Muslim Jokes

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Allow me to kick this one off.

What does Tehran have in common with Hiroshima?
Nothing yet.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Muslim Jokes

and how about this one?

Why did the prophet Mohammed peace be his name cross the road?
He was picking his wife up from the kindergarten.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Muslim Jokes

and then there's....
Q: What’s the difference between a Muslim and a dead horse?
A. It’s no fun beating a dead horse.


not to mention this classic...
Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.


anyone know any more? I'll be using these at the next prayer meeting..any 'off-colour' or sexually explicit jokes should be preceeded with a warning for those more sensitive among us...

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: Muslim Jokes

I hate to say it mate but your jokes weren't very funny. Now these are funny:

What do female Muslims use for birth control?
Their faces.

What do you say to a Muslim with his arm all the way up a camel's ass?
"Having car trouble?"


A man goes into an adult entertainment shop and asks
the assistant for an inflatable doll.
"Would you like male or female?"
"Female, please."
"Would you like Black or White?"
"White, please."
"Would you like Christian or Muslim?"
This question confused the man, so he asked,
"What has the religion got to do with it? It's an
inflatable doll!"
"Well," explained the assistant, "The Muslim one blows
itself up!"

An American Indian, A Muslim and a cowboy were traveling in the same train car.
The American Indian sadly announces, “Once we were many, now we are few”.
The Muslim arrogantly brags, “Once we were few, now we are many”.
The relaxed cowboy, boots kicked on the table, trying to nap, lifts his hat, spits his tobacco on the floor, looks at the Muslim and says, “We haven’t played cowboys and Muslim yet”.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Muslim Jokes

My favourite Muslim joke is called "the Koran".

[Filet-o-fish]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Q: How many Muslim extremists will it take to destroy America?
A: None, American Liberals can do it all by themselves, thank you.

Q: What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing! You told her twice already!

Q: Who won the Muslim beauty contest?
A: No one!

Q: What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward?
A: "Live ammunition."

Oh, it's all so tasteless.

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Muslim Jokes

An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond.
The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."
Which means: "Don't drink the water; the cows have crapped in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."
The Amish man says: "Use two hands,.You'll get more."


What has 24 legs and 48 teeth? Twelve Muslim women!

[Brother Daoud]

Re: Muslim Jokes

So the Christian jokes have to be Good and Clean, but not the muslim ones.

I see how it is

[JennyD]

Re: Muslim Jokes

So the Christian jokes have to be Good and Clean, but not the muslim ones.

I see how it is

I'm as horrified as you are, Daoud.

People like Demon-ACLUtard and Filet-O-Fish come in this forum, spouting nonsense about "tolerance" and "equality", yet are the first to leap onto the heap when someone starts kicking a sanddigger!

[Brother Daoud]

Re: Muslim Jokes

I'm as horrified as you are, Daoud.

People like Demon-ACLUtard and Filet-O-Fish come in this forum, spouting nonsense about "tolerance" and "equality", yet are the first to leap onto the heap when someone starts kicking a sanddigger!

Lol you know most muslims dont even live in the middle east, only 19 % of muslims are actually Arab.

But yes, do I smell hypocrisy?

[Filet-o-fish]

Re: Muslim Jokes

I'm as horrified as you are, Daoud.

People like Demon-ACLUtard and Filet-O-Fish come in this forum, spouting nonsense about "tolerance" and "equality", yet are the first to leap onto the heap when someone starts kicking a sanddigger!

Ah, but good sister, you do have me wrong or confused, for I do certainly not recall a word from my mouth (or fingers, more techncally) concerning equality or tolerance to have place on this forum. Truly speaking, I can not profess to even be a full supporter of equality and tolerance, for humans will always need a social hierarchy and a scapegoat.

[JennyD]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Ah, but good sister, you do have me wrong or confused, for I do certainly not recall a word from my mouth (or fingers, more techncally) concerning equality or tolerance to have place on this forum. Truly speaking, I can not profess to even be a full supporter of equality and tolerance, for humans will always need a social hierarchy and a scapegoat.

In that case, I apologize for casting aspersions upon your character, Mr. Fish.

[Brother J.H.]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Um. Jenny.... why are you apologising to this unsaved trash?

[Magikarp]

Re: Muslim Jokes

For the same reason that she'd apologize to you if she misunderstood anything you typed. Filet is not a supporter of equality and tolerance, and neither is Jenny, but she didn't get that out of his post.

[Mister Brasil]

Re: Muslim Jokes

I think even Brother Dirty would agree this isn't necessary. After all, where in the Bible does it say "Thou shalt not have a little fun?" (Does it say that in the Qu'ar'rrr'ana'a'a'a?)

So on with the good-natured, tolerant, multicultural ribbing!

How do you make a dead Muslim float? Take your foot off his head!

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a malnourished Muslim with his head in a toilet? They don't ship Cadillacs to Guatanamo!

What's the difference between an onion and a young Muslim woman? Nobody cries when you take out your rage and loneliness on a Muslim!