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  • #1

    Can someone please come bail me out?

    Hello, Everyone.

    I wish I could add a smiley-face to that, but it is difficult right now.

    I have somehow "awoken" in the Cherokee Mental Health Institute (!!!) (a state hospital), registered under the name "Munroes (sp?) Woman". They say that's all the name I would give them, and I was apparently not carrying ID at the time. Of course, this doesn't sound like me at all, so I am suspicious. Unfortunately, they're now calling me paranoid as I deny it more and more.

    WHO DID THIS TO ME???

    It's my belief I was kidnapped by Indians (??) and deposited here. I don't remember anything except my garage door rolling up for me to drive off....and then it all goes black. Obviously, they were hiding in the driveway and knocked me out with something.

    Fortunately I have found a sympathetic male orderly here in the rec room (WHITE, thank God™!) and he's allowed me to use a passcode to get online. Also fortunately, there are no diabolical Redmen to be seen...at the moment anyway

    Someone needs to come pay my bill, bring me some identification and decent clothes (ask Vavoline) and SIGN ME OUT OF HERE! Then and only then can we investigate who took me from my little nest on Woodlawn Drive!

    Please hurry. They say there's some kind of meatloaf for dinner. I am very scared.


    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

    I donned a labcoat and gave it a try. They are so far refusing to acknowledge the relevance of a degree in Breastology in the treatment of what they are calling "Criminal Psychology".

    I've got a call in to Patriot University in order to obtain a doctorate in Ethical Christian Psychology, but getting a doctorate is hard work and may take me up to a week.
    Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

      Originally posted by Des View Post
      They are so far refusing to acknowledge the relevance of a degree in Breastology in the treatment of what they are calling "Criminal Psychology".
      "Criminal Psychology"?? The crime is that I'm IN HERE.

      OMG....this is outrageous. I thank you for trying! I'll reimburse you for any necessary courses when I'm out.

      Ask to speak to Dr. Levine. (Yes, a Joo, from all appearances.) (I am refusing to speak to him for obvious reasons, but he's in charge of my "case".)

      PS: someone just threw a woven potholder at my head from over in the Occupational Therapy area, and it hit me in the eye.

      These people are savages.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

        Oh Miss Cookie! Again?

        You are aware they fellows were not chasing butterflies with those nets, right?

        I'll make some calls though as you know, many in the mental health services seem to have a distaste for the Hutchins name after the incidents with my brother.
        I've Fedxed some toiletries to you so you can feel like a civil person along with a KJV.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

          Cookie, I do SO hope you see this.

          I picked up Sister Daisy and we headed your direction moments ago; we noticed a sale on shoes - you should see the DARLING pair Daisy picked out - they're just so sweet and only $110 - well, then we went to Cinnabon and from there to get a latte. We're almost there, hon'. Did you want us to go back and get you some shoes before we get you?

          Hugs,
          Naomi and Daisy
          1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
          Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
          Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
          Locations in 50 States and Canada
          !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
          Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
          Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

            Thank you, but I need ID though, to be released, rather than shoes. But if you see some nude-colored pumps (size 7 1/2) they'd go better with this smock than the flip flops they've given me.

            I didn't get my license renewed because there was a terrible mixup about my birthdate at the DMV. But the old one has to be around the house, somewhere (?)

            Oh Lord™, WHY hast thou forsaken me??

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

              As soon as I saw your note, we doubled back and got your pumps, drove back to Freehold and went to prayer meeting, got your keys and that cute little Donna Karan you had in your closet. Sweetheart, your ID is nowhere to be found. Do you think we're going to need Dr. Niles to come with us?

              Daisy made some calls - hon, not to be rude, but what is "salacious pandering?"

              Anyway, we're bringing you a latte with French Vanilla whipped cream. I saw this costume shop with nurse's uniforms - we look so adorable! Wish us luck!
              1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
              Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
              Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
              Locations in 50 States and Canada
              !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
              Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
              Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                We just saw Cookie's car on the way to this "hospital."

                Your ID was in it, honey. Just a few miles away now! Oooh - a tourist attraction! "See the wood from Jesus' Cross - FREE."

                We may be a few minutes, dear - hang tight!
                1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                Locations in 50 States and Canada
                !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                  The administrative offices close in 20 minutes. Can we take in the sights on the way BACK, perhaps?

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                    Sister, I am far from your location, so a rescue is out of the question. I have put some money in your account so that you can get some tennis shoes. My advice is to avoid the meatloaf.
                    God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                      Mistress Cookie,

                      With my wedding upcoming in two days, my father has forbidden me to leave the house. Thus, I cannot go to help you out, as much as I would like to help a lovely Christian lady, and I would just love getting the honor of meeting you. You have been in my prayers; the Devil has done this, but you shall get your reward. I am praying that this criminal act against you will be resolved and you shall be free again to serve the Lord more!

                      YiC,
                      Elizabeth

                      P.S. Please ignore the warped picture they have of our Lord with -gasp- long hair! I cannot do anything about it, and if I knew Photoshop (I'm a stupid woman, so of course I do not), I'd fix it. So sorry, forgive me!
                      Attached Files
                      "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                        okay, I am serious now. i know everyone's busy but I am in LOCKDOWN with 7 roommates, and FLEAS in the bargain. They are talking about SHAVING OUR HEADS to deal with the problem.

                        I have texted messages to the pastors on this stolen phone and no one is answering. Maybe they will pay attention if someone PLEASE explains about the hair...woman's "crowning glory" as per corinthians:something.

                        Please alert Dr. Niles as well. He had my number blocked at one point and I was told not to contact him...but this is an emergency and he will know how to deal with hospital administration

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                          Maybe you will need to be shaved. I'm sure you won't be allowed back into Freehold with fleas!
                          1 Samuel 26:20 Now therefore, let not my blood fall to the earth before the face of the Lord: for the king of Israel is come out to seek a flea, as when one doth hunt a partridge in the mountains.
                          Surely you don't want Mayor Johny Joe Hold and all the Freehold pastors wasting their time searching for your fleas. And I'm sure they don't either.
                          sigpic

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                            Mistress Cookie,

                            I am so sorry, but I am utterly helpless, other than help by prayer, and prayer is powerful. But I am forbidden by my pastors, fiance, and father to leave the house. I'll pray that someone more useful that I can rescue you! They'll pay, I promise. I'll also start writing a petition to start freeing you, since I can do that without leaving the house.

                            YiC,
                            Elizabeth
                            "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Can someone please come bail me out?

                              Why didn't somebody alert me to this sooner? How much is your bail, and what are you being charged with? I'm a little low on funds right now, but if you didn't do anything too serious, maybe we can get the judge to release you on your own recognizance?
                              WARNING:
                              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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