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Friends, dressing up your pet isn't tacky--it's Godly. Don't make your pet's privates public. That's what is truly tacky, as well as sinful.
God knew that canines and felines would become human beings' furry friends, so He formulated a method of testing people's sense of right and wrong. He instilled a strong desire in these animals to constantly flash their genitalia. The average dog spreads its legs more than a Thai whore. The typical cat saunters about with its tail raised so the anus is exposed--it's like God's Eye watching you.
Pet owners who are offended by animal nudity and cover their cuddly companions' shame pass the test with flying colors.
All others burn in hell.
Now some of you are probably wondering about other pets. Birds, fish, and rodents are the laughingstock of the animal kingdom. Nobody can see a hamster's, parakeet's, or goldfish's ding-dong, let alone be offended by it. Be advised: round fish bowls have a magnifying effect, so if you own one, invest in tiny swimming trunks for your fish. Horses definitely require clothes. If you encounter difficulty finding pants that fit your well-endowed stallion, I can supply the name and number of my tailor.
So cover up your critter's naughty bits. And don't be fooled by these decorative stickers.
It's tantamount to a stripper wearing nipple streamers. All you're doing is accentuating the no-no area.
And what about Jesus' image on this dog's rear?
More than likely that dog wears pants on a daily basis, and that's our Savior's stamp of approval. Praise be!
God knew that canines and felines would become human beings' furry friends, so He formulated a method of testing people's sense of right and wrong. He instilled a strong desire in these animals to constantly flash their genitalia. The average dog spreads its legs more than a Thai whore. The typical cat saunters about with its tail raised so the anus is exposed--it's like God's Eye watching you.
Pet owners who are offended by animal nudity and cover their cuddly companions' shame pass the test with flying colors.
All others burn in hell.
Now some of you are probably wondering about other pets. Birds, fish, and rodents are the laughingstock of the animal kingdom. Nobody can see a hamster's, parakeet's, or goldfish's ding-dong, let alone be offended by it. Be advised: round fish bowls have a magnifying effect, so if you own one, invest in tiny swimming trunks for your fish. Horses definitely require clothes. If you encounter difficulty finding pants that fit your well-endowed stallion, I can supply the name and number of my tailor.
So cover up your critter's naughty bits. And don't be fooled by these decorative stickers.
It's tantamount to a stripper wearing nipple streamers. All you're doing is accentuating the no-no area.
And what about Jesus' image on this dog's rear?
More than likely that dog wears pants on a daily basis, and that's our Savior's stamp of approval. Praise be!
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