Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

[Soldier for God]

Brothers in Christ,

A number of months ago, I was driving home from my Bible Study at my local parish when a drunk driver hit my car from the side. I was rendered in the hospital and while I was unconscious, the hospital staff proceeded to administer a blood transfusion (on account of my severe chest and arm injury). I pulled through the procedure with some minor scars, but by the grace of God, alive and well!

I was in my local doctor's office last week for a routine physical. My doctor took a sample of blood, as to test my various levels (iron levels, cholesteral, etc). I thought nothing of this, and soon after, went home.






I just received a phone call from my doctor. He said that my blood test has come back positive for HIV. I told him that this cannot be possible. I am a devout Baptist Christian, and I have not experimented with drugs or pre-marital sex. He insisted that this test is 100% accurate. After a few questions, he concluded that it must have been from the blood transfusion from months ago.



Does this make me a homosexual? I love God with all my heart, so I couldn't be gay, right? I'm afraid for my mortal soul. What do I do?!

Christ be with you,
Stephen.

[Talitha]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

It's true that God created AIDS as a punishment against Homersexualities.

I guess it just goes to show that you can get the AIDS from other ways than just sodomy.
I may have to Ban you in case the AIDS travels through the Internets.

I suggest you send extra Loving Donations to your Baptist Church to show Jesus that you are not an evil Sinner.
Maybe he'll cure you?

God Bless

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

Indeed, Landover's expensive joo lawyers can help you create a will that may help many others for dying as you will.

[Soldier for God]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

It's true that God created AIDS as a punishment against Homersexualities.

I guess it just goes to show that you can get the AIDS from other ways than just sodomy.
I may have to Ban you in case the AIDS travels through the Internets.

I suggest you send extra Loving Donations to your Baptist Church to show Jesus that you are not an evil Sinner.
Maybe he'll cure you?

God Bless

I pray that you will not ban me. I called my doctor and he assured me that AIDS cannot travel through the Internet.

God help me. Please take from me the mark of the gays.

In Jesus' name,
Stephen.

[Talitha]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

I pray that you will not ban me. I called my doctor and he assured me that AIDS cannot travel through the Internet.

God help me. Please take from me the mark of the gays.

In Jesus' name,
Stephen.

I'm waiting for an answer from the Landover Christian Science (The AIDS Dept) for confirmation.
I cannot trust Secular Doctors.

[Nobar King]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

You don't experience any gay effects from the AIDS transfusion? It'll start soon enough.

[Fordman]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

You don't experience any gay effects from the AIDS transfusion? It'll start soon enough.

He is so right.... I suspect that when you start taking longer than 5 minutes to get ready in the morning, the sickness will have already taken you. Be strong my brother.

I should introduce you to a friend that betrayed me recently...

[Soldier for God]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

It's true that God created AIDS as a punishment against Homersexualities.

I guess it just goes to show that you can get the AIDS from other ways than just sodomy.
I may have to Ban you in case the AIDS travels through the Internets.

I suggest you send extra Loving Donations to your Baptist Church to show Jesus that you are not an evil Sinner.
Maybe he'll cure you?

God Bless

I'm waiting for an answer from the Landover Christian Science (The AIDS Dept) for confirmation.
I cannot trust Secular Doctors.

I trust that you will notify me the moment the answer befalls you. I cannot pray any harder for God to take the unclean from my body.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

I pray that you will not ban me. I called my doctor and he assured me that AIDS cannot travel through the Internet.

God help me. Please take from me the mark of the gays.

In Jesus' name,
Stephen.

I'd like to take this opportunity to educate the good members of this forum on some of the latest, up-to-the-minute scientheistic research on how the AIDS can spread gayness, and vice versa.

It was first thought that the AIDS only afflicted queers and that it was spread only during the various acts of sodomy. This turns out to only be mostly true. The AIDS can also be spread through a blood tranfusion from a queer.

Unfortunately, queer blood also carries gayness. But it depends on the amount of blood transfused. If you receive more than a pint of queer blood, whether the particular queer has the AIDS or not, there is a 96% chance that you will become completely gay in six to ten months.

In the intervening period, especially if you do not know exactly how much gay blood you were transfused with, be on the look out for the tell-tale signs of your impending gayness:

1) Lack of muscle control in the lower arms and wrists

2) Deteriorating muscle tone in the throat, tongue, and lips

3) A pronounced die-off of the color sensing cones in the retinas, causing bright, clashing colors to seem fashionable and matching

4) A feeling of emptiness in the colon

If any of these symptoms are detected, a case of full blown gayness is almost certain.

[Soldier for God]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

I'd like to take this opportunity to educate the good members of this forum on some of the latest, up-to-the-minute scientheistic research on how the AIDS can spread gayness, and vice versa.

It was first thought that the AIDS only afflicted queers and that it was spread only during the various acts of sodomy. This turns out to only be mostly true. The AIDS can also be spread through a blood tranfusion from a queer.

Unfortunately, queer blood also carries gayness. But it depends on the amount of blood transfused. If you receive more than a pint of queer blood, whether the particular queer has the AIDS or not, there is a 96% chance that you will become completely gay in six to ten months.

Thank you for making your presence known! Praise be to God to have such an educated voice on this topic at our disposal.

Thankfully, I only received half a pint of queer blood, and so I pray that God will help my body fight off the queer virus. Only through the grace of God can my body overcome this infection.

Professor, do you think God will aid me in this battle, or has he forsaken me, in that I've only received a half pinto of queer blood?

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

Thank you for making your presence known! Praise be to God to have such an educated voice on this topic at our disposal.

Thankfully, I only received half a pint of queer blood, and so I pray that God will help my body fight off the queer virus. Only through the grace of God can my body overcome this infection.

Professor, do you think God will aid me in this battle, or has he forsaken me, in that I've only received a half pinto of queer blood?

Although the research is incomplete, the prevailing wisdom is that when a patient receives a half pint or less of queer blood, the chance of becoming completely, permanently gay are less than 20%. Round the clock prayer has been shown to drop that risk to near 5% however.

But that does not mean there will be no ill effects. One half pint of queer blood will almost certainly cause at least a brief period of BCS, or Bi-Curious Syndrome. This can usually be controlled with high doses of Thorazine, and the risk of permanent brain damage from the Thorazine is less than 40%.

But as you said before, you have the AIDS already, so death within a rather short period of time is a certainty. And unless I'm mistaken, dying of the AIDS will send you directly to Hell. You may want to ask a Pastor, as that falls outside my area of expertise.

Go with God son, and good luck! I'll be praying for you.

[Faith Fighter]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

Although the research is incomplete, the prevailing wisdom is that when a patient receives a half pint or less of queer blood, the chance of becoming completely, permanently gay are less than 20%. Round the clock prayer has been shown to drop that risk to near 5% however.

But that does not mean there will be no ill effects. One half pint of queer blood will almost certainly cause at least a brief period of BCS, or Bi-Curious Syndrome. This can usually be controlled with high doses of Thorazine, and the risk of permanent brain damage from the Thorazine is less than 40%.

But as you said before, you have the AIDS already, so death within a rather short period of time is a certainty. And unless I'm mistaken, dying of the AIDS will send you directly to Hell. You may want to ask a Pastor, as that falls outside my area of expertise.

Go with God son, and good luck! I'll be praying for you.

AIDS IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE KINGDOM OF THE ALMIGHTY!

[EZra M]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

Brothers in Christ,

A number of months ago, I was driving home from my Bible Study at my local parish when a drunk driver hit my car from the side. I was rendered in the hospital and while I was unconscious, the hospital staff proceeded to administer a blood transfusion (on account of my severe chest and arm injury). I pulled through the procedure with some minor scars, but by the grace of God, alive and well!

I was in my local doctor's office last week for a routine physical. My doctor took a sample of blood, as to test my various levels (iron levels, cholesteral, etc). I thought nothing of this, and soon after, went home.






I just received a phone call from my doctor. He said that my blood test has come back positive for HIV. I told him that this cannot be possible. I am a devout Baptist Christian, and I have not experimented with drugs or pre-marital sex. He insisted that this test is 100% accurate. After a few questions, he concluded that it must have been from the blood transfusion from months ago.



Does this make me a homosexual? I love God with all my heart, so I couldn't be gay, right? I'm afraid for my mortal soul. What do I do?!

Christ be with you,
Stephen.

My naive brother, do you not know that the blood of man carries its soul! If you rcieved the blood of a drug addict or homosexual (which btw is the type of people who donate blood to survive, because God punishes them in poverty) then your soul will be tainted! you may adopt the demonic forces the made this donor take drugs and commit sodomy!

[EZra M]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

Although the research is incomplete, the prevailing wisdom is that when a patient receives a half pint or less of queer blood, the chance of becoming completely, permanently gay are less than 20%. Round the clock prayer has been shown to drop that risk to near 5% however.

But that does not mean there will be no ill effects. One half pint of queer blood will almost certainly cause at least a brief period of BCS, or Bi-Curious Syndrome. This can usually be controlled with high doses of Thorazine, and the risk of permanent brain damage from the Thorazine is less than 40%.

But as you said before, you have the AIDS already, so death within a rather short period of time is a certainty. And unless I'm mistaken, dying of the AIDS will send you directly to Hell. You may want to ask a Pastor, as that falls outside my area of expertise.

Go with God son, and good luck! I'll be praying for you.

how is majic johnson, the former basketball star, avoiding death and purgatory? has he sold his soul to satan?

[EZra M]

Re: Dire question, brothers! I am truly frightened!

He is so right.... I suspect that when you start taking longer than 5 minutes to get ready in the morning, the sickness will have already taken you. Be strong my brother.

I should introduce you to a friend that betrayed me recently...

not to mention a desire to eat peanutbutter off his lovers naughty parts!