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Genesis 8:19
Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.
The Science of Kinds
What is baraminology?
Baraminology is the study of kinds. A baramin is a lineage of organisms that originates from one of the pairs brought on board the Ark by Noah during the Great Flood. It is similar to the secular humanist concept of the “species,” except it is fixed and inviolable and cannot be transcended by evolution, since evolution does not exist. It was coined by Creation Science pioneer Frank Marsh in 1941 and greatly expanded upon by Kurt Wise in the 1990s. For this reason, Wise is considered the “Big Daddy” of modern baraminology.
So... what's wrong with Linnaean classification?
The Linnaean system is hopelessly tainted by evolutionism. Organisms are no longer grouped according to similarities in color or shape but by their “phylogenetic” relationship, which is determined through “analysis” of “the fossil record,” “genetics,” and “molecular clocks.” For an example of this lunacy, a vulture living in the Congo and a vulture living in Texas are both clearly vultures, and a baraminologist worth his salt would classify them as such. Evolutionists, however, now claim that the vultures in Texas are more closely related to storks than to other vultures—if that's true, why don't more babies get hit by cars when the storks carrying them stop to nosh on some roadkill?
What are some important baraminological terms?
Conservapedia, one of the world’s leading resources on Creation Science, provides concise definitions of some of the basic terms in baraminology. Remember, this is just the tip of the iceberg—LBU’s new baraminological library contains literally dozens of volumes on the subject with hundreds of information-rich pages between them. Don’t hesitate to dig in!
Conservapedia also lists these peripheral terms, coined by Wise in the field’s “sophomore” period:
Additionally, the following concepts are used to determine the baraminic demarcation of a group and thus its baraminicity, or baraminological relationship:
What improvements have been made in Landover Baptist University's Department of Baraminology?
In short... everything! Prior to this spring, baraminological research was carried out through a subdivision of the main Creation Science department, and had no wing of its own in which studies could be done. Now, the Department of Baraminology has split into its own entity and has its very own wing of the university (formerly home to the Department of Art and Music—something had to give). A trained staff of nearly thirteen volunteers is on hand twenty-four hours a week, seven days a month to assist our students with their research. We will have two new professors and six assistant professors during the fall semester, three of whom were generously lent to us by Patriot Bible University, alma mater of Dr. Kent Hovind and one of the most renowned Christian universities in Del Norte, Colorado.
What kind of baraminological experiments are being conducted at LBU?
Here are just a few exciting examples:
This is just a taste of the wonder and discovery that awaits any LBU baraminologist. For more information, contact Ezekiel Bathfire, Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S., or my husband Gary, who has temporarily shut down our bookstore to take an assistant professorship position in the Department of Baraminology. Don’t wait—get involved now! No prior scientific knowledge or interest is required… just a Bible, a three-ring binder, and a willingness to learn from the best the field has to offer.
It’s not pseudoscience… it’s True™doscience!
Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.
The Science of Kinds
What is baraminology?
Baraminology is the study of kinds. A baramin is a lineage of organisms that originates from one of the pairs brought on board the Ark by Noah during the Great Flood. It is similar to the secular humanist concept of the “species,” except it is fixed and inviolable and cannot be transcended by evolution, since evolution does not exist. It was coined by Creation Science pioneer Frank Marsh in 1941 and greatly expanded upon by Kurt Wise in the 1990s. For this reason, Wise is considered the “Big Daddy” of modern baraminology.
So... what's wrong with Linnaean classification?
The Linnaean system is hopelessly tainted by evolutionism. Organisms are no longer grouped according to similarities in color or shape but by their “phylogenetic” relationship, which is determined through “analysis” of “the fossil record,” “genetics,” and “molecular clocks.” For an example of this lunacy, a vulture living in the Congo and a vulture living in Texas are both clearly vultures, and a baraminologist worth his salt would classify them as such. Evolutionists, however, now claim that the vultures in Texas are more closely related to storks than to other vultures—if that's true, why don't more babies get hit by cars when the storks carrying them stop to nosh on some roadkill?
What are some important baraminological terms?
Conservapedia, one of the world’s leading resources on Creation Science, provides concise definitions of some of the basic terms in baraminology. Remember, this is just the tip of the iceberg—LBU’s new baraminological library contains literally dozens of volumes on the subject with hundreds of information-rich pages between them. Don’t hesitate to dig in!
Holobaramin: A Holobaramin is a grouping that contains all organisms related by descent, not excluding any. For example, Humans are a holobaramin, meaning all members of our species (Homo sapiens) are descended from a singular creation event (i.e. the creation of Adam and Eve) and will always be fully and completely human. Culturally, many racial ideas and myths still stubbornly linger on, but recent research regarding genetic diversity in humans, has convinced a great majority of scientists that "race" is no longer a useful concept in understanding our species) An example would be dogs, which form a holobaramin since wolves, coyotes, domesticated dogs and other canids are all descended from two individuals taken aboard the Ark, and there are no other creatures that are genetically continuous with them. This term is synonymous with the use of "baramin" above and is the primary term in baraminology.
Monobaramin: A monobaramin is an ad hoc group of organisms who share common descent. Any group of specific members of a holobaramin such as wolves, poodles, and terriers or the humans Tom, Dick, and Harry are monobarmins. Holobaramins contain monobaramins; for instance, wolves are a monobaramin of the Dog holobaramin.
Apobaramin: An apobaramin is a group of holobaramins. Humans and Dogs are an apobaramin since both members are holobaramins. A group containing Caucasians and wolves is not an apobaramin since both members are monobaramins.
Polybaramin: A polybaramin is an ad hoc group of organisms where at least one of the members must not be a holobaramin and must be unrelated to any or all of the others. For example: Humans, wolves and a duck are a polybaraminic group. This term is useful for describing such hodgepodge mixtures of creatures.
Monobaramin: A monobaramin is an ad hoc group of organisms who share common descent. Any group of specific members of a holobaramin such as wolves, poodles, and terriers or the humans Tom, Dick, and Harry are monobarmins. Holobaramins contain monobaramins; for instance, wolves are a monobaramin of the Dog holobaramin.
Apobaramin: An apobaramin is a group of holobaramins. Humans and Dogs are an apobaramin since both members are holobaramins. A group containing Caucasians and wolves is not an apobaramin since both members are monobaramins.
Polybaramin: A polybaramin is an ad hoc group of organisms where at least one of the members must not be a holobaramin and must be unrelated to any or all of the others. For example: Humans, wolves and a duck are a polybaraminic group. This term is useful for describing such hodgepodge mixtures of creatures.
Archaebaramin: An archaebaramin is the originally-created individual(s) of a given holobaramin. For instance, Adam and Eve form the archaebaramin of the holobaramin of Humanity.
Neobaramin & Paleobaramin: A neobaramin is the living population of a given holobaramin, whereas a paleobaramin represents older forms of a given holobaramin. Neobaramins have undergone genetic degradation from their perfectly created forms (archaebaramin) and so may differ from their paleobaramins in notable ways. For example, the neobaramin of Humanity has a much shorter lifespan and greater prevalence of genetic diseases than the Human paleobaramin (e.g. Adam lived for 930 years and his children could interbreed without fear of deformity).
Neobaramin & Paleobaramin: A neobaramin is the living population of a given holobaramin, whereas a paleobaramin represents older forms of a given holobaramin. Neobaramins have undergone genetic degradation from their perfectly created forms (archaebaramin) and so may differ from their paleobaramins in notable ways. For example, the neobaramin of Humanity has a much shorter lifespan and greater prevalence of genetic diseases than the Human paleobaramin (e.g. Adam lived for 930 years and his children could interbreed without fear of deformity).
Biological Character Space (BCS): A theoretical multidimensional space in which each character (e.g. height or color) of an organism comprises a dimension, and particular states of that character occupy unique positions along the dimension. A single organism is therefore precisely defined by a single point in the multidimensional space.
Potentiality Region: A region of that biological character space within which organismal form is possible. Therefore, any point in the biological character space that is not within a potentiality region describes an organism that cannot exist.
Continuity: describes the relationship between two organisms which are either in the same potentiality region, or linked to each other by a third, such that transmutation between the two is theoretically possible.
Discontinuity: describes the relationship between two organisms which are in disconnected potentiality regions, such that transmutation between the two is impossible.
Thus, organisms that are found to be continuous in a BCS potentiality region form a holobaramin or monobaramin (depending on if all organisms within the potentiality region are considered), whereas those that are discontinuous form a polybaramin or apobaramin (again, depending on completeness of the organisms considered).
Potentiality Region: A region of that biological character space within which organismal form is possible. Therefore, any point in the biological character space that is not within a potentiality region describes an organism that cannot exist.
Continuity: describes the relationship between two organisms which are either in the same potentiality region, or linked to each other by a third, such that transmutation between the two is theoretically possible.
Discontinuity: describes the relationship between two organisms which are in disconnected potentiality regions, such that transmutation between the two is impossible.
Thus, organisms that are found to be continuous in a BCS potentiality region form a holobaramin or monobaramin (depending on if all organisms within the potentiality region are considered), whereas those that are discontinuous form a polybaramin or apobaramin (again, depending on completeness of the organisms considered).
In short... everything! Prior to this spring, baraminological research was carried out through a subdivision of the main Creation Science department, and had no wing of its own in which studies could be done. Now, the Department of Baraminology has split into its own entity and has its very own wing of the university (formerly home to the Department of Art and Music—something had to give). A trained staff of nearly thirteen volunteers is on hand twenty-four hours a week, seven days a month to assist our students with their research. We will have two new professors and six assistant professors during the fall semester, three of whom were generously lent to us by Patriot Bible University, alma mater of Dr. Kent Hovind and one of the most renowned Christian universities in Del Norte, Colorado.
What kind of baraminological experiments are being conducted at LBU?
Here are just a few exciting examples:
- In order to find out whether or not turtles and dogs represented a monobaramin, LBU scientists attempted to remove the shell of a turtle and place a Yorkshire Terrier inside it, then monitor the survival of both organisms. Unfortunately, the turtle's shell proved difficult to remove intact and a correlative experiment was devised: the shell was shattered with a sledgehammer and removed, the dog skinned, and the hide of the dog stapled to the turtle's flesh. Both animals died within hours. LBU scientists temporarily concluded that turtles and dogs do not represent a monobaramin—their exact baraminicity will be determined through further experimentation.
- Previous research had suggested that ducks, geese, and swans were contained in a holobaramin called "waterfowl" or the Anatidae. To test the veracity of this hypothesis, LBU scientists obtained samples of twenty ducks, ten geese, and five swans from a local waterfowl breeder. The samples were liquified using an industrial blender and the colors of their remains (a young lab assistant referred to it as “duck soup!”
) compared using paint chips. Results indicated that these birds do indeed form a holobaramin, or at the very least a monobaramin. - LBU scientists hypothesized that organisms within a monobaramin will be respectful of their own “kind,” as humans tend to be. Sixteen kittens were obtained from an animal shelter and placed inside an enclosure with a 600-pound Siberian Tiger. Five were eaten, nine killed in an act of play, and two crushed to death when the tiger abruptly fell asleep. The scientists declared their hypothesis falsified. To ensure the safety of the experimenters, the chamber was then flooded with VX nerve agent and the tiger’s body processed into hand soap for the university servants’ quarters.
- The ability of organisms to interbreed is a defining criterion of baraminicity. To determine the baraminological relationship between plants and lagomorphs, LBU scientists doused a cactus in rabbit pheromones and placed a male rabbit into an enclosure with the plant. The rabbit showed noticeable signs of affection toward the cactus but stopped short of attempting to mate with it. The scientists then realized that they had used male pheromones by mistake and immediately destroyed the homosexual rabbit. The experiment was attempted once more with a female rabbit, who proved unresponsive. Researchers attempted forcible mating by holding the doe’s vagina open with forceps and inserting the cactus into it; the results were inconclusive due to the death of the rabbit. Happily, the cactus survived and enjoys a gorgeous view of the university grounds from the windowsill of Dr. Ernest C. Ville’s office.
This is just a taste of the wonder and discovery that awaits any LBU baraminologist. For more information, contact Ezekiel Bathfire, Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S., or my husband Gary, who has temporarily shut down our bookstore to take an assistant professorship position in the Department of Baraminology. Don’t wait—get involved now! No prior scientific knowledge or interest is required… just a Bible, a three-ring binder, and a willingness to learn from the best the field has to offer.
It’s not pseudoscience… it’s True™doscience!
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