  "Son of man, cause Jerusalem to know her abominations," Ezekial 16:2

                  "I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the field, and thou hast increased and waxen great, and thou art come to excellent ornaments: thy breasts are fashioned, and thine hair is grown, whereas thou wast naked and bare." Ezekial 16:7

                  "I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck." Ezekial 16:11
                  God loves the woman and admires the beauty of His creation. He even gives the lesser sex baubles to wear as He knows they are easily entertained with foolishness.

                  "But thou didst trust in thine own beauty, and playedst the harlot because of thy renown, and pouredst out thy fornications on every one that passed by; his it was." Ezekial 16:15

                  "And of thy garments thou didst take, and deckedst thy high places with divers colours, and playedst the harlot thereupon: the like things shall not come, neither shall it be so." Ezekial 16:16
                  God's careful grooming and love of the simpleton woman wasn't enough? Overnight, the conceit and vanity has her servicing every man that walks by? Just trying to understand what happens when a woman chooses to shun God and spread her legs as a slut.

                  "Thou hast played the whore also with the Assyrians, because thou wast unsatiable; yea, thou hast played the harlot with them, and yet couldest not be satisfied." Ezekial 16:28
                  ALL of the Assyrians and still not satisfied??

                  "They give gifts to all whores: but thou givest thy gifts to all thy lovers, and hirest them, that they may come unto thee on every side for thy whoredom." Ezekial 16:33
                  Is it the gifts that keep the prostitute in her trade?

                  "Wherefore, O harlot, hear the word of the LORD:" Ezekial 16:35

                  "Thus saith the Lord GOD; Because thy filthiness was poured out, and thy nakedness discovered through thy whoredoms with thy lovers, and with all the idols of thy abominations, and by the blood of thy children, which thou didst give unto them;" Ezekial 16:36

                  "Behold, therefore I will gather all thy lovers, with whom thou hast taken pleasure, and all them that thou hast loved, with all them that thou hast hated; I will even gather them round about against thee, and will discover thy nakedness unto them, that they may see all thy nakedness." Ezekial 16:37

                  "And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy." Ezekial 16:38
                  From an innocent relationship between father and daughter to the point that He will smite her for her wickedness. So sad.

                  In Christ
                  Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

                  sigpic

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                    I just can't stop thinking about this. Even when I'm asleep. I know that old serpent is after me..

                    JOB 20 ©1611
                    12 Though wickednes be sweet in his mouth, though hee hide it vnder his tongue;
                    13 Though he spare it, and forsake it not, but keepe it stil within his mouth:
                    14 Yet his meate in his bowels is turned, it is the gall of Aspes within him.


                    Yet even as this thing is upon us, the earth trembling and the rushing heat comes a still small voice

                    I KINGS 19:12 And after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire, a still small voice.

                    ..and I hear of something that intrigues me, to try making

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                      Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
                      What caused your fall Sister? An awkward moment on the playground? A sleepover without parental supervision? Fumbling in the dark at the movie theater? Playing "Twister"?
                      All four in quick succession, though not necessarily in that order.

                      I will be elaborating in my upcoming autobiography though. Half of the proceeds will be going to Landover Baptist Church.

                      Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                      I just can't stop thinking about this. Even when I'm asleep. I know that old serpent is after me..

                      JOB 20 ©1611
                      12 Though wickednes be sweet in his mouth, though hee hide it vnder his tongue;
                      13 Though he spare it, and forsake it not, but keepe it stil within his mouth:
                      14 Yet his meate in his bowels is turned, it is the gall of Aspes within him.


                      Yet even as this thing is upon us, the earth trembling and the rushing heat comes a still small voice

                      I KINGS 19:12 And after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire, a still small voice.

                      ..and I hear of something that intrigues me, to try making
                      Pray tell Sister Mitza, hast thou been keeping away from the absinthe? I am finding it a bit difficult to understand your meaning here.
                      "Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

                      An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
                      Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
                      My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
                      Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
                      An Open Question to All false christians.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                        Originally posted by Lycia The Repentant
                        Pray tell Sister Mitza, hast thou been keeping away from the absinthe? I am finding it a bit difficult to understand your meaning here.
                        somehow this thread has gotten within me

                        it guided my recent dressmaking activities, and I hope to be witnessing on the dancefloor very soon with garments that I will be handing out to harlots Genesis 3:7 but I also seem to have made capes for whoremongers (they are matt black, so that no-one will be able to see them) but I can't escape the possibility that Satan will pervert my good intentions, and can't stop seeing the lifestyle thou hast described

                        I need something in this void

                        ..thought the soap might cleanse me (and that I could make some) but am anxious

                        James 4:4 .. .. could this be the real me?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                          What is a harlot? Something as bad as a goth? Or worse?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                            Originally posted by kuribeibe View Post
                            What is a harlot? Something as bad as a goth? Or worse?
                            Synonymous. The harlot (or whore) is the same as the gothic witch.

                            Both are usually obese and selfish females that will either prostitute their bodies for money and narcotics, or rape the innocent for personal satisfaction.

                            They are damned and may God smite them.

                            In Christ
                            Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

                            sigpic

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Miss Lycia's Five Easy Steps to Stop Being a Hellbound Harlot

                              Originally posted by kuribeibe View Post
                              What is a harlot? Something as bad as a goth? Or worse?
                              I would like to add that harlots also bring bastards into the world, which is abominable before God, and commit pedophilia on them by breast feeding. More reason that God commands us to burn pregnant harlots.

                              Genesis 38:24 Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.
                              Deuteronomy 23:2 (King James Version) 2A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
                              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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