The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!

Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-01-2006, 01:45 PM
Elmer Christianson's Avatar
Elmer Christianson Elmer Christianson is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 217
Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.Elmer Christianson has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Do you spank your wife?

Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-01-2006, 01:50 PM
eliot mayfield's Avatar
eliot mayfield eliot mayfield is offline
God Squad
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 3rd class Tin Tither Ribfest '06 Public Awareness Medal Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 2nd class Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Public Awareness Medal Christian Love Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
Posts: 9,329
eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!eliot mayfield will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?



Now just substitute prison officer for Elmer and I think you're ready. Take an old sliding board, some conduit and a few welds and you will be ready anytime.
__________________
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


http://www.shangrala.org/Pictures/Christ%20Michael.jpg
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-01-2006, 01:53 PM
Dwayne DeKalb Dwayne DeKalb is offline
Unsaved trash, hippie dopehead
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 156
Dwayne DeKalb is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dwayne DeKalb is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Elmer, in a second. It's your duty to keep her in line and ready for rapture!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-01-2006, 02:04 PM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,252
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?
Well Brother Elmer, I have not yet been blessed with a True Christian™ wife. But I am a Pastor, and speaking from the perspective of Jesus, I encourage Men to spank their wives at least once a week AT RANDOM. Especially at this time of the year, they tend to get all flustered and even more addle-brained than usual, what with shopping lists, stuffing recipes and baking vast quantities of snickerdoodles, they need a little attention grabber.

A good whipping delivered for no apparent reason really keeps them on their toes, I can tell you.

And don't forget that the Holy Scriptures tell us that women are not only to be obedient, but to be in "subjugation". 1 Timothy 2:11-15

Quote:
subjugate

verb
1. To win a victory over, as in battle or a competition: beat, best, conquer, defeat, master, overcome, prevail against or over , rout, subdue, surmount, triumph over, vanquish, worst. Informal: trim, whip. Slang: ace, lick. Idioms: carry (or win) the day, get (or have) the best of, get (or have) the better of, go someone one better.
2. To make subservient or subordinate: enslave, enthrall, subject.
We need to follow the Will of Jesus TO THE LETTER, Brothers! So get in there and give her what she deserves for getting us kicked out of the Garden of Eden! And Merry Christmas!
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-01-2006, 04:18 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,555
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?

Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

As for myself since I am single when my women servants need correcting to prevent depravity I use the services of a Miss * Zola in Des Moines. She is surprisingly broad minded and hits quite hard if required, though she is a bit pricey and tends to dress,..odd. She says she is always doing sessions here in Freehold and anyway her website says she does Christian chastisement so all is good.

*She keeps on telling me it is short of for Mistress, what ever.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-02-2006, 06:44 AM
Rev. Carlton Green's Avatar
Rev. Carlton Green Rev. Carlton Green is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Greenbush, Georgia
Posts: 309
Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.Rev. Carlton Green has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

As for myself since I am single when my women servants need correcting to prevent depravity I use the services of a Miss * Zola in Des Moines. She is surprisingly broad minded and hits quite hard if required, though she is a bit pricey and tends to dress,..odd. She says she is always doing sessions here in Freehold and anyway her website says she does Christian chastisement so all is good.

*She keeps on telling me it is short of for Mistress, what ever.
My wife has died two years ago, and I ain't about to go about spanking her smelly ol' corpse. x^P


Without a wife, my daughter Petunia gets double the beatings!

GLORY!!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-02-2006, 04:51 PM
tommy's Avatar
tommy tommy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: close to Jesusland
Posts: 392
tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

When there is a time reference, which tenese is one suppossed to use, past tense or present perfect?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-03-2006, 03:41 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,252
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
When there is a time reference, which tenese is one suppossed to use, past tense or present perfect?
You dare to question ANYONE's grammar, when you can't even spell the word "tense"!?

Shut up and go read your Bible boy.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-03-2006, 05:57 AM
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 7 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
 

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Posts: 13,695
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

[/COLOR][/SIZE]
Twasn't me. However, I whole heartedly admit that I deserved the spanking Pastor Zeke gave me the other night for burning his perfectly good steak. He kept telline me I kept it on too long! I just kept saying 2 more minutes.




Need I say more?

Word for the wise: Women are ALWAYS wrong. We NEED a man to guide us. Just like the time I INSISTED I was capable of valet parking the cars at Sunday Service when Tater and Boby Joe were out of town at a Gun Show.



Subservient, Sister Thumper
__________________


Find me on FaceBook Here
Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here


Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-03-2006, 02:31 PM
Remy Lebeau's Avatar
Remy Lebeau Remy Lebeau is offline
LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire
President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association
Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Platinum Tither Long service medal, 1st class The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Saved 5 Years Saved 1 Year Saved 10 Years Christian Love Ribfest '05 Real American™ 2008 Witch Hunt Award True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Ex-negro Eats the Most Pork True Republican Proud Niglet Sponsorer 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Lebeau (Freehold, Iowa)
Posts: 2,052
Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Remy Lebeau is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Name:  Captured_wicker01.JPG
Views: 38443
Size:  2.4 KB

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Name:  Captured_wicker02.jpg
Views: 38337
Size:  14.7 KB

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-03-2006, 07:55 PM
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,310
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Attachment 647

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Attachment 648

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her.
I think you have caught one of Sicky's sisters. Be careful, those witches will cut your throat in a second!
__________________
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-03-2006, 10:07 PM
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Posts: 5,081
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Why does this thread not surprise me? *snicker*
__________________

Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-03-2006, 10:43 PM
DAT21 (Quarantined) DAT21 is offline
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 29
DAT21 is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Attachment 647

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Attachment 648

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her.
I don't have a wife but if I did, I would spank her..if she asked me to.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-04-2006, 01:11 AM
hellion hellion is offline
Nasty and Mean-Spirited
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 564
hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy Lebeau View Post
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Attachment 647

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Attachment 648

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her.
Don't make me send Clown after you.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-04-2006, 01:43 AM
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,310
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion View Post
Don't make me send Clown after you.
Bring it on. We stomp gimpy pimps all day long.
__________________
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 12-04-2006, 03:14 AM
hellion hellion is offline
Nasty and Mean-Spirited
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 564
hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.hellion is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Bring it on. We stomp gimpy pimps all day long.
Gimpy pimp? Have you ever met Clown? I'm not even gonna tell ya.

Frankly, I don't believe you actually do half the stuff you say you do anyway. So I'm not really worried about it. Also, the two girls in the picture are two different people whereas Remy said it was the same girl. One can't help but to be a bit skeptical.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 12-04-2006, 06:36 AM
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 9,310
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by hellion View Post
Gimpy pimp? Have you ever met Clown? I'm not even gonna tell ya.

Clowns is clowns.

Frankly, I don't believe you actually do half the stuff you say you do anyway. So I'm not really worried about it. Also, the two girls in the picture are two different people whereas Remy said it was the same girl. One can't help but to be a bit skeptical.
They all look alike.
__________________
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 12-04-2006, 12:18 PM
tommy's Avatar
tommy tommy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: close to Jesusland
Posts: 392
tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Spanking anyone is wrong, bad and can cause mental problems to both, the spanker and the spanked. In my country even children-spanking is prohibited.
__________________
The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
Exodus 15:3

Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 12-04-2006, 12:33 PM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 76,252
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
Spanking anyone is wrong, bad and can cause mental problems to both, the spanker and the spanked. In my country even children-spanking is prohibited.
Then you live in a country that is hated by Jesus. The Bible is clear on this point. Reject God's Holy Word, and you reject God. If you reject God, then you are doomed, friend.

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 12-04-2006, 12:42 PM
tommy's Avatar
tommy tommy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: close to Jesusland
Posts: 392
tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™tommy is a True Christian™
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Then you live in a country that is hated by Jesus. The Bible is clear on this point. Reject God's Holy Word, and you reject God. If you reject God, then you are doomed, friend.

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. -- Proverbs 23:13-14
The law was submitted by the liberal government less than two years ago. All parties voted for it, the left and the right, so it's very unlikely to be changed or. amended.

My parents never spanked me, and look how sane and normal I am.

But we are a Christian nation. The nation consists of catholic majority, some other Christian churches and to many Muslim immigrants.
__________________
The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
Exodus 15:3

Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
spanking for good discipline, whip me beat me tell me lies

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:00 AM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1999, 2009 all rights reserved