CHRISTIAN VOTERS GUIDE 2008!

[Jeb Thurmond]

Because it looks like our plans for President-For-Life Bush aren't working out, we have decided to create a voter's guide for the 2008 presidential election.

REPUBLICANS: John McCain / Sarah Palin

MEET JOHN MCCAIN


ALSO KNOWN AS "JOHN MCSAME"

• Bush's favorite Candidate: Bush even wanted him for Vice President

TOUGH ON FOREIGNERS

• Supports a HUNDRED YEAR CRUSADE!

Q: President Bush has talked about our staying in Iraq for 50 years — ” interupted by McCain: “Make it a hundred.”

• His spiritual guide says American was founded for the purpose of conquering the Islamic world:

• Has the courage to stand up against the yellow peril: “I hate the gooks, and I will hate them for as long as I live . . . and you can quote me.” -John McCain (source)
• Hates France so much he supports renaming "French Fries" "If you want to call them freedom fries, that's fine with me" -John McCain (Source)

FRIEND OF TRUE CHRISTIANS

• Proud to be endorsed by Pastor John Hagee! "All I can tell you is I'm very proud to have pastor Hagee's support." - John McCain.
• Supports Intelligent Design (source)
• ENDORSED BY SAM BROWNBACK: "Perhaps more than anyone, the person responsible for John McCain’s turnabout is Kansas Senator Sam Brownback, the evangelical-turned-Catholic religious conservative who endorsed McCain shortly after ending his own presidential campaign in October." (Source)
• Rated 0% by the ACLU, 0% and 83% by the Christian Coalition. Rated 0% by the League of Conservation Voters.
• Voted to impeach Bill Clinton. TWICE! "Mr. Chief Justice, I intend to vote to convict the President of the United States on both articles of impeachment" - John McCain (Source)

KEEPING OUR ECONOMY STRONG

• Rated 100% by the pro-free-market CATO Institute, and rated 15% by the AFL-CIO.
• Support's Bush's social security plan
• Supports Bush's idea to sell our seaports to Dubai:

Dubia "should have control of some of our terminals" because "it's freer than China..." (Hey, he hates gooks, remember!) (Source)




STRONG ON WHITE RIGHTS

• "I voted against the recognition of Dr. Martin Luther King" --John McCain
• Confederate Flag: "Personally, I see the flag as symbol of heritage" --John McCain
• National Voter Registration Act: Voted against. Agrees with us that too many people are voting. (Source)

Tough on Feminazis

• Agrees that Hillary Clinton is a "Bitch". Video here

QUOTES

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because Janet Reno is her father." - John McCain (source)

MEET SARAH PALIN

READY TO LEAD ON DAY ONE

While we obviously don't have to worry about John McCain dieing or being unable to preform his duties due to ill health, it's still reassuring to know that, a heart-beat away from the presidency, is someone with a world of experience. Sarah Palin was elected governor in 2006, meaning she has at least a year of experience, and also has many years of experience serving as mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (population 8,471).








TRUE CONSERVATIVE

• Is a member of a secessionist party whose goal is to secede from the USA.
• Attributes her success to the prayers of a witch-hunter
• She was a campaign activist for Bat Buchanan. Read why Sarah Palin likes Pat Buchanan.
• Supports censorship of library books.
• Is a member of "Feminists for Life", an organization that opposes all forms of birth-control!
• Reads John Birch Society mag, must be a John Birch Society Member
• Made rape-victims pay up to $1,200 for their own justice.

CREATIONISM, aka the "Adam's Rib Theory".


Sarah Palin supports teaching the Adam's Rib Theory in public schools.

ABORTION

Gov. Palin has been described as an anti-abortion 'zealot' who believes that the victims of rape and incest should be subjugated by law to forced pregnancy and required to give birth to their assailant's child, as the Bible commands. Sarah Palin is a woman who is willing to sentence a woman to prison if she refused to give birth to the child of a man who raped her.

And of course she opposes stem-cell research.

WORKING CLASS

Self-described as "an everyday, working-class American" with a net-worth of $1.2 million and owning "a half-million-dollar home on a lake with a float-plane at the dock, two vacation retreats...and an income last year of at least $230,000". (Source)

FISCAL POLICY

By choosing a Governor of Alaska as his running mate, John McCain clearly states that his youthful flirtation with "anti-pork spending" communism are long behind him.

Alaska has the second highest federal spending-to-tax ratios, at 1.89: that means for every dollar Alaska pays in taxes, it gets almost two dollars from the federal govenment. Clearly Alaskan politicians are fiscal geniuses and Mayor Palin is the best of them. With an Alaskan Vice-President, we'll be able to mooch enough government cheese from the United Nations to pay off the National Debt.

For an example of how Alaskans do it, see the 315,000,000 dollar "Bridge to nowhere", as long as the Golden Gate Bridge, which will be built to link a town with a population of 7,000 to a village of 50.

Sarah Palin was a supporter of the bridge, only changing her mind when the Federal Government refused to pay for it.



No doubt when she's Vice President, we will see this shining example of progress being built:



CHARACTER

Compassionate conservative catfighter: Listen to Sarah Palin's agreeing laughter as a radio host talks about the Alaskan State Senate President, a cancer-survivor from Palin's hometown:

At the end of the host calling her a "cancer", twice, calling her a "bitch", calling her a bad mother, and making fun of her weight, the host ends the conversation offering to visit Palin.

How does Palin respond? "I'd be honored to have you." (She later returned to the show, with John McCain himself - just yesterday.)

It's going to be great fun watching our Vice President cat-fighting with other world leaders like Benizir Bhutto and that chick who's president of Argentina. MEOW! SCATCH! HISS! "Take that you fat bitch!"

WHAT THIS CHOICE TELLS US ABOUT MCCAIN:

First, McCain is an expert at making quick decisions: McCain and Palin met for the first time last February at a National Governors Association meeting in Washington. Then, they spoke again — by phone — on Sunday while she was at the Alaska state fair and he was at home in Arizona.

Secondly, McCain is a strategic genius, in that he knows women are so stupid they will vote for a cat-fighting, Buchanan-voting, anti-abortion Adams-Rib Theorist all in the name of having a vice-president with a vagina.

DEMOCRATS: Barack Obama / Joe Biden

Barack Obama:

Arguments against:

• Is the larvae of race-traitors: Part-Asian, part-Jewish, and who-knows what else.
• Is Soft on Cripples
• Is YOUNG!
• Celebrates the rape of New Orleans

Arguments for:

• Perhaps America needs a "Plague presidency", and many republicans agree with the idea.

Joe Biden





Arguments against:

• Is a Democrat.

OTHERS:

Ron Paul





Arguments for:

• Ron Paul is the most outspokenly racially-concious of the candidates. He's not afraid to call black people "animals" of whom "95% are criminals".
• Supported by Sarah Palin: "He's a good guy...I'm like, ‘Right on"

Against:

• He's a MALE GYNOCOLOGIST!!!!!
• Don't waste your vote on him: voting machines have already been programmed to ignore votes cast for him. You shouldn't have angered Diebold, Ronnie!

[Mr. Jingles]

For the demoncrats, I say this: just put up posters with pictures of Satan on them. After All, voting for Hillary or Obama is the same thing. These people need to be reminded that they're going to Hell.

[Jeb Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Mr. Jingles

For the demoncrats, I say this: just put up posters with pictures of Satan on them.

Good idea, but as it turns out the local chapter of the Young Republicans are already two steps ahead. Check out this beauty they've started wheatpasting up today:

[H. Montague Worthington]

I am disgusted that you would include Rudy JOOliani in the list of Republican candidates. He is not a REAL Republican. He's a JOO-lovin', Mary-worshiping, Homo-huggin', anti-business LIEberal ABORTIONIST that MASQUERADES as a Republican to impose his AGENDA of hate, poverty, death, Godlessness, and homosexual sinfullness on OUR CHILDREN!!!

When Rudy isn't busy with his Catholic pedophile anal-rape cult, he's out harrassing honest businesspeople like Michael Milken and Leona Helmsley.

Here is a column from about how Rudy trumped up charges to punish hard-working, innovative, legitimate businesspeople to further his own career and pimp for the Catholic Church and LIEberal culture of poverty...

http://www.vdare.com/roberts/070510_giuliani.htm

Disgusting. We don't need more trumped up charges to harrass America's hard-working and job-creating business community. What we need are more prosecutions of lazy, Mary-worshiping, LIEberal unionists and ACLU types. But that would put a crimp in Rudy's chances for his pedophile friends to bugger little altar boys and his JOO friends to run the banks and the international Jewish Conspiracy from JOO York City, wouldn't it? WOULDN'T IT?!!??!!

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

I get that he isn't perfect, but this particular accusation:

Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington

Homo-huggin',

Is totally uncalled for. I dare you or anyone to provide ANY evidence of Rudy being soft on homosexuality.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Are you kiddin' me, Trent? We're talking about the same Rudy Giuliani, right? This one....




From the New York Daily News, printed on March 8, 2004

Rudy opposes gay nups ban
By James Gordon Meek, Daily News Washington Bureau

WASHINGTON - Rudy Giuliani came out yesterday against President Bush's call for a ban on gay marriage.

The former mayor, who Vice President Cheney joked the other night is after his job, vigorously defended the President on his post-9/11 leadership but made clear he disagrees with Bush's proposal to rewrite the Constitution to outlaw gays and lesbians from tying the knot.

"I don't think it's ripe for decision at this point," he said on NBC's "Meet the Press."

"I certainly wouldn't support [a ban] at this time," added Giuliani, who lived with a gay Manhattan couple when he moved out of Gracie Mansion during his nasty divorce.
Giuliani took his gay rights stance just as speculation hits a fever pitch that he's in line to replace Cheney on Bush's ticket.

Cheney and New York Sen. Hillary Clinton fueled the vice presidential talk at Saturday night's Gridiron Dinner in Washington.

To a mock question from the audience asking Cheney to step aside for someone with "new energy and vitality," the veep turned to Giuliani and zinged: "You need to do a better job of disguising your handwriting."

Asked yesterday whether he would run with Bush if Cheney stepped aside, the mayor-turned-businessman mimicked Marlon Brando in "The Godfather": "An offer I couldn't refuse, right?" But he didn't say no.

Giuliani conceded he's "out of sync" with his party's conservative base, but likened himself to other moderate GOP stars like Gov. Pataki and Calif. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And while he was cagey on the veep talk, the former mayor said he will run for elected office again, but didn't say which one.

Giuliani is considered a leading GOP hopeful in the 2008 presidential race, though he may decide to challenge Clinton in her 2006 Senate reelection bid.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington

Are you kiddin' me, Trent? We're talking about the same Rudy Giuliani, right? This one....

Well, there may be some confusion about his line on sodomite "marriage", but there's no ambiguity about his position on sodomite rioters: he supports them 100%.

Does this seem like a man we can trust to defend America from terror? Sure, he may claim to be "against" Al-Qaeda, but if they started kissing each other and teamed up with the Gay Liberation Front to launch a terrifying Islamic Queer Rebellion in the heartland of Middle America, he'd probably hail them as "freedom fighters." The man is an enemy of Freedom and that's all there is to it.

[Jeb Thurmond]

Why Fred Thompson is Uniquely Qualified to be the GOP’s Nominee

By DAVID MICHAEL GREEN

Thank goodness that Fred Thompson came riding to the rescue this week. Finally there is hope for a party which otherwise gives all appearances of heading for a political train-wreck of once-per-century proportions. At this rate, pretty soon the Republicans will be losing votes to the Whigs.

What a perfect choice Thompson is for the GOP. He’s got everything Republicans require in a president. First of all, he’s an actor, which is what Saint Reagan was.

Second, like the same former president, Thompson is “folksy”. Really, really folksy. He likes to describe himself as just a country lawyer from Tennessee. Maybe he’ll rent that red pickup truck again he used to get elected to the Senate in 1994. Never mind his eight years in the Senate. He’s a Washington “outsider”. Like Reagan! Only different.

Thompson...earned over a million bucks as a Washington lobbyist....It was a folksy kind of lobbying, anyhow, and that’s the main thing. Especially when he successfully helped to persuade Congress to deregulate savings and loan institutions in the early 80s. That turned out well, eh?! Or how about the lobbying work he did to help prevent a London-based reinsurance company from getting stuck with asbestos claims? Very down home. Very Tennessee, Jed.

His kids have now become lobbyists, too! Of course, they would never trade on their father’s name or influence in their work. It’s all just a coincidence that they followed that career path. And, besides, whenever they’re busy not trading on their Poppa Bear’s name as they do their lobbying work, they make sure to do it in a really folksy way.

As it happens, Thompson more than came through for Nixon, which amply demonstrates his bona fides per the fourth important criterion crucial to a GOP president: He’s clearly willing to destroy anything necessary, including the Constitution and even the country itself, if that would help the party [of Jesus]. During Watergate, he was taking instructions from the White House – you know, the very folks under investigation – as to how to question witnesses like John Dean...

But wait, there’s more! A fifth Thompson qualification...He loves tax cuts for the wealthy and free trade, thinks that global warming is a hoax, wants to overturn Roe, is big on the Iraq war, beats up on immigrants, and makes the NRA happy at every turn. What more could we ask of the guy? He even said he would have pardoned Scooter Libby right away, had Bush not beaten him to it. Now, those are some serious credentials!

But perhaps most importantly of all...read his lips!...to wild applause at the Young Republicans national convention a month ago: “I'm getting tired of having to apologize for the United States of America around the world. I'm tired of other people's perceptions that we need to apologize.” Damn straight, Fredo! You tell ‘em!

The whole world’s against us! We’re always right! We need to be proud and unthinking! When in doubt, kick some ass! No more wimps in the White House, especially not Democrats, who, Thompson said in the same speech, are “driving over a left-wing cliff”. You mean like Hillary, Fred? That radical anarcho-syndicalist lesbian terrorist Democrat? Then he added, to more huge applause, “I don't think the people are going to turn the keys of this country over to the party of despair”...The Young Turks at the convention were beside themselves. Now here’s a guy who speaks their language!

[On the down side] ...Described in the media as a ‘trophy-wife’, the curvy blonde looks a lot closer to twenty-five than the forty she’s supposed to be. She’s also a gal who appears to have something of her own opinion about things, and that doesn’t really fly well with the boys down at the barber shop. Just ask Hillary.

Mrs. Fred, moreover, also seems to have a bit too healthy of an independent streak when it comes to that whole thing about paying your bills. So much so, in fact, that there have been no fewer than three court orders (that we know of) attempting to force her to pay what she owes. In two cases her wages had to be garnished, and one of those apparently still hasn’t been resolved, as she simply upped and left for another job.

Besides, consider the alternatives. Regressive drag queens like McCain, Giuliani or Romney, total snoozers like Brownback or Huckabee, rarely seen apparitions like Gilmore (who?)...Thompson came along just in time. ...voters were getting so desperate, they were just about to turn to a little-known senator from Idaho and run him for president as their dark-horse champion. Unfortunately, he seems to be unavailable at the moment.

Unless, of course, you happen to be reading this in an airport men’s room.

David Michael Green is a professor of political science at Hofstra University in New York.

[Jeb Thurmond]

Mitt Romney is in third place, but once he finds Jesus and leaves his Mormon cult, he might become relevant. First of all I like his unofficial slogan "No to Obama-Osama and Chelsea's Mama", and now here's a video of him bravely withstanding assaults from a pothead who thinks being a crip gives him an excuse to engage in reefer-madness.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Pastor Deacon Fred on Hillary Clintnon