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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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  #1  
Old 08-13-2009, 04:28 AM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
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Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Cool Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Women

Attention all young ladies, age 18-24!

Are you unsaved and wish to find Jesus Christ? Are you already saved and want to further your knowledge of the Bible? Are you confused by the mixed messages modern-day society and liberal values are telling you? Do you feel alone and despondent and wish to have an older, experienced True Christian™ pastor to talk to and be there for you?

Look no further than my new FREE salvation ministry: Rev. Jim's Ladies of the Lord! As you know, my name is Rev. Jim Osborne and I've been an ordained pastor for over 45 years. I realize that young women growing up in today's tumultuous world face a terrible amount of challenges and need help getting through them. The modern day world is extraordinarily tough for a young Christian woman to get through. Let me help you with private, one-on-one Bible Study and pastoral consultation.

This program is open to young women age 18-24 only. No underage females allowed. If you are over 24, I may waive the rules, ask me for details. Whether you are unsaved and wishing for a relationship with Christ, or have been saved for years and just want to learn how to become a better Christian woman, this program is for you.


Take advantage of this limited-time offering! Rev. Jim's Ladies of the Lord evangelical program offers:
  • Free first-class airfare either to Freehold, IA or for me to fly out to wherever you are.
  • Three night stay in a 4-star hotel suite. The work of the Lord cannot be done in a single day (or night) so this is a weekend program.
  • All your questions about the Bible, Jesus, and God answered by me, Rev. Jim.
  • Everything is totally discreet. Bible study and witnessing will be done in the aforementioned private hotel suite so nobody can come between you and your salvation with Jesus Christ! It is totally confidential so nobody will have to know what you are doing, whether they are parents, friends, husbands, or boyfriends.
  • Special emphasis on the women's role as outlined in the Bible and how to compromise that with the fast-paced world of modern living.
  • Expert advice in sexual and marital issues. As an experienced pastor, you can confide with me one-on-one your most sensitive and personal matters.
What could be better? A weekend alone with the famous and much-respected Rev. Jim Osborne in a hotel, learning more about Jesus, insuring your place in Heaven, and becoming a better Christian Woman -- for FREE!

Also, ask about group packages. Perhaps you and your friends from college all want to become better women. This can be arranged too. PM me for details or email me at revjimosborne@gmail.com. Please make sure to include your full name, private cell phone number, e-mail address, and a couple of good-quality pictures of you. Headshots or bodyshots, it doesn't matter.

JESUS IS WAITING...are you going to let Him down?
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  #2  
Old 08-13-2009, 04:39 AM
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is online now
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Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

Pastor, may I be part of your Holy Entourage? I'm rather good at negotiating and finding things and sinner women in strange cities.

I could start the paperwork on getting my liquor license for your suite/apartment in Dubai.
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

Contact me for private counseling. levijoneslbc@gmail.com



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  #3  
Old 08-14-2009, 04:01 PM
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Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
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Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

Rev,

One just has to admire your willingness and endurance in wrestling with Satan.

The Rest of You; Me and Brother Leroy were doing security detail on one of Rev Jim's bible studies for woman session and this one young lady was just full of Satan's demons. You should have seen her, she came in in these fishnet stocking and all this make up, just sassy as can be. But Rev Jim was up to the task Jesus set for him with her. It was amazing; Rev Jim spent 48 hours strait in that hotel room prayer with her! Never left it once. All me and Leroy could here was the occasional "Lord I am coming" and the woman screaming as the demon left her.

I have never seen faith like that in my life.
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  #4  
Old 08-14-2009, 04:37 PM
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James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
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James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

My four daughters want to come but they are too young. Next December 9th, the eldest, Carol, will be 18, perhaps we could send her there after the new year. She'll have to work out a deal with the rest of the kids to take over her chores for the weekend.

Here is a picture of Carol:



Here is Jessica, she'll be 18 come Next August 3rd.

__________________
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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  #5  
Old 08-14-2009, 06:07 PM
Rev. Jim Osborne's Avatar
Rev. Jim Osborne Rev. Jim Osborne is offline
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Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. Jim Osborne will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
Pastor, may I be part of your Holy Entourage? I'm rather good at negotiating and finding things and sinner women in strange cities.

I could start the paperwork on getting my liquor license for your suite/apartment in Dubai.
Well Levi, I may have some work cut out for you. I am in need of a chaffeur, after having let go my faithful negro servant, Jupiter. Can you handle a stretch Escalade? Are you good at cleaning stains out of the waterbed I have in the back? (Sometimes I spill some sauce when I'm eating and the limo hits a bump in the road)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Rev,

One just has to admire your willingness and endurance in wrestling with Satan.

The Rest of You; Me and Brother Leroy were doing security detail on one of Rev Jim's bible studies for woman session. And this one young lady was just full of Satan's demons. You should have seen her, she came in in these fishnet stocking and all this make up, just sassy as can be. But Rev Jim was up to the task Jesus set for him with her. It was amazing; Rev Jim spent 48 hours strait in that hotel room prayer with her! Never left it once. All me and Leroy could here was the occasional "Lord I am coming" and the woman screaming as the demon left her.

I have never seen faith like that in my life.
Ah yes, I remember that one especially, Brother Bobby-Joe! She truly came to me as a unsaved harlot for the Devil. She was really hard-work...kept me up all night trying to pound the Bible into her. It was also physically exhausting as well, since the tough conversions try both the spirit and body. The climax of the session was when I drenched her with baptismal water. That was enough for the demons to permanently leave her.

I understand she is coming back for a repeat visit in order not to backslide. If I may say so, I'm very good at helping women who are tempted to backslide. The Love of Jesus can penetrate any closed soul.

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
My four daughters want to come but they are too young. Next December 9th, the eldest, Carol, will be 18, perhaps we could send her there after the new year. She'll have to work out a deal with the rest of the kids to take over her chores for the weekend.

Here is Jessica, she'll be 18 come Next August 3rd.

Brother James, I can see in young Jessica's eyes that she yearns deeply and passionately for the Lord. You have no idea how badly I want to minister to her right now, but she is 17, but I don't want to get into any legal trouble as my ministry requires an age-of-consent.

I can help this young cowgirl straddle herself into understanding God's Word® and ride herself to eternal Salvation®. She'll be buckin' and yelling "yee-haw" for the Lord!
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Old 08-15-2009, 03:39 AM
Christiansoldier Christiansoldier is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

What a generous thing to do Reverend! Good luck and hope you find plenty of young woman to join this program !
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Old 08-15-2009, 04:43 AM
Jenni111 Jenni111 is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post

Brother James, I can see in young Jessica's eyes that she yearns deeply and passionately for the Lord. You have no idea how badly I want to minister to her right now, but she is 17, but I don't want to get into any legal trouble as my ministry requires an age-of-consent.

I can help this young cowgirl straddle herself into understanding God's Word® and ride herself to eternal Salvation®. She'll be buckin' and yelling "yee-haw" for the Lord!
...Age of consent? What exactly are you doing Reverand?!?
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Old 08-15-2009, 04:45 AM
liveforHim liveforHim is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

The sexual innuendos in this thread are absolutely outrageous. I find it extremely hard to believe that you're helping them learn things about the Bible. Especially, with the wording you use, such as; "pounding" "penetrating" "climax" "physically exhausting." And I'm pretty sure nobody is dumb enough to believe that the "stains" in your waterbed are from spilling sauce. I doubt you would have that many stains, there aren't that many bumps in the road that would cause that. Plus, you only want young girls who are the legal age of consensual sex for older men. It's sick, and twisted. You shouldn't be advertising this type of thing. A 4-Star Hotel Suite alone with you? Yeah, I doubt you would need to be alone or in a hotel in order to help bring someone to God. Oh! Not to mention the fact that you ask for possible full-body images of these girls.

Your use of words is poor Rev. If girls are meant to wait until marriage to have any sort of sexual intercourse, then please Sir, explain to me why you are trying to get them to do this with you in a hotel? Maybe you won't admit that these are indeed your intentions but hearing from other people that a girl was screaming "Lord I am coming," just proves what's really going on in that hotel room. Helping someone believe in God whole-heartedly would not be physically exhausting in anyway. You aren't required to do anything physical to get someone to believe in Him.

I am truly appauled at this. If you are going to advertise having sex with people who are eighteen and up, then do it elsewhere so people who are smart don't have to read into your innuendos.

Oh, and one more thing. "You have no idea how badly I want to minister to her right now," yeah, we all know what that means. She won't be "bucking" and yelling "yee-haw" for Him, she'll be bucking and yelling yee-haw for completely different reasons. If no one else sees this, they're blind. Simple as that.

Place your advertising for this type of thing elsewhere.
Please and Thank you.
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  #9  
Old 08-15-2009, 04:55 AM
Christiansoldier Christiansoldier is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

Quote:
Originally Posted by liveforHim View Post
The sexual innuendos in this thread are absolutely outrageous. I find it extremely hard to believe that you're helping them learn things about the Bible. Especially, with the wording you use, such as; "pounding" "penetrating" "climax" "physically exhausting." And I'm pretty sure nobody is dumb enough to believe that the "stains" in your waterbed are from spilling sauce. I doubt you would have that many stains, there aren't that many bumps in the road that would cause that. Plus, you only want young girls who are the legal age of consensual sex for older men. It's sick, and twisted. You shouldn't be advertising this type of thing. A 4-Star Hotel Suite alone with you? Yeah, I doubt you would need to be alone or in a hotel in order to help bring someone to God. Oh! Not to mention the fact that you ask for possible full-body images of these girls.

Your use of words is poor Rev. If girls are meant to wait until marriage to have any sort of sexual intercourse, then please Sir, explain to me why you are trying to get them to do this with you in a hotel? Maybe you won't admit that these are indeed your intentions but hearing from other people that a girl was screaming "Lord I am coming," just proves what's really going on in that hotel room. Helping someone believe in God whole-heartedly would not be physically exhausting in anyway. You aren't required to do anything physical to get someone to believe in Him.

I am truly appauled at this. If you are going to advertise having sex with people who are eighteen and up, then do it elsewhere so people who are smart don't have to read into your innuendos.

Oh, and one more thing. "You have no idea how badly I want to minister to her right now," yeah, we all know what that means. She won't be "bucking" and yelling "yee-haw" for Him, she'll be bucking and yelling yee-haw for completely different reasons. If no one else sees this, they're blind. Simple as that.

Place your advertising for this type of thing elsewhere.
Please and Thank you.
Stop spreading slander of the good Reverend!
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  #10  
Old 08-15-2009, 04:57 AM
liveforHim liveforHim is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by Christiansoldier View Post
Stop spreading slander of the good Reverend!

Good Reverend? If you can find anything good in what he is really doing, then please, inform me?
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:03 AM
Christiansoldier Christiansoldier is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by liveforHim View Post
Good Reverend? If you can find anything good in what he is really doing, then please, inform me?
He's simply spreading the Lord's teachings to young woman. Tell me, how do you see anything wrong with that? What are you? A moon-worshipping mooslim?
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:04 AM
liveforHim liveforHim is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by Christiansoldier View Post
He's simply spreading the Lord's teachings to young woman. Tell me, how do you see anything wrong with that? What are you? A moon-worshipping mooslim?

No actually, I can't stand muslims. They're disgusting. I solely believe in God, and I was raised to be that way. I am a Christian and I find this wrong. It is obvious what he's trying to do. Do you not see the innuendos or are you so brainwashed that you no longer see sexual innuendos?
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:06 AM
Christiansoldier Christiansoldier is offline
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Originally Posted by liveforHim View Post
No actually, I can't stand muslims. They're disgusting. I solely believe in God, and I was raised to be that way. I am a Christian and I find this wrong. It is obvious what he's trying to do. Do you not see the innuendos or are you so brainwashed that you no longer see sexual innuendos?
It's pretty obvious you aren't a real Christian. What church do you attend?
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:09 AM
liveforHim liveforHim is offline
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It's pretty obvious you aren't a real Christian. What church do you attend?
No actually. I am. I am a part of Element Student Ministries, I go to Revolution every Wednesday and this is held at Warren Woods Christian School in the loft. They have a worship band for the first little while of the service and then they have interns speak of God. They're services truly make me think every time I am there and I attended Battle Cry in '07 at Ford Field. It truly spoke to me and I was saved there.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:16 AM
Christiansoldier Christiansoldier is offline
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No actually. I am. I am a part of Element Student Ministries, I go to Revolution every Wednesday and this is held at Warren Woods Christian School in the loft. They have a worship band for the first little while of the service and then they have interns speak of God. They're services truly make me think every time I am there and I attended Battle Cry in '07 at Ford Field. It truly spoke to me and I was saved there.
You aren't a real Christian unless you follow the 1611 King James Bible, believe every part of it (not just the goody-goody parts you heard at sunday school), and you have to follow an Independant Baptist Church.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:19 AM
liveforHim liveforHim is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by Christiansoldier View Post
You aren't a real Christian unless you follow the 1611 King James Bible, believe every part of it (not just the goody-goody parts you heard at sunday school), and you have to follow an Independant Baptist Church.

Alright you want to go all Baptist on me? Sounds good, From first grade through fifth grade I attended Redeemer Baptist Church. I learned verses and repeated them by memory to our leader. We had to go home, read them, and then come back the next week and repeat what we learned. We had homework to do at home and we were given rewards for remembering them. I am a Christian and I am saved.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:29 AM
Christiansoldier Christiansoldier is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by liveforHim View Post
Alright you want to go all Baptist on me? Sounds good, From first grade through fifth grade I attended Redeemer Baptist Church. I learned verses and repeated them by memory to our leader. We had to go home, read them, and then come back the next week and repeat what we learned. We had homework to do at home and we were given rewards for remembering them. I am a Christian and I am saved.
That's good and all, but do you follow the 1611 King James Bible.

If I had a nickel for every time I said that...
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:35 AM
liveforHim liveforHim is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by Christiansoldier View Post
That's good and all, but do you follow the 1611 King James Bible.

If I had a nickel for every time I said that...
If I had a nickel for every person who is not intelligent enough to realize these sexual innuendos, I'd be a rich Christian woman with pride.

Anyway, back to the point. I know it's good, I can easily tell you what Churches I have attended and mission things I have been through. I do follow the 1611 King James Bible.
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Old 08-15-2009, 05:39 AM
Christiansoldier Christiansoldier is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by liveforHim View Post
If I had a nickel for every person who is not intelligent enough to realize these sexual innuendos, I'd be a rich Christian woman with pride.

Anyway, back to the point. I know it's good, I can easily tell you what Churches I have attended and mission things I have been through. I do follow the 1611 King James Bible.
Listen girl, we do not appreciate Godmockers on this forum.
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  #20  
Old 08-15-2009, 05:41 AM
liveforHim liveforHim is offline
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Default Re: Rev. Jim's "Ladies of the Lord" FREE Bible Study for Young Wo

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Originally Posted by Christiansoldier View Post
Listen girl, we do not appreciate Godmockers on this forum.
I am not a Godmocker. Thank you. If I was, would I be here? Or would I attend these Church services? No, I wouldn't but see I do happen to attend them and they make me think everytime I am there. I was brought closer to God two years ago and it was an amazing part of my life. I did not miss a week and on Friday I would attend Element just so that I could listen to the prayer half-time and sing the Worshiping songs.
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