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Old 12-01-2006, 12:45 PM
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Default Do you spank your wife?
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?
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Old 12-01-2006, 12:50 PM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?


Now just substitute prison officer for Elmer and I think you're ready. Take an old sliding board, some conduit and a few welds and you will be ready anytime.
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Old 12-01-2006, 12:53 PM
Dwayne DeKalb Dwayne DeKalb is offline
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Dwayne DeKalb is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Dwayne DeKalb is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
Elmer, in a second. It's your duty to keep her in line and ready for rapture!
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Old 12-01-2006, 01:04 PM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?
Well Brother Elmer, I have not yet been blessed with a True Christian™ wife. But I am a Pastor, and speaking from the perspective of Jesus, I encourage Men to spank their wives at least once a week AT RANDOM. Especially at this time of the year, they tend to get all flustered and even more addle-brained than usual, what with shopping lists, stuffing recipes and baking vast quantities of snickerdoodles, they need a little attention grabber.

A good whipping delivered for no apparent reason really keeps them on their toes, I can tell you.

And don't forget that the Holy Scriptures tell us that women are not only to be obedient, but to be in "subjugation". 1 Timothy 2:11-15

Quote:
subjugate

verb
1. To win a victory over, as in battle or a competition: beat, best, conquer, defeat, master, overcome, prevail against or over , rout, subdue, surmount, triumph over, vanquish, worst. Informal: trim, whip. Slang: ace, lick. Idioms: carry (or win) the day, get (or have) the best of, get (or have) the better of, go someone one better.
2. To make subservient or subordinate: enslave, enthrall, subject.
We need to follow the Will of Jesus TO THE LETTER, Brothers! So get in there and give her what she deserves for getting us kicked out of the Garden of Eden! And Merry Christmas!
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #5  
Old 12-01-2006, 03:18 PM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?

Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

As for myself since I am single when my women servants need correcting to prevent depravity I use the services of a Miss * Zola in Des Moines. She is surprisingly broad minded and hits quite hard if required, though she is a bit pricey and tends to dress,..odd. She says she is always doing sessions here in Freehold and anyway her website says she does Christian chastisement so all is good.

*She keeps on telling me it is short of for Mistress, what ever.
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  #6  
Old 12-02-2006, 05:44 AM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

As for myself since I am single when my women servants need correcting to prevent depravity I use the services of a Miss * Zola in Des Moines. She is surprisingly broad minded and hits quite hard if required, though she is a bit pricey and tends to dress,..odd. She says she is always doing sessions here in Freehold and anyway her website says she does Christian chastisement so all is good.

*She keeps on telling me it is short of for Mistress, what ever.
My wife has died two years ago, and I ain't about to go about spanking her smelly ol' corpse. x^P


Without a wife, my daughter Petunia gets double the beatings!

GLORY!!
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Old 12-02-2006, 03:51 PM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
When there is a time reference, which tenese is one suppossed to use, past tense or present perfect?
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  #8  
Old 12-03-2006, 02:41 AM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
When there is a time reference, which tenese is one suppossed to use, past tense or present perfect?
You dare to question ANYONE's grammar, when you can't even spell the word "tense"!?

Shut up and go read your Bible boy.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Old 12-03-2006, 04:57 AM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Elmer,

You've got asked yourself when Jesus would spank Glendora. Frankly this sounds like the tip of the iceberg; just the other day I over heard some women saying "Why Glendora is just begging for spanking and nothing is happening".

[/COLOR][/SIZE]
Twasn't me. However, I whole heartedly admit that I deserved the spanking Pastor Zeke gave me the other night for burning his perfectly good steak. He kept telline me I kept it on too long! I just kept saying 2 more minutes.




Need I say more?

Word for the wise: Women are ALWAYS wrong. We NEED a man to guide us. Just like the time I INSISTED I was capable of valet parking the cars at Sunday Service when Tater and Boby Joe were out of town at a Gun Show.



Subservient, Sister Thumper
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Old 12-03-2006, 01:31 PM
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Default Re: Do you spank your wife?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer Christianson View Post
Lately, I feel like her shopping is out of control! And for some reason, she stopped pairing up my socks and now they're just thrown in my drawer. Is it time for a spankning? What would you MEN do?
I spank my wife all the time. And to further her humiliation I dress here up like some demonatrix wench so that she'll realize what she could become without a man's proper guidance.

Now that I have that gothtard slave girl in the basement for the witch hunt I have to step up my spanking regiment. Her cheeks get so rosy after a spanking that I thought I burst some capillaries.

I do believe that she will turn to the lord soon enough. She keep cursing me and trying to hex me whenever I've stripe her naked and spank her. I guess wickers have no shame in nudity as Jesus intends. Considering their naked forest orgies I should have known. We'll I chained her to the ceiling and threated to whip her and she finally came around.

Name: Captured_wicker01.JPG Views: 16328 Size: 2.4 KB

I rewarded her by allowing her to stay in one of the empty servant quarters. She now lays in bed reading the KJV1611. PRAISE!!!!

Name: Captured_wicker02.jpg Views: 16246 Size: 14.7 KB

I still come in at night and give it to spank her just so she doesn't get too comfortable. She's not saved yet and i suspect she thinks the local Des Moines authorities will find her.
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