Where is that little brat?!!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

I can't believe it, my daughter is STILL missing. You look away for a moment and the little brats just run off....If anyone has seen Alice, please tell me where and if she's with you, please give her a spanking on my behalf.


She also answers to the nickname "tickles", it's a long story.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

She's probably run away to a better family, where mommy and daddy will be good to her and not harm her in any way...Unlike what you're doing...And they say WE molest kids...

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

She's probably run away to a better family, where mommy and daddy will be good to her and not harm her in any way...Unlike what you're doing...And they say WE molest kids...

Do you have any evidence to back those accusations up, papist scum? No? I didn't think so! Brother Jeb is a fine, Godly father to his children and a shining example to many of the men in our church, so maybe you should just button your mouth, put away the altar boy, and have a heart-to-heart talk with Jesus.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

She's probably run away to a better family, where mommy and daddy will be good to her and not harm her in any way...Unlike what you're doing...And they say WE molest kids...

No comment. I believe this post speaks for itself.

I am a suffering father, whose child has been lost all night, and this priest, the best the Catholic church has to offer, uses it as an opportunity for a cheap shot.

Only a catholic would be so disgusting as to exploit this time of suffering to push his religious beliefs on people.

Everyone else, please call if you see anything, footprints, anything. She has a little plush racoon she carries with her everywhere, please tell me if you've seen it. I have to sleep now, stupid energy drink is making me crash.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

No comment. I believe this post speaks for itself.

I am a suffering father, whose child has been lost all night, and this priest, the best the Catholic church has to offer, uses it as an opportunity for a cheap shot.

Only a catholic would be so disgusting as to exploit this time of suffering to push his religious beliefs on people.

Everyone else, please call if you see anything, footprints, anything. She has a little plush racoon she carries with her everywhere, please tell me if you've seen it. I have to sleep now, stupid energy drink is making me crash.

Um ... about that racoon, Brother Jeb ... what kind should we be on the lookout for?

... dead, alive, or stuffed?

Poor little thing!

Don't panic Brother Jeb, it will be all right, she will be found soon!

... let us pray, noddy

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

You must be out of your mind! (with worry)

... concerned, noddy

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

Huh Jeb, I know we know we are not in the same tithing bracket and I don't pry into everyone personal lives except what the Jesus and the church have me do but since when have you had a kid?

I mean I feel like I am slipping up on my job here.

[SUV]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

Oh, my, I just peeked in on this thread because I thought it might be about JESUS.

IS this thread about Jesus?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

The kid kinda looks like a raccoon herself. If she painted herself up with black eyes, the disguise would fool anyone.

Bobby Joe, please send a recovery team. This ought to be easier than that Iraq nonsense, but I do congratulate you for getting Pastor Templeton out of the Shi'ite mosque after he had planted all those bombs in it. The little girl was probably kidnapped by the mother or step-sister. You are authorized to interrogate them.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

The kid kinda looks like a raccoon herself. If she painted herself up with black eyes, the disguise would fool anyone.

Bobby Joe, please send a recovery team. This ought to be easier than that Iraq nonsense, but I do congratulate you for getting Pastor Templeton out of the Shi'ite mosque after he had planted all those bombs in it. The little girl was probably kidnapped by the mother or step-sister. You are authorized to interrogate them.

That is exactly what I would give her when she gets home for giving me so much grief! TWO BLACK EYES! That is what the little brat deserves.

Stern, Sister Thumper

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

Huh Jeb, I know we know we are not in the same tithing bracket and I don't pry into everyone personal lives except what the Jesus and the church have me do but since when have you had a kid?

No offense intended, I've prefered to use a separate security company (LBC security has had some friendly-fire incidents, I'm sure you know what I'm reffering to) and as for my paperwork, the government lists my children as belonging to my Ex-Wife, Barbara (you've paid her a few "visits").

Alice is listed on tax forms as a granddaughter, which I guess she sort of technically is, look it's a long story.

You have my permission to lead the search. I have fired the competition and they may face a lawsuit for their failure.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

Son, when you need it done right, you call on the Landover team. What do a few friendly casualties count for in the Big Picture? I have BJ on it. Your little daughter or granddaughter will be back soon. Whoever kidnapped her will face GOD'S fury. If a few innocents die, God knows His Own.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

That is exactly what I would give her when she gets home for giving me so much grief! TWO BLACK EYES! That is what the little brat deserves.

Please don't, she's been in the wilderness for more than 24 hours now and I think that's punishment enough. I know I'm going soft but I just want her to be ok.

Anyway, if the security team gets her first, she'll be lucky to escape with just black eyes. Remember the time those Italians stopped to ask for directions? After five minutes alone with the security detail they were confessing to being part of the plot to assasinate Woodrow Wilson.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

Alice is listed on tax forms as a granddaughter, which I guess she sort of technically is, look it's a long story.

Well just as long as the we get not that silliness we had last year with Pastor Zeke's daughter running around Freehold claming she wasn't his daughter and had been kidnapped from a shopping mall in St Paul. We understand about shut in kids.

Well the Security Quick Reaction Tiger Team is on the cause now Jeb and I am sure we will have her back home with you quickly.

Oh, Pastor Pistole, if our Joo Lawyers call saying something about Amish folks and one of their schools, well the Amish are lying.

Please don't, she's been in the wilderness for more than 24 hours now and I think that's punishment enough. I know I'm going soft but I just want her to be ok.

Anyway, if the security team gets her first, she'll be lucky to escape with just black eyes. Remember the time those Italians stopped to ask for directions? After five minutes alone with the security detail they were confessing to being part of the plot to assasinate Woodrow Wilson.

If it wasn't for that liberal activist judge they would be in jail right too.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Where is that little brat?!!

No comment. I believe this post speaks for itself.

I am a suffering father, whose child has been lost all night, and this priest, the best the Catholic church has to offer, uses it as an opportunity for a cheap shot.

Only a catholic would be so disgusting as to exploit this time of suffering to push his religious beliefs on people.

Everyone else, please call if you see anything, footprints, anything. She has a little plush racoon she carries with her everywhere, please tell me if you've seen it. I have to sleep now, stupid energy drink is making me crash.

No, I just think she'll come back to you if you learn to be a better dad.

She really loves that raccoon...Probably therapy for her to get away from your abusive tactics.

But she still loves you...Just promise to treat her better, and she'll most likely come back!