[Brother Daoud]

Re: Muslim Jokes

I think even Brother Dirty would agree this isn't necessary. After all, where in the Bible does it say "Thou shalt not have a little fun?"

Lol I was just saying ALL of the Christian Jokes were good and clean, these jokes arn't. So prehaps someone should post dirty and mean christian jokes, then it will be equal

(Does it say that in the Qu'ar'rrr'ana'a'a'a?)

No. And its just Quran. not 500 characters long

So on with the good-natured, tolerant, multicultural ribbing!

So long as they are clean. But when there are jokes about putting your hand up a camels ass...

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a malnourished Muslim with his head in a toilet? They don't ship Cadillacs to Guatanamo!

I loled

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Never let it be said that we True Christians™ don't enjoy a good laugh now and then. Take a look at what some prankster painted on the men's room urinals over in the West Chapel.

[Brother J.H.]

Re: Muslim Jokes

For the same reason that she'd apologize to you if she misunderstood anything you typed. Filet is not a supporter of equality and tolerance, and neither is Jenny, but she didn't get that out of his post.

Oh boy, here comes the guy from the pokemon cult.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Muslim Jokes

So the Christian jokes have to be Good and Clean, but not the muslim ones.

I see how it is

It's the same way with Muslim and Christian people, so why squawk about it?

Q: Why are camels called "the ships of the desert?"

A: Because they're filled with Arab 'seamen.'

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Muslim Jokes

But yes, do I smell hypocrisy?

No Sir, you smell, Ex:34:14: For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:

Y'see, but for the horrible expense and secular law, God would have us wipe heathens from the face of the earth; you know how it is; peace is proportional to the number of people God kills - no heathens = no trouble = everyone agrees and are brothers.

[JennyD]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Um. Jenny.... why are you apologising to this unsaved trash?

Because I made an error.

Don't worry. I'm sure this Fishy fellow will do something or other soon which deserves rebuking . . .

[Warrior of God]

Re: Muslim Jokes

This is a sort of professional 'in-joke'...

Q...what's the best way to spot a mooselem ?

A...Down a 'scope .


so is this...

Q... What hairstyle suits a mooslem best...

A... Cross-hairs.

and this...

Q... what kind of positive action is most appropriate for a mooselem ?

A... Bolt-action....

and this....

Q...Did you hear about the mooslem terrorist/insurgent tried to blow up a coalition tank ?

A...Burned his lips on the exhaust .

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Muslim Jokes

What do you call a Muslim who owns a camel and a goat?

Bisexual

[Ruth Newberry]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Oh, this is a hoot!

Q. How do Muslims practice safe sex?
A. They mark the camels that kick.

A Muslim walks into his local mosque with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about, Abdul?" Asks the Imam.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies Abdul. "I live by the railroad tracks and on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the rails, like in the American movies. I cut her free and took her back to my humble abode. Allah be praised - we made love all night, all around the tent. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position permitted by Mohammed, Peace Be Upon Him!"
"By the most Merciful," exclaimed the Imam, "you have been blessed. Was she as beautiful as a desert flower?"
Abdul grimaced, "By the Jinn, I do not know - I never found her head."[icky!]

Q. Why are there only 2 pallbearers at a Muslim funeral?
A. There's only 2 handles on a garbage can.

I hope you like them. ^^

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Guy goes browsing in an old antique shop in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. While there he spots a little bronze statue of a rat, absolutely perfect in every detail. He asks the shop owner how much. "$12 for just the rat. A hundred bucks for the rat and the story that goes with it."
"Keep the story, I'll take the rat"
As soon as he leaves the shop with the bronze rat he hears a squeak behind him, looks around and sees there's a rat following him. Ignoring it he keeps on walking. A minute or two later, he looks back again and now there's a dozen rats following him. He speeds up his walk, and after a minute or two looks again - hundreds of rats and more climbing up out of the drains and joining in. He starts running. The rats start running. He heads out onto the pier, runs to the end of it with by now thousands of rats right behind him. When he reaches the end of the pier he throws the bronze rat in the sea, and the thousands of rats run straight off the end of the pier after the statue, and all drown.
A few minutes later, he's back in the old antique shop, and the owner, with a big smile on his face says, "Come back to buy the story, have you?"
"Screw the story - got any bronze Muslims?"

[James Dewitt]

Re: Muslim Jokes

An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was unused to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami, anchovies etc.) and was constantly sending his manservant Abdul to fetch him a glass of water.
Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and return with a glass of water.
But, then came the time when he returned empty-handed.
"Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my water?" demanded the Grand Emir.
"A thousand pardons, O illustrious One," stammered the wretched Abdul, "An infidel is sitting on the well."

[great2Bsaved]

Re: Muslim Jokes

4 people in the carriage of a train - a Jew, a pretty young blond, an ugly old woman and a Muslim.
It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel.
In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Muslim is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.
The old lady thinks "I bet that Muslim fondled the blond in the dark and she slapped him"
The pretty young blond thinks " I bet the Muslim tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him".
The Muslim thinks "I bet that dirty Jew fondled the blond in the dark, but the blond thought it was me and hit me"
The Jew thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that Muslim moron again.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Oh, I just made this one up. (and you all know how good I am at making up really funny jokes!)

Q: How do we know that God hates Islamic countries?

A: Because they Are-Bombin'-Nations!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Muslim Jokes

Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies. You have no right to be having a good time. You, sir, in the front row. Is that a scud missile under your toga or are you just happy to see me?

On my flight to New York there must have been a Jew in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said "occupied."

What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
Nothing! You told her twice already!

How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb.
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

Did you hear about the Broadway play, The Palestinians? It bombed!

What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia? Lefty!

Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!

Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank?
Because it's just a stone's throw from Israel!

Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys?
Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!

What has 24 legs and 48 teeth? Twelve Muslim women!

A small plane carrying Yassir Arafat and all his top lieutenants crashes and all aboard are killed. Who is saved? The Palestinian people!

Who won the Muslim beauty contest? No one!

Two Israelis are in an elevator when the doors open and a Palestinian gets on. After the doors close, the Palestinian lets out a huge, noisy fart. The doors open again and the Palestinian gets off. One Jew looks at the other, wipes his brow and says, "Thank God! Must have been a dud!"

A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police. "Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I'm dying to get laid!"

What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward? "Live ammunition."

A Palestinian girl says to her mommy, "After Abdul blows up, can I have his
room?"

[great2Bsaved]

Re: Muslim Jokes

An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond. The Amish man shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen," which means: "Don't drink the water; the cows have crapped in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."
The Amish man says: "Use two hands, you'll get more."