Electrocuting Pickles For God!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Now God is wonderful and there is a message in all things if we can only find it. Here is Grandpa John, who appears to be an elderly preacher, proving God exists by electrocuting a pickle. (And you thought that you had seen it all!)

I see the experiment as being elegant, wise and filled with Biblical Science! I’m sure you’ll find it convincing as long as you can follow the theory!

[As Grandpa John has obviously used mains electricity – heed his warning and don’t do this at home.]

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Colossal presentation. I'm going to see about inviting this theological genius to lecture our children's Sunday School group. Brother BJ and his boys in security can rustle up a jar or two of pickles I'm sure.

[Nobar King]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

There's not much better than a toasted pickle sandwich. It's a Godly treat which can be enjoyed with lots of vinegar.

[Freethinker]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Wow! This is the neatest thing I've see on this forum.

I would highly reccomend that all of you here follow Grandpa John's advice and wire yourselves to as high a voltage as you can possibly find!

It works even better if you stand in a tub of holy water!!!


I can't think of a better way for all of you to get closer to God!!!

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Wow! This is the neatest thing I've see on this forum.

I would highly reccomend that all of you here follow Grandpa John's advice and wire yourselves to as high a voltage as you can possibly find!

It works even better if you stand in a tub of holy water!!!


I can't think of a better way for all of you to get closer to God!!!

Holy water?! What do you think we are, filthy Cat-licks? We do not believe in that sort of voodoo, missy, and we are as close to God as can be, thank you very much (especially the Gold Tithers) and that reminds me, have you found Jesus yet? He doesn't appreciate you using His Godly forum without giving something in return

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Don't be fickle, let your pickle glow with the love of Jesus!

[Freethinker]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Holy have you found Jesus yet?

You lost Jesus again??? Seriously if he was so important to you you would think you'd keep betteer track of him.

HHe doesn't appreciate you using His Godly forum without giving something in return

Ah yes, money money money. Why don't you just pray for money, surely if there was a god he would gladly give it to his favorite forum.

BTW how do you know what Jesus wants if you can't even keep track of him???

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

You lost Jesus again??? Seriously if he was so important to you you would think you'd keep betteer track of him.

I haven't lost Him, He's with me all the time, of course, He's even my friend here at the Forums, you can check it in my profile. He has washed me clean of my sins with His precious blood, so I can come here and judge you in rightfulness.

Ah yes, money money money. Why don't you just pray for money, surely if there was a god he would gladly give it to his favorite forum.

BTW how do you know what Jesus wants if you can't even keep track of him???

Our Church is financed by the generosity of our tithers, it's the way we can achieve such grandiose things, Landover University for the Saved is an excellent example of it. I am just asking you to show your love for Baby Jesus. It is not for my benefit, but for your Salvation© and your eternal soul. I know what He wants, because He's told me in His Holy® Word:

1 Corinthians 16: 1-2


Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye.
Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come.


2 Chronicles 31: 5



And as soon as the commandment came abroad, the children of Israel brought in abundance the firstfruits of corn, wine, and oil, and honey, and of all the increase of the field; and the tithe of all things brought they in abundantly.

2 Corinthians 9: 7

Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

There's more where that came from, missy.

[Mister Brasil]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Freethinker's obviously just trolling, but this does give me a good idea.

If the gays won't accept a higher, outside Power-- maybe we should fork up their pickles and introduce them to one!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Colossal presentation. I'm going to see about inviting this theological genius to lecture our children's Sunday School group. Brother BJ and his boys in security can rustle up a jar or two of pickles I'm sure.

Make sure they aren't kosher pickles, Pastor. That might offend Jesus!

[JennyD]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

That pickle is certainly ON FIRE for GOD!

[Mister Brasil]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Make sure they aren't kosher pickles, Pastor. That might offend Jesus!

I don't think Jesus would really mind. I mean, a pickle is a pickle. Ugly. Some of them are bigger than others, but they all taste the same.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

I don't think Jesus would really mind. I mean, a pickle is a pickle. Ugly. Some of them are bigger than others, but they all taste the same.

Not to disagree with you, but I've tasted a very good many pickles in my time, and there are SO many different flavors. There are some tangy ones and some sweet ones, large ones and small ones. It really depends on the environment of the pickle and the cleanliness of it. Every pickle is unique in it's own way. There are straight pickles and curved pickles, bumpy pickles and smooth pickles. Some are even oddly shaped with a weird outer coating! In the end, they all go the same place though--down our throats !

[Freethinker]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Not to disagree with you, but I've tasted a very good many pickles in my time, and there are SO many different flavors. There are some tangy ones and some sweet ones, large ones and small ones. It really depends on the environment of the pickle and the cleanliness of it. Every pickle is unique in it's own way. There are straight pickles and curved pickles, bumpy pickles and smooth pickles. Some are even oddly shaped with a weird outer coating! In the end, they all go the same place though--down our throats !

Wow! You cound like a "pickle" expert.

Had a few go down your throat eh?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Electrocuting Pickles For God!

Wow! You cound like a "pickle" expert.

Had a few go down your throat eh?

Of course he has, and yes, he's an expert. I always turn to Dr. Ville when I have queries about pickles.

Why, Dr. Ville was just telling me yesterday about his pickle-slurping exploits. Last year, he even won the Triple T Truck Stop Pickle-Swallowing Contest, when he guzzled down more pickles and pickle juice than anyone else!

Can YOU say the same?

I thought not.

When you are as accomplished a pickle-guzzler as Dr. Ville, then perhaps you can comment on the subject.