Tweet
-
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Great deal and hopefully you can bring in the big bucks to keep this great church going!
However, I am deeply concerned about your usage of a MOTEL to spread your message. The word MOTEL is a portmanteau of MOammar+TErrorist+Lenin. Indeed, staying in motels also produces Negative Karmic Energy known as MOTELJUICES, which then feeds directly into the psychic brain of Ghost Shark, as well as providing more power to the base of the Homosexual Agenda, Soviet/KGB Agenda, creation of more imposters and clones, Temple of Ghosts, Robo-Animal Alliance, and all entities under the umbrella of SATANIC ALLIANCE.
I used to live in motels prior to 1974, but that was when I was a drug fiend who supported my habit by homosexual prostitution. Psycho killers and criminal scum on the lam also stay in motels.
I recommend upgrading your venue to the Hilton Hotel. Not only are Hotels good (via generation of Hwatts), but the Hilton family is a SAINTLY FAMILY who have brought forth PARIS HILTON and the glorious Squid Vagina and Salt-Water Aquatic Womb in accordance with divine prophecy.
In 1979, I foretold of Paris Hilton's birth by a esoteric and extraordinary prophecy:
Originally posted by Mad Prophet Helmholtz, Diary of Spaceship Jesus Prophecy, February 14, 1979, page 293sigpicSPACESHIP JESUS appeared to me in Astronaut form when I was staying in a motel in 1974. He then told me the TRUTH about our world and what illusions the SATANIC ALLIANCE uses to control us! To this day, I still receive SPACESHIP RADIO SIGNALS INTO MY BRAIN. Absolve yourself of your limited Matrix existence.
Hosea 9:7The days of visitation are come, the days of recompence are come; Israel shall know it: the prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad, for the multitude of thine iniquity, and the great hatred. -
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Pastor Zeke,Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I wish I had been forward-minded enough to think of these kind of things when I was a young preacher fresh out of seminary! Back in those days, the best one could hope for was a nationally known radio show with the offer of prayer towels and offerings!
Your innovative ways of reaching out to this debased and tech-savvy generation must lead to thousands of people being Saved ©. I am so happy to support you in this in any way possible. You are truly a True Christian ™.
In Christ,
WarrenComment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
I’m going to say, “I don’t know how we do it at the price!” $149 for 10 minutes with a Landover Pastor? What a bargain! Our joo accountants must have been working overtime (double rate.)
This will bring in the crowds and no doubt about it.
sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Even with taxes, fees, and port charges this is truly a bargain. Who can put a price on eternal salvation?Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View PostI’m going to say, “I don’t know how we do it at the price!” $149 for 10 minutes with a Landover Pastor? What a bargain! Our joo accountants must have been working overtime (double rate.)
This will bring in the crowds and no doubt about it.
Yours in Christ
Brother LazarusIn the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Wow, that is a bargain!!
Is it possible to give one of these as a present to someone?Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Absolutely! Give the gift of Salvation to everyone in your family! Act now while supplies last.Originally posted by Ugly_Kid_Joe View PostWow, that is a bargain!!
Is it possible to give one of these as a present to someone?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Amen
That's Such a Wonderful Deal!
Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
please tell me this is a joke??
Its not a religion, its a relationshipComment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
What's your problem? Don't you want to be Saved(tm)?sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Isn't it wonderful?Originally posted by adosdrummer View Postplease tell me this is a joke??
Only $149!!
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
I am saved, but thank you for your concerne about my soul.Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
But honestly, is that a real offer??
Because to rent a conference room is not THAT expensive.
It seems to me that he is selling salvation. Wich we all know is pretty much what the Catholics try to do.e Fr
But you cant sell salvation. It is a gift. The Best of gifts!
its something you get freely if you except it and Gods Truth. Jesus already paid the price.
And no need to charge soo much for a baptism and a 10 minute sermon. It should be Free!!
I know a God that will make a way for the Word to be heard! Jesus will plant seeds with the help of His saints!
I would only ask for donations.Its not a religion, its a relationshipComment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
Good point. OK, the donation is $149Originally posted by adosdrummer View Post
sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
It is only Salvation through a True Christian(tm) Church such as ours that is considered to be True Salvation(c)Originally posted by adosdrummer View Post
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
Comment
-
Re: Get Saved© AND Baptized For Only $149!!
AHHH.. sorry guys, computer is acting up, sorry for the triple post!! ):
You cant be saved through a church!!! You are only saved by his Blood! By His grace! And being baptised in His name (Jesus) and receiving the Holy GhostIts not a religion, its a relationshipComment
Comment