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Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!)

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  #1  
Old 09-11-2009, 04:35 AM
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is online now
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Default What are you offended by right now?

Right now, I am offended by the following. What about you, brothers and sisters?

The Hugh Heffner commercial on football.

A Levi's Jeans interracial kiss on a commercial.

The singing of Berlin's Take My Breath Away the sodomite Top Gun theme song.

The constant cramming of the homosexual lifestyle down our throats with the Prius commercials.

A commercial in which people ripped their clothes off in a Jack in the Box ad. You on the east coast were spared from this perversion.

NBC's Rainbow Logo.

The guy next to me didn't take off his hat during the singing of The National Anthem.

The guy next to me didn't pray before he ate.

The length of the bartender's shorts.

Ben Roethlisberger's satanic hand gesture at the end of the game. Very, very offended here.

Andrea Kramer being so old as a sideline reporter.

The Steelers winning.
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

Contact me for private counseling. levijoneslbc@gmail.com



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  #2  
Old 09-11-2009, 04:42 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

To tell the truth, I'm most offended by the 'Free Credit Report.com' adverts. There are several of them, and as soon as one appears on the TV I hit the mute or switch to another channel as fast as possible.

These cretins are part of the entire credit problem, yet their ads are seen on every channel at all times of the day. There's nothing worse on TV than these ads, besides all of the viagra ads and pleas to either buy your gold or sell you gold.
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  #3  
Old 09-11-2009, 05:13 AM
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is online now
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

The Indians in Algodones thrusting their babies in front of me and demanding money today. Baby need food! Baby need food!
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

Contact me for private counseling. levijoneslbc@gmail.com



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  #4  
Old 09-11-2009, 05:15 AM
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angels has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.angels has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.angels has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.angels has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Being assosciated with a murdering, blaspheming, evil and Godless Country. England.
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  #5  
Old 09-11-2009, 05:20 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Nothing offends me more than sin.
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Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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  #6  
Old 09-11-2009, 02:19 PM
Isabella Abbey Isabella Abbey is offline
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Isabella Abbey is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

This smudge of Burt's Bees Lip Gloss on this person's cup next to me.

Oh, wait -- that's mine. Never mind. Nothing offensive here.


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  #7  
Old 09-11-2009, 03:26 PM
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Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

That I can't practice my religion the way God wants me to offends me.

That as a white Christian I am part of the biggest persecuted majority in the country.

That my fellow Christian refuse to believe their is something called an "I-80 speedball"; vodka and Viagra that is used to sodomites it leave good Christian men vulnerable to depravity.
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Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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  #8  
Old 09-14-2009, 06:34 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Italians writing books, lazy minorities and alcoholic punks getting money for not working, modern "art", hippies opening their mouths and not getting smacked in the face, the fact that so-called "mentally ill" people get "treatment" instead of proper exorcisms. Oh, and when queers hold hands in public. There's just no need for that kind of flamboyant deviancy!
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God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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  #9  
Old 09-18-2009, 06:23 PM
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Justina Thyme Justina Thyme is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

This used car dealer who ends every commercial by saying, "It's gonna be HUUUUUUUG-E-AAA!!" Makes me cringe every.single.time.
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1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

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  #10  
Old 09-18-2009, 07:06 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

The constant flow of Unsaved Trash that insist on coming onto our Godly Forum to persecute us.

And people who speak Mexican instead of American. That AWLAYS offends me.

And if I really think about it, Mexicans almost always seem to manage to offend me in some way, everytime I run into them.

So basically, Unsaved Trash and Mexicans.
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God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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  #11  
Old 09-19-2009, 01:22 AM
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moral path moral path is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Nothing offends me more than sin.
My thoughts exactly, how hard it is to be True Christian floating atop a sea of sinners.
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Kings 18:27
But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
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Old 09-19-2009, 02:04 AM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Today I am once again offended by Barack Hussein Obama and his Liberal "Joy to the world" attitude.

I heard he isn't going to put missiles in Poland or somewhere so that Russia doesn't get butthurt over it anymore. The last damned thing we need right now it to be even MORE weak than we already seem. He's doing this to appease Russia which has a real man as it's leader, meanwhile Iran is laughing at America and spitting on Old Glory as they build nukes with American cities names on them because no one here is going to do anything about it!
Not Obama that's for sure.
Buttpackistan is laughing at America and wiping their filthy buttholes with our precious flag because our bank teller of a President is such a pathetic weakling. Even Osama Bin Laden has released a tape calling America and Obama weak and ineffective, basically calling us all nancyboys and wimps. Daring us to knock the block of their pedophile prophets shoulder as he spreads his poisonous faith over the planet like a blooksoaked blanket.

That is what offends me right now.
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  #13  
Old 09-19-2009, 02:13 AM
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Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Several things are really offending me!

1 Not everyone says "God bless you" when someone sneezes. Some folks say "bless you" skip GOD! Others say "gazuntite" and some don't say anything at all (probably homers and atheists). There should be a national law recognizing "God bless you" as what should be said after a sneeze! I'll bet most of the Democrats would vote against it though!

2 President Obama's skin seemed to get darker after he was elected. Why cant he wear some Mr. K and make himself look a little whiter? Also, I can't stand those blue lips. Why can't our president wear some lipstick? Not like a homer would, but something natural looking!

3 I will mention this next item cautiously. One of our fine ladies of Landover is building a Tupperware collection made entirely out of other gal's Tupperware. If you ask her to get it back, she'll tell you that she gave it to someone else to return it to you.
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  #14  
Old 09-19-2009, 06:15 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Goths, VampireFreaks.com, darkies

Last edited by Rev. Jim Osborne; 09-19-2009 at 10:16 PM. Reason: Changed the N-word to something more polite.
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  #15  
Old 09-19-2009, 06:21 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Well of course Goths and blacks are offensive! Goths for the way they look and dress, blacks for everything they do and say. I think the main offense for coloreds is their ignorant accent and the way they communicate with the world using half words and slang.
Even when they have riches and can afford to be normal and speak American they still remain ignorant and poorly dressed.
Case in point, here is a colored boy named "Ju" and his garbled mumblings concerning his cash. Who can understand him?

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  #16  
Old 09-19-2009, 06:22 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

There is no room for racism here at Landover, friend.

Today: Women, people who have "emotions" (like that's a thing), Europeans, the names of Korean people. Disgusting!
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Old 09-19-2009, 06:24 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
Case in point, here is a colored boy named "Ju" and his garbled mumblings concerning his cash. Who can understand him?
A darkie Joo? Those Christ-killing spear-chuckers are extremely rare, and usually seem to have one eye for some reason. I imagine they'll probably be senior lieutenants in Satan's army come the Last Battle.
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O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Old 09-19-2009, 06:28 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saved Trash View Post
niggers
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
There is no room for racism here at Landover, friend.
Brother Temperance is quite correct, we frown upon racism here in Gods forum, try not to be so offensive when speaking of the darker races and their inherent problems.
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  #19  
Old 09-19-2009, 06:30 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

Sorry, i was unaware.
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Old 09-19-2009, 08:15 PM
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Default Re: What are you offended by right now?

ASS BURGERS! Yuck!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
3 I will mention this next item cautiously. One of our fine ladies of Landover is building a Tupperware collection made entirely out of other gal's Tupperware. If you ask her to get it back, she'll tell you that she gave it to someone else to return it to you.
Mother Glynndie, I'm Sure this Lady has a Perfectly good explanation for this seeming faux pas

And I'm quite Sure she didn't contaminate any of the nice Plastic with ASS BURGERS!!!!! I can't stand it!!!!!
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